Our Sort-Of Resolutions

                      
I said that we didn't make any New Years resolutions this year. This is only half way true. We didn't make resolutions but we did decide to make some changes in our house. The children are getting older and we realized that it is time for them to take more responsibility in the house and they are always asking for money and for us to buy things so we drew up a chore list and have started paying them allowance. This has worked out really well. They have one chore a day, cleaning the bathroom, folding laundry, unloading the dishwasher. I pay them $5 a week. It's so funny to see how they spend money because they are so different. My youngest, impulsive child is a saver. She must have $40 or $50 bucks. She does not want to part with her money. If she asks for something and I say, "You can buy it with your money" she will shrug and say, "never mind". Except for a One Direction calendar. She did shell out $10 for Harry Styles. She is so funny. She writes all her events on calendar and holidays. She asks when I'm going out of town and writes it in. She X's out the days as they go by.

My oldest, introspective and organized child is my spender. Oh man, that $5 burns a hole in her pocket. She cannot spend it fast enough. She spends it before she gets it. She plans it out every week. Her new thing right now are Zelfs. She came home a few weeks ago and was like, "Mom, I need Zelfs. They are $7 so when I get my allowance will you take me to Toys R Us?" Whatever. It's her money. So we went to get a Zelf and when I saw them I was confused. "What the heck, that is a troll." She put her hand on her hip and rolled her eyes. "It is NOT a troll, it is a ZELF and it is way cooler." This is a Zelf:
                                      
This is a troll:
                                      
It's pretty much the same thing. I think a lot of 90's things are coming back. Flares are coming back in style, overalls... Maybe it's just wishful thinking because I love the 90's but I think it's true. History always repeats itself, right?

Besides making the kids take more responsibility in the house this year we also decided as a family that we wanted to give more. So we decided that every month this year we would set aside $100 and do something fun to bless others and spend it as a family. I wanted it to be something the kids could participate in. Not just send a check, you know? Like buy $100 worth of groceries and let the kids pick it out and have them come to drop it off at the food bank. Give $100 to Special Olympics and go to the games and cheer on the athletes. Tip our waitress $100 at our family dinner. Buying things for bags at the VA, catering dinner for the families at the Ronald McDonald House, buying clothes and supplies for the orphan relief. There are so many worthy causes. Giving in a way that the kids can see and really connect with. They are at the age where they can really get involved and learn how to bless others. I don't think we've been doing enough of that and I think this is a really fun way to do it.  We had our first talk this month about how we wanted to spend the money for January and it was easy.

When our daughter was in the hospital the child life department was so important in making our stay bearable so we printed their desired items list and got shopping. The girls picked out toys and games and movies for the kids in the hospital. We had fun and the girls were so excited to do it. They were all abuzz about what we were going to do for February.

I am trying really hard to raise my kids to be humble and appreciative and responsible people. I think it's difficult because I sometimes feel like they live in a bubble. I want them to realize that they are blessed and that life is not easy for people. I just don't want them to be spoiled brats. I know that they will experience challenges and struggles in life (it's inevitable, we all do) and I always want them to be thankful for the good things. To remember that there are others who would gladly switch places with us. I always think that when I am about to throw a pity party for myself. Although, they might not want to switch places with me if they knew about how much laundry I have. Haha.

Birthday Weekend

                     

My birthday has come and gone. It was a good day. I had a conference all day and I came home to a log in the fireplace and subs for dinner. That way my suggestion. I love subs, I'm not high class. I got in my jammies and we ate together and had a nice time. My daddy came by. Afterwards the kids were really excited for me to open my presents. I sat down and they handed them to me. I unwrapped a Disney Princess pom-pom pen, a "beauty kit" that consisted of a miniature plastic curling iron and brush and an iphone plunger. I appreciated their sense of humor. What I asked for was some new games we could play together as a family so that's what I got. They also picked out this beautiful garnet and diamond necklace. We played games, my 9 year old acted like a meanie at one point and went upstairs. Then we decided to watch a movie. Since it was my birthday, I got to impose my will on everyone else. It doesn't happen often, so I was very excited. We browsed through Netflix and all of a sudden I saw it. I was so excited. We were going to watch Forrest Gump. I LOVE Forrest Gump. Definitely up there in the top 10 movies of all time. I turned to my husband, "What's it rated?" He pulled up the info, "PG-13." "Perfect." He cautioned, "Keep in mind they had loose standards in the 80's and 90's." He is so right. We watched Spaceballs a few weeks ago - which is rated PG. They were dropping F-bombs, calling people A-holes. The movie rating board was definitely doing lines of cocaine in the 80's before they watched these movies. I was pretty comfortable with Forrest Gump. One summer we watched it once a week. I know every scene and line and where to skip over. I thought the kids would get bored and go play on the ipad anyhow.

They did not. They LOVED Forrest Gump. They watched intently. What a fantastic movie. As the credits rolled my 7 year old looked at me with sad eyes, "It was a good movie, mama, but every person he loved died." Awwww. "Not his son." She shrugged. "But Bubba, and Bubba was nice." She's so cute. We kissed the kiddos and went up to bed. It was a great night.

Last night we had plans to go out to dinner for one of my co-workers 40th birthday. It didn't work out though. My husband said to me, "Hey, we can't go to the thing tonight." "Why?" "Because it's at 10 o'clock." He is so right. That is too late for me. Maybe if it was closer to the house but to dress up, leave the house at 9:30, drive downtown, find parking, walk in the cold to the restaurant, be out until midnight, walk back to the car while trying to dodge the drunks and then driving home. That is just exhausting. My dad who was over had to interject and put in his 2 cents. "You guys should go. Have fun and live a little." We do - just during earlier hours. "Dad, it's just too late. I was up at 6 am, there is no way I'll make it." "Why were you up at 6 am?" he asked. I was annoyed, "Because that's what time I get up." I don't know what I'm supposed to say. There is no good rhyme or reason why.

We decided we would just have a earlier dinner together and go out for coffee. A date night. Our Saturday was packed with cleaning, grocery shopping, crying kids, a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. We were beat by the time our dinner date rolled around. I walked up to my husband, hair in a pony tail, glasses on, in a turtle neck and jeans and sneakers and said, "Can I just go like this? Would you be offended that I'm not even trying?" He shrugged, "Hell no. I'm going like this." He was in his jean and t-shirt and sneaks too. It was sad, but we were tired.

We decided to go to Outback because we really wanted some cheese fries. Nothing is more wonderful or shame inducing as fried potatoes, covered in a mountain of cheese, dipped in ranch dressing. We walk in and the girl was not very nice. "It will be a 50 minute wait." I took the little plastic buzzer thing and we decided to wait in the car. I figured maybe I could nap or something. haha. We sat in the car looked at each other. "A 50 minute wait? We are going to talk about all of our things and not have anything to talk about at dinner." He agreed. He confessed to me that he has a new obsession with playing Dumb Ways to Die on his phone so that's what we did. We sat next to each other and played Dumb Ways to Die for 45 minutes. It was quiet except for outbursts of, "That damn toaster gets me every time!!!!" Download it. You'll get what I'm saying.

Finally it was time to eat. We sat down and ate like pigs and talked about the kids of course and work and a variety of other boring things. Then we headed back into the cold to Barnes and Noble to get a cup of coffee and browse. We ordered our drinks and wandered the store, aisle by aisle and pointed out all the book that we will never have time to read. I picked up one, "Look honey, Why Men Marry Bitches, I didn't know you wrote a book about me." Then we went to the next aisle and they had health and relationship books and then we saw it. A book - right in the middle - in plain view. Oral Sex for Beginners or something. The cover was a nude woman - full backside facing us with her head in the lap of a naked man. What.the.hell. What kind of store is this? It was in plan view. I was very disturbed. Kids could easily just come by and see it. It was near the front of the store. Now, I may be old fashioned but I'm not a complete prude. I'm not advocating for banning books. I am a big believer in the first amendment. Maybe it's a great book. Maybe it rivals the complete works of Shakespeare, maybe it's saved marriages- but with a cover like that, it does not belong in plain view near other sections that might be frequented by families. I'm going to call the manager. It was outrageous.

After we experienced the shock of that we went to the magazine section. I picked some trashy, escapist magazine and plopped down on the over sized chair and sipped my coffee. My husband did the same. I finished mine first and I set the magazine in my lap. Before I knew it, I had nodded off. I was asleep in the arm chair at Barnes and Noble like a hobo. My hubby nudged me. "C'mon, let's go home." We did and I was glad we had decided not to go out at ten. There is no way that I would have made it.

Baby it's Cold Outside

I really hate the weather this time of year. I have never been a big fan of the cold and we live in the deep South so most of the year is hot, a seemingly perpetual summer. Except for January and February. The weather gets a little psycho. It might be in the 20s-30s at night and get up to 60 during the day. The weather really throws off the kids. They think that they can just go along, business as usual. For example, yesterday by second grader was picking out clothes and she picked out a tank top. It wasn't even a real tank top. It's a tank that goes under another shirt. I looked at her like she had 4 heads. "You cannot wear a tank top. It's 24 degrees outside. She shrugged her shoulders. "IT IS FREAKING FREEZING OUTSIDE. YOU HAVE TO WEAR LONG SLEEVES!!!!!" You would have thought I told her that she had to eat a sh*t sandwich. I mean she freaked out. Threw a boot. Yelled. Accused me of never letting her wear what she wants to wear. I said, "You can wear whatever you want.....as long as it is long sleeved." I left the room. She came back in tights, a short sleeved shirt with a sweater on top. "You have to wear that sweater ALL DAY. You cannot take it off." She nodded, "Okay, mama." Later that morning she received an award for student of the month. I sat in the auditorium and watched my baby get her certificate..... in her short sleeved shirt. She took off that sweater as soon as she got to school. She stood up there with her bare arms, smiling at her father and I. Yes, she won.

My oldest daughter is not much better. She left her winter coat at her friends house this weekend. She is supposed to get it back today. It's a shame that she didn't have her coat today but I am not buying her a new one. I just got her a new pea coat in the end of November. I asked her if she was going to wear her old coat. "No, I'll just wear your North Face jacket." Here we go again. "You need to wear your wool sweater and the North Face fleece, and a scarf, gloves and hat." Of course she gave me a hard time. "I hate that sweater. It's too big." WTH? "I just brought that sweater, you've worn it once." She shrugged, "Maybe I'll wear it next year.  Why do I even try? I did get her to agree to wear a scarf. If she is cold, she made her own decision to be so. I gave her guidance, I handed her the items she would need to bundle up. She chose not to accept my suggestions. I'm not having screaming matches about it. I just wish my kids weren't so strong willed and did everything I said.

The crazy weather has caused us to have a war with the thermostat. My 9 year old has learned how to control the thermostat and takes it upon herself to adjust it. But she doesn't just go up one or two degrees, she will set it at equator temps. One time I came home and it was 86 degrees in the house. What in the world? So my husband's solution is not turning it down to an acceptable temperature. It's turning it off. So my daughter will set it really high and at 7 pm my husband will turn it off. The temp will plunge to the 20's overnight and when I wake up in the morning I can see my breath because it's so cold in the house. It's making me crazy. We had a talk the other day about it because it is under control. "Look, if you're cold- put on a sweater instead of turning the thermostat to 90. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD."

I cannot wait until spring.

Well Checks

               
Yesterday afternoon I took the kids to the pediatrician for their well checks. It was long overdue. I re-scheduled it at least 4 times. We have the crappiest schedules in the universe and something always comes up. I always feel like an A-hole when I call and say, "Something has come up, I'm going to need to re-schedule." The receptionist is probably thinking I'm a horrible parent and not making my kids a priority. Bad Mom Award. In all fairness, I have done the same thing to myself. There was a 3 year stretch when I didn't go to the lady doctor. I worked in women's health, I would get people scheduled for their own annual exams and yet I went 3 years. For no good reason. I had health insurance. I just was really busy and it would skip my mind. It's terrible.

I made sure that I had no prior commitments, I scheduled it for a late Friday afternoon and on we went. I checked in and we waited forever as always. The kids looked at the fish. Then I had to badgered and begged for 1/2 an hour for fish. I reminded them that they had fish and they died in a day and so my 9 year old said that we could buy a real aquarium with a filter and the whole set up. She better save her allowance.

They called us back and hey kids sat on the exam table and I got the interrogation. The lady asked me how many times my 9 year old goes to the bathroom. I looked at her blankly. Does she even go to the bathroom? I turned to my daughter. "Go ahead and answer that question." How do I not know that? A mom, who at one time was OBSESSED with the pooping habits of my own children has no idea. I never even see them go into the bathroom. They are ninjas. They asked me how much milk they drink, if they use their seat belts. If they talk to strangers. What kind of a question is that? Why yes, I often let my kids look for lost puppies with strangers who own conversion vans with no windows.

They took their vitals. My 7 year old had normal blood pressure. My 9 year old failed her hearing test, which I knew she would. She missed 3 frequencies this time and I am concerned that she continues to have hearing loss, She is due to go back to the audiologist soon so we will see. My heart feels heavy about it. They took their height and weight and checked their eyes. Then they handed them paper gowns and told them to get in them.

My 9 year old doesn't change in front of anyone anymore. They started that about 6 or 7 month ago. She told me that I needed to stand in the corner and close my eyes. So I did and I felt like a weirdo. The gowns had red and yellow hand prints on them and my 7 year old asked, "Mom, why do they make us wear dresses with bloody hands?" haha.

The doctor came in then. She is new. We go to a large practice so we've seen 4-5 doctors over the years. It's a revolving door of pediatricians. This new doc was definitely younger than me. "Hi! I'm doctor so-and-so." My mind couldn't reconcile it. It was weird. She was in jeans tucked into knee high boots and a little American Eagle button up. She had a barrette in her hair. She looked like she walked right out of high school. She checked them out and we looked at their growth charts. My 9 year old grew 5 inches in a year. Her height went from the 25th to the 50th percentile. She does seem huge all of a sudden. She is only 5 1/2 inches shorter than I am. I can tell that she is growing because she eats like a horse. One night for her after - dinner snack she was eating peanut butter out of the jar, a large glass of milk, popcorn and 1/2 of a cantaloupe. She is going to be taller than me in 6th grade.

My poor little 7 year old is just going along at the 10th percentile for height and 5th percentile for weight. She's not even to 50 pounds yet. She's a little peanut of a child. We were looking at her charts and she said, "Mama, am I ever going to be big?" I shrugged, "I don't know, baby." I think she is always going to be a tiny person. She hates being the tiniest one. Everyone thinks she's younger than she is. Other kids always are trying to pick her up. She wants so bad to be bigger. I can commiserate.

The 16 year old doctor said we were good to go and we checked out. When we got home the kids asked if they could go play with the neighbors. I agreed. I made dinner in the house alone. My husband came home from work. "Where are the kids?" "Across the street." He gave me a sympathetic look. "You get sad when the kids don't pay attention to you." I nodded. He hugged me. "They are just growing up." That they are.

Toothbrush Problems

We have an issue with toothbrushes in our house. We have way too many of them. There is at least 9 in the kid's bathroom. I buy toothbrushes for the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms because sometimes when we run late, the kids can just brush downstairs and we need some upstairs for before bed. I buy new toothbrushes at least every 2-3 months, I'm try to be pretty legit with the kids oral hygiene. There are at least 6 tooth brushes in our bathroom. I only use 2 of them. One for everyday use and my travel toothbrush.

Anyway, the other day I was getting ready to go out of town and I packed my toothbrush and I threw away my other toothbrush because Santa brought new toothbrushes in our stockings. So I was going to start using that one. I am in the bathroom putting on make-up and my husband walks in and says. "Where is my toothbrush?" "What are you talking about?" "The blue and green toothbrush, where is it?" I stood and looked at him in horror. "That's MY toothbrush. That's my travel toothbrush. I packed it because it's mine. Yours is the red one." He shrugged his shoulders, "Well, it was blue and green so I thought you brought it for me." I would never had known that he used my toothbrush because I always rinse my brush before putting toothpaste on it. It's always wet. Ugggh. He picked up the red toothbrush and began brushing his teeth. I watched as he scrubbed his gums and listened to the whoosh, whoosh of the brush on his teeth. I began to dry heave, I was so grossed out. "I think I'm going to vomit." He was so mad that I was grossed out. "Why are you freaking out? We share everything. My mouth is near your mouth a lot." Okay, we we do swap germs a lot, but still. I said, "We don't share everything. Poop. We don't put each other's poop on each other because that would be disgusting. Kind of like sharing a toothbrush." He rolled his eyes at me and went back to brushing away. I walked out of the bathroom and my 9 year old was standing there giggling. "Mama, why were you talking about putting poop on Daddy?" Those little ease dropping ears are everywhere.

There is no balance at my house, because while we have an excess of toothbrushes, we are missing glasses. All glasses. Any vessel that is glass that one can drink out of, is missing in my house. Now, I purchased a variety of glassware last April. A set of 12 tall glasses and short glasses. I also purchased wine glasses. I pulled them out of the box and lined them up beautifully in my cabinet last spring. It made me happy. They have slowly begun to disappear. It's the ghost. Yesterday we had friends over for dinner and I went to pour drinks and I had just 2 glasses. TWO!!!! They weren't even matching. One was tall and one was short. I was so sad about it. I sat at dinner and drank iced tea out of a mug. True story. God, I wish I was classier. Thank God they don't drink because I literally have not 1 wine glass. They have all disappeared. I would have had to serve it in a Little Mermaid plastic cup. That would be super awkward. I am writing glasses into the next budget, because this is out of control and shameful. One day I would love to find the black hole where all of our stuff disappears into. That would be fantastic.

Fun at the Grocery Store

I often talk about my adventures to the grocery store with the children. That is the most exciting event of my week usually. They are horrible in the grocery store, I don't understand it. They turn into demons. Trips to the grocery store with the kids make me question my will to live. I keep having hope that somehow the children are going to learn to behave in the grocery store. Surely they won't be trying to juggle avocados in the produce section as adults.

This week was especially bad. The sales weren't great, so I knew the amount of money I would need to spend would be soul crushing. Have you purchased sugar lately? My goodness, it's expensive. This stuff better have been harvested by Tinkerbell and her fairy friends in Pixie Hollow for this price. It was sad.

My kids are terrible in the grocery stores in different ways. Of course they both fight with each other equally. My 9 year old just badgers me the whole time. She walks behind me with her arms folded and declares she needs things. "Mom, I need some Nutrigrain bars." "Well, they are $3.75, let's get some Nature's Valley granola bars. They are 1/2 off." She pouts. "But I love NUTRIGRAIN BARS, you are so cheap." The guy looking at the cereal hears her and smirks. She thinks she is insulting me, but I am not insulted. I am cheap and I am not ashamed. My cheapness has allowed me to feed my family and go on fun vacations and pay the electric bill. She can call me cheap all day. I'll wear a shirt that says, "cheapskate" across it. Not hurting my feelings. Then she always tries to get me to buy this Gatorade Mio crap. It's $5 for this Gatorade drink mix junk. She begs me for it all the time. "No, you can drink water." She shoots daggers, "You never get me anything." What a lie. So I gave her a list of all the things I've gotten her in the past week. She grew out of a lot of her clothes so I purchased her 5 tops and a sweater. Not even from Goodwill, from Old Navy. I did shop clearance and I did have a coupon - but still. She stomped her foot down and rolled her eyes. She makes me crazy.

My 7 year old is more physically out of control. She likes to randomly try to jump on the cart while I'm walking, like a train jumper. She waits for the perfect moment and then hops aboard. I almost always run over her foot. Then she told me - out loud- that she wanted to fart on me this week. I wanted to throw a bag of pretzels at her. Then, the icing on the cake was that during check out, she walked over to the ice display and rubbed her butt on the glass. She kind of just stood in front of it and moved her hips back and forth, then she looked me in the eyes and smiled. I gave her this look:
                             
"GET OVER HERE AND STAND NEXT TO ME NOW!" She came over and said, "Mama, that was cold." Lord in heaven.

We got to the car and I turned around and they had fished out a bag of chips out of one of the bags and were eating them. There were chips in the backseat. I sighed, "What is wrong with you kids? You are too old to act like this. You will be punished when we get home." My 9 year old piped up, "If we are so bad at the grocery store, then maybe you should stop taking us." That's when I knew. She revealed their evil plan. They act horrible in the grocery store so I won't take them anymore. They are evil geniuses. It's on. They have completely underestimated the amount of pain and suffering that I am willing to endure.

We got home and unloaded the groceries and I regaled my husband with tales from edge of hell aka the grocery store with the children. He shrugged, "Stop taking them to the grocery store." I looked him dead in the eye. "No. I'm not going to let them win." I then proceed to eat an entire pint of Haagen Dazs. It made me feel better. Plus it was half off and I had a coupon, so that made it taste even better.

I am gearing up to put on my game face for this weekend. Mom vs. Kids, taking place at Publix this Saturday at 2 pm. It's on. It's on like Donkey Kong.

Goodbye 20's

               

I'm turning 30. SOON. I'm little freaked out by it. Not because I think 30 is old or anything. I just think it's strange that I should be 30. It somehow doesn't seem possible. The problem with turning 30 is that I feel a lot of pressure to have fun and do something epic on my birthday. Really, I think my husband feels the pressure. We were going to go on a cruise but I don't have enough vacation time and I have been getting hospital bills for like, thousands of dollars and I'm going to have to pay the IRS all the rest of our money soon - so that's been postponed. That last sentence is very 30 year old-like. So my husband said, "What do you want to do for your birthday?" I don't know. I have a conference to go to that day. I don't want to go out drinking, because I don't drink. I don't need to go to a fancy restaurant. We go to fancy restaurants plenty throughout the year. I want to come home and put on my PJs and eat hoagies and play board games with him and the kids. I love games, I love the kids, and I love hoagies and being in my PJs. That seems perfect. "What about cake?" he asked. We host dinner on Sundays for my family so I said that we could just have cake then. "What kind of cake? " "A Publix cake. With something outrageous on it. Like a shirtless Fabio riding on a unicorn and a funny saying. Something absurd." It seems like my life is a little absurd at times, so it's perfect.


I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately. Turning 30 is making me survey where I have been, where I am now and where I think I'm going. I think my 30's will be WAY better than my 20's. The 20's were great, they were fun but I am in such a different place now than I was then. When I was turning 20, I felt like so unsure of myself. I had so much to prove. I set myself to these really unrealistic high standards and that was especially true in my 20's. I needed to finish college, which was no easy feat when I gave birth to babies in my sophomore and senior years. I needed to get a good job, professional certifications, be a perfect wife and mother. There was soooo much pressure. I worked incredibly hard. I always felt like I had to work harder than everyone else. I should have given myself more credit, been more flexible. There were many times that I thought that my life was a lesson in disappointment and loss. In some aspects it has been, but the older I'm getting, the more I realize that this is the case for almost everyone. No one is exempt from it. That it's okay. There are many positive aspects of personality that developed as a direct result of some of the bad or hard parts of my life. I have much more peace now than I ever have because I have enough history to look back and know that everything happens for a reason. That life goes on. That even though I think I'm in control, there are a lot of things that I can't. There are things and people that I cannot change and that's okay. I don't feel the pressure anymore. I like who I am and the life that I've built. I feel very settled into life, into my marriage, as a mom. My life certainly isn't perfect, but it is fun and sometimes it's very absurd. It's full of people that I love and respect. I am very happy. I'm extremely pleased with how things have turned out and GRATEFUL.

I'm sure my 30's hold a lot of surprises.

Physical changes. I woke up the other morning and went to brush my teeth and I noticed lines on my chest and my face and I laughed and said, "Oh, this is what my parents were talking about." They used to joke about having to learn to sleep on their backs to help with aging because they claimed their faces looked older in the morning. My dad is especially funny about this "It takes a few hours to get my regular face back." I will try to learn to sleep on my back. I'm going to need a adult sized baby wedge.

            
                                 
Grey hair. I expect that in my 30's. I don't have any yet. It will be a rite of passage. I remember when we discovered my husband's first grey hair in his beard shortly before his 30th birthday. It was so funny. I called the kids over and stared at it in awe, like we had just discovered Stonehenge. It will be amusing for sure. I will probably get my first grey after posting this, with my luck. That's okay though. My baby brother already has lots of grey, so I have a while to catch up to him.

According to women's health, I may begin to experience some degree of urinary incontinence in my 30's. That sounds enjoyable. I love the idea of peeing a little when I sneeze.
                              

BUT, in spite of all of that, they say a woman's sexual peak is in her 30's.

Holla! Which might be good, except for the fact that I have children that get up early, don't nap, and have the ability to stay up later than I do. They are always around and awake. It kind of cramps our style. I'm going to need to get more babysitters. Then I will put on a nightie and say, "Not only am I a tad bit wrinkly, I also have 3 grey hairs and sometimes, for no reason, I pee my pants a little. Lets get it on!" I don't know about you, but I think that's HOT!

I am going to try to live in the moment and really enjoy my children. My children, who during my 30's will become adults. This makes me excited and sad all at once. When I am 35, I will have not one but TWO teenage daughters! Lord give me strength. Ten years from today, my kids will be 19 and 17. My kids will be pretty much grown. It's hard for me to imagine and think about. So I won't. I am going to focus on the NOW. So sayonara 20's, 30's - watch out! Here I come!

England and Things that Go Bump In the Night

                   
The other night we were hanging out, sitting on the couch, watching a movie and we heard this big crashing sound. It sounded like it came from upstairs, so my husband went to investigate and I looked around downstairs. We could not find the source of this crashing sound so we shrugged it off and watched the rest of the movie.

Afterwards, it was time for bed and my 7 year old asked if I could lay with her. I indulged her. I love our little convos before bed. We laid down and I looked up and the 5 boys from One Direction were staring at us. She got this One Direction poster for Christmas and it looks like their eyes follow you no matter where you are in the room, which is very creepy. I was putting clothes away in there the other day and I was a little perturbed by it. You can stop staring at me, Louis. I know I am very irresistible but you are much too young and I am married - we can never be together. I entertain myself.

So we are laying in bed and my 7 year old is telling me how she had a "rough day." As if she was digging ditches all weekend or something. She's dramatic. Then we has this conversation:

Daughter: "Mom, I'm having a hard time deciding if I should have a quinceanera or a Sweet 16 party?"
                          * She is planning 9 years ahead of time, way to put the pressure on*
Me: "Maybe we can go on a trip, instead of a party."
D: "Maybe we can have a party AND go on a trip."
M: "We'll see if we have any money then."
D: "Can we go to where One Direction lives?"
M: "I think they live in England."
D: "Uggh - I would never want to go to England."
      * She said at like she had a personal vendetta against England, it was confusing*
M: "Why?"
D: "You know, we don't speak the same language."
M: "What language do you think they speak?"
D: "British."

Oh my goodness, I lost my mind. I laughed so hard. She got all bent out of shape. "Why are you laughing at me?" "Sweetie, in England they speak English. They invented the English language, pretty much." She was so upset. "You can't expect me to know everything, I'm only 7!"

That's when we heard it - CRASH! My daughter sat upright and my husband came in along with our oldest. "What the hell is that?" It sounded like it came from above us. "Maybe it's the attic, I put some boxes up there yesterday." He was not happy. "Why would you do that?" "Ummm...because we need a place to store stuff." "It's not safe up there." I rolled my eyes. "Why don't you go up there and see what it is?" He was not keen on that idea. "What if it's an animal? What if something is up there and knocked down the boxes?" "What kind of animal do you think is up there knocking down boxes of books?" He shrugged, " I don't know, a bat." I laughed. "A bat did not knock over a 30 pound box of books." He then proceeded to create scenarios where a bat could potentially knock over a large box of books. "Maybe batMAN is up there knocking over books, but not a bat. Just go see." He was not going up there. Finally, I said, "That's fine. I'll go up there. Just open the hatch, because I'm too short to reach it." He pulled the cord and pulled down the ladder. I got ready to go up but he said, "No, I'll go up. I'm not going to let you go up there with bats." He ascended the ladder, annoyed, and I think a little bit afraid. I stood at the top and looked around. That wasn't it. We checked the closets, then he went down stairs and discovered a picture had fallen off the wall. Mystery solved.

It was a very eventful evening. I now realize that my husband has an irrational fear of bats. I need to do something with that information. I see a bat-prank in our future.