When you are getting ready to have your first child, people tell you how amazing it is and how much you are going to love them. You think, "Of course, I'm going to love them-they are my child." But when they are born you understand what they meant. Parents love their children but not in the same way that they knew love before. Think about the person or thing that you love the most and multiply that by a million. We love our children with a fierceness that is almost hard to explain. We make huge sacrifices for our children and are glad to do it. It is in our core being to ensure that they survive and thrive. Because children are so much more than little beings that we feed and care for. They are everything. They become our entire world and more.
It is often said that to have a child is to have your heart walk around outside your body. There has never been a truer statement said. We pour our hopes and dreams into our children and their hopes and dreams become our own. We share in their disappointments. We wipe tears and we celebrate achievements (no matter how big or small). We build our life around them. Our children are a reflection of our future. I imagine high school prom and graduation. Packing them up to go to college. My husband walking them down the aisle. Seeing the joy in their faces when one day they have children of their own. No matter what I do in life, my daughters will always be my biggest achievements. I could cure cancer and it wouldn't pale in comparison to making 2 amazing human beings. Our children are our lives.
I feel so affected by the recent tragedy in Connecticut. If it had been adults I would have been sad but not like I have been feeling. Since I have become a parent I have been much more affected by things like this. When something bad happens to a child - for a moment- that child becomes my child. It is a very powerful feeling. A feeling of sadness and fear so deep inside of you that it shakes your core. It could have been my children, or yours or any of the millions of children that went to school yesterday. You wonder what it would be like, not just your child taken from you...but your hopes and dreams and future. It is almost an unimaginable proposition. It is a reminder that our children are really ours - they are lent to us and that tomorrow is not a promise.
To be given a child is a gift and a huge responsibility. We need to hold our children tighter and tell them that we love them everyday. We need to give them praise and build them up because the world and life will tear them down. We need to raise children that are connected to the world and to others. Who will grow up to do no harm and make their world a better place. I believe that is the calling of all parents.
A lady I used to work with had this posted on her desk and it holds so much meaning today:
To my child . . . . .
Just for this morning . . . . .
I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning . . . . .
I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning . . . . .
I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning . . . . .
I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I will take us to Mc Donald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening . . . . .
I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening . . . . .
I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening . . . . .
I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening . . . . .
I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening . . . .
When I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given. I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside they can't handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.
It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day
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