Veteran's Day

                                
My husband left for ARMY basic training 13 days before 9/11. There were no phone calls home. Only letters that trickled in every few days. The world was a dreary place without him in it. His absence was unbearable, a crushing weight on my chest every day. I counted the months until we could be together again. That hope, that light at the end of the tunnel is what kept me going.

At the first opportunity, I packed up my things and drove cross country to Fort Sill, Oklahoma. We were together again. I couldn't have been happier. Life as an ARMY wife was new and exciting. It was this different world that I never knew existed.

The Iraq War started 9 months into our marriage. We knew it was coming for months. The sound of artillery boomed through the day and night, shaking the glass in the window panes. In the early mornings we could see the units in formation; they would be deploying soon.

There were talks of his unit deploying. It seemed unlikely, he worked in finance but they did field training to keep their combat skills fresh. His rucksack and kevlar sat in our hall closet, waiting to be used. I was afraid. The idea of him going off to this new war terrified me.

One night as we laid in bed, I curled up into him and listened to the artillery shells being fired. "Do you think you'll be deployed?" I asked.
"I don't know."
"But what if you do?"
"Then I'll go." He said it with such nonchalance that I was taken back.
"But you could die."
"I know."
"What do you mean? What about me?"
"I love you but if the ARMY tells me that I have to go-then I'll go and if I die then it will be okay. It will be for a good cause. I knew this when I signed up. I made a commitment."

I hated him for feeling that way. I resented the ARMY too. He made a commitment to ME. I couldn't bear the thought of losing him again. I was 19 and I needed him with me. I didn't understand.

I worked at a Subway right outside the gate to Fort Sill that summer. One afternoon I was at work enjoying the peace and quiet after the lunch rush. There was a nursing home and a dry cleaner right across the street and I saw people starting to gather along the street in front of the nursing home. They were in wheel chairs and some had pulled out folding chairs. Our parking lot soon filled with cars and people got up and stood along the road. Some held signs.

I left my post behind the counter to go outside and find out what was going on. I asked a woman and she told me that one of the units was coming home. I stood out on the sidewalk, the hot Oklahoma sun shone down as I watched and waited with the group.

Before long, buses began to pass by. There were camouflaged arms hanging from the windows. Their hands waving as the crowd that lined the streets clapped and whistled. On the other side of the road, an old man in a wheel chair had raised his hand in a full salute.

In that moment, I understood. My husband was part of something that was bigger than I was. He believed in this country, in this brothers who served. I wiped a tear from my eye. My heart swelled with pride. I've carried that moment with me ever since.

My husband got out of the ARMY just a few months later. He was spared a deployment to Iraq. He transitioned back into the civilian world very easily. Soon his time in the military seemed like a distant memory. When people find out that he served they always thank him for his service. He used to hate it. I asked him once why it makes him uncomfortable. "I didn't really do anything. I didn't have to go overseas or anything...."

He felt like he is not deserving when many have given their lives, have come back injured, have seen war and it's atrocities. God had different plans for him but I tell him that he IS deserving. He was willing to go. If he would have gotten the call he would have given his life for this country. How many people can say that? He is brave and honorable. He has gotten much better about it. Now when people thank him he smiles and says a soft "thank you" in response. He is humble and I respect him so much.

Happy Veteran's Day to all who served - especially my own veteran who showed me what it means to live with a patriotic spirit. I love you!