Do Your Homework

                                  
I haven't updated in a while. My laptop freaking broke. I hate using my desktop computer. I'm like, I only write on my laptop, in bed, with a mug of coffee next to me on the beside table. I'm such an uppity bitch. My new one should come today so I can be legit again.

The homework is starting to get real in this house. This is week 2. Monday, Tuesdays and Thursdays are hard because both kids don't get home until a quarter after 7. Then it's get changed, have dinner, homework, read and bed. They didn't settle in to do homework until almost 8 pm on Monday. 

My oldest was done her homework awfully quick. "You finished your homework already?" 
"Yes."
"What did you have?"
"Math and science but I couldn't do my science because I left my notes at school."
"Let me see your science."
She rolled her eyes at me and reluctantly presented her science sheet. It was definitions and they had to match the scientist to their contributions.
"Why do you need your science notebook for this?"
"It has the answers in it."

My child was holding her iphone in her hand when she said it. I held it up. "Do you see this? It has the internet. The internet has all the answers. We can watch a 20 minute video about the contributions of Leeuwenhoek right now." I handed her a dictionary. "Definitions - look them up!" 

My child is smart, she is resourceful, she was just being lazy. She shot me a dirty look and she got to work, My husband chimed in, "If I find out that homework isn't being done, I will call your teachers and tell them to give you silent lunch everyday of your life."

I had to chuckle, hearing this from my husband. The guy who never did homework. Like, NEVER. Not until college. I remember being a junior in high school and walking down the hallway between classes one day. A teacher approached me, "You are C-man's girlfriend, aren't you?" Shit! She caught us making out behind the D-hall staircase. I'm about to be given a detention. "Yes," I replied, waiting to be reprimanded. "You are in the honor society, right?" I wasn't sure what she was getting at but I nodded. "Maybe you could encourage your boyfriend to start turning in his homework. He needs to pass my class." I was like, "Okay."

I always did my homework at his house after school (if I wasn't working). He would play video games. That day I told him about how his teacher approached me in the hallway. "You should do your homework with me." He laughed, "No, I'm not." I protested, "I'm not going to make out with you then." He raised an eyebrow, "Yes, you will."

That is one of the things that I loved about him. He just did what he wanted to do. He decided to join the ARMY and didn't talk to anyone about it. He didn't consult his parents. He just went and signed on the line, I was fascinated by him. He could just decide to not do his homework and it didn't eat him up inside. If he didn't like something, he said so. If he wanted to do something, he just did it. There was no self-doubt or second guessing. He was so laid back and saw life so much differently than I did.

He would do things like show up at my house with no warning and declare that we were going to the beach, or driving to a mall 2 hours away. To hell with planning anything. He was the part of me that I was missing. He made me feel alive, I saw so much potential in him.

And here we are, 15 years later with a almost-teenager of our own and he is on her like white-on-rice about her homework. It's amazing how much time and experience can change us.

Our youngest is more like me when it comes to homework. She's been pretty easy. She has been driving me crazy about one thing though - summer sausage, That's right, you read that correctly....f**king summer sausage.
                                                
She came home last week and said, "We were talking about food at lunch and someone brought up summer sausage. I love summer sausage. Can we get some soon?"
"I mean...I guess."
That is how you respond to my 10 year old. You kind of just put her off. You never say, "no" directly. That shit will lead to a world of pain that I'm just too tired to deal with.

Everyday, I've been hearing about summer sausage. Summer sausage is not a food that you just randomly buy. Summer sausage is a Christmas Day kind of food.

Last night I was laying with her in bed and she was going through how the following day would go. "I'm going to wake myself up in the morning because you have to take dad to the airport. Then, I'm going to go to school. Then, we are going to see the orthopedist and then we are going to go to the supermarket and get sushi and summer sausage."
"What?"
She repeated herself, "Then we are going to go to the supermarket and get sushi and summer sausage."
"We are?"
"Yes. You PROMISED. Mom - summer is almost over and then the summer sausage will be GONE."

               
I did not promise. Maybe we had a conversation in her head where I agreed to this. She stared off into space, "Yes. We can also buy some cheese and crackers to go with the summer sausage and put it on a platter and gather around it and eat it." I'm not kidding you, she said gather around the summer sausage.

She is not a normal 10 year old. She is like a 42 year old woman. Bless her little old soul.

This morning she was packing sandals in her book bag and explained to me, "I'm wearing Converse to school but I'm going to put on my sandals when we go to the store to get the summer sausage." This is an event. It requires a change of shoes.

So tonight, you will find me with my 5th grader, gathered around a platter of summer sausage. Because that's how we roll.