The Chaos

I'm tired as hell. This is not new. I've been tired for like, 14 years straight but I've been especially tired lately.

Last week was nutty. My husband was out of town all week and I picked him up at the airport late on Friday night. The weekend was jam-packed. We were planning to divide and conquer. My youngest had a gymnastics competition 3.5 hours away and my oldest was dancing at the fair.

I woke up early on Saturday morning because I had a list of a thousand things to do before I had to leave. Typical. The house was quiet. I went downstairs and fixed myself a cup of coffee and some oatmeal. I ate and then sat on the couch to drink my coffee and read the news. It's my daily routine. I need that 20 minutes in the morning.

My husband came downstairs shortly after and joined me on the couch. He wanted to chatter about his week and whatever else. No. Just not now. I gave him the "look" and told him that right now I needed some peace.
"You are being annoying today," he said.
"No I'm not. I'm just trying to drink my coffee in peace," I replied.
"Yeah, but you're not paying attention to me," he joked. It was only a half-joke. He did want me to pay attention to him.

I need my space. It's because I'm an Aquarius. I blame all of my terrible personality traits on being an Aquarius. Emotionally unavailable? It's because I'm an Aquarius. Never call you back? Aquarius. Grumpy? Aquarius.
                            
                                       We are the worst.....along with Aries and Scorpio.

He settled for sitting quietly next to me. My kids came rolling downstairs at 7:30 am. On a Saturday. Why?!?!?! They could have slept, it is unlike them. "What's for breakfast?" they asked. "Whatever you make yourself," I said. I was annoyed. I didn't want to see them until I finished my coffee.

I got up and straightened the living room. Then I went into the kitchen to pack lunch for the drive to Greenville. I'm in the kitchen, peeling clementines and making sandwiches and listening to the radio when all hell breaks loose.

My oldest decides she is going to play the flute LOUDLY in the adjoining dining room, the dog sees a car drive by and is barking and running in a circle around the house, the cat is at my ankles meowing for a treat, my youngest is like, "Mom, mom, mom....." and trying to get my attention, and my husband is standing there trying to talk politics to me, there are dishes piled in the sink because my damn dishwasher broke last week....I was like

                   
This is what my life is like. This is why I need my 20 minutes with my coffee every morning because my days are literal shit shows. Don't get me wrong, I have a good life and I enjoy it but it is mass chaos. It is dirty dishes, laundry, carpools, demanding pets and hormonal daughters and a traveling husband. It's just pure insanity at all times.

I handled one thing at a time. I validated my husband and gave my political opinion, I assured my daughter I would mend her warm-up pants before we left, I offered feedback to my flute-playing daughter, I gave the cat some treats and let the dog out. Then, I kicked everyone out of the kitchen and started the dishes and finished packing lunch. That is what moms do. We multi-task.

I gave specific directions to my husband for the dancing event at the fair. I set out her costume, got the tickets ready, gave them cash. I tried to make it easy. My husband is an IT person. He doesn't like to be surprised, he likes a timeline and directions, he wants to know what to expect, hates surprises. It's probably because he is an asshole Scorpio.

I headed out the door and we made the journey to the gymnastics competition. It was a long drive but nice. I had her teammate and mom with me, which helped the time pass. I was in the stands watching my daughter compete, and my phone starts blowing up. My husband was losing his ever-loving mind.

My daughter convinced him to pick up her friend and take him to the fair too. He did, not a problem. Well, she had to go dance and this teenage boy was just stuck hanging out with my husband and brother. After she danced, she wanted to go on some rides and meet up with some other friends. Still not a problem.

He wants to leave and my daughter tells him that he is the only adult there. She told her friends that her dad and uncle would be there to chaperone them. It all sounded sketch to me. "If you want to leave, just leave."
"And leave all these other kids here unsupervised?" he asked. He's such a dad.
"Ummm. Yes. You never agreed to supervise anyone else's kid. No parents spoke with you. It is not your responsibility. You are responsible for our kid and the kid you picked up but not the others. If they wanted you to watch their kid then they should have reached out to you."
"This is bullshit. I'm taking the little one ALWAYS. EVERY TIME from now on."

This was not in the plan, he stayed later than expected, he was totally triggered. It was the funniest. I'm glad he got stuck at the fair. I hate the fair. I refuse to go. Someone threw up on a ride that spins in the air and it rained vomit on me and the kids one year. The food is gross. It's dirty as hell and I want to scrub myself. I don't trust rides that were put together a week ago. The traffic is terrible. The fair does not bring me joy. I know I sound snobby and people love the fair but I despise it. I'm so glad it's over.

I got to watch my baby compete. She placed third overall. I was so proud. She is a hard worker.

This week has been a hot mess. The kids have had a million activities. I've written like 20 checks which I'm pissed about. My dishwasher is costing $220 to repair. There have been field trips and band fundraisers and dance costumes.....We had to pay to replace my youngest daughter's passport because the dog ate it. Christmas is next month. Thankfully my shopping for the kids is pretty much done. Yesterday my oldest tried to add something to her list and I was like, "No. Christmas is not magic anymore. You get what you get." Aquarius.

Well, I have to go. I have a never ending list things to do- as usual.

P.S. My daughter just informed me that the dog pooped on the living room rug while I wrote this. I'm wasn't kidding when I said my life was a literal shit show. LOL