This is 34

I had a birthday yesterday, I'm 34. Which is young - youngISH. A few days ago my husband said, "Damn! How's it feel to be turning 35?" I was like,
                 
"Don't be adding years to me." He always does that. That man doesn't even know how old he is.

People were like, "What are you doing for your birthday?"
"Nothing." It was on a Wednesday, I'm not Oprah so life went on. My husband had to work, the kids had school, I had dentist appointment and kids to drop off and pick up in the afternoon. I DID make myself cupcakes though and I brought myself presents - so that is birthday-ish.

I woke up that morning and my husband wanted to make me breakfast. I have some stomach issues going on (that's needs it's own blog) so I begged for a bowl of oatmeal. Eggs and bacon would have just been too much. He looked disappointed but he obliged. He made his own lunch and my daughter's lunch so I could just sit and enjoy my coffee. That was awesome.

I did the dishes and a load of laundry and then got ready for my dentist appointment. My youngest was doing a lesson when I left and I went over her assignments. I was sitting at the dentist's office and they were running behind. Then my phone starts blowing up. My youngest finished her lesson and asked to go to her friend's house around the corner (who is also home schooled), my oldest was having a nervous breakdown about whatever the current crisis of the day was, my friend was texting me about the vape-bust that was going on at school. My youngest did not text me when she got to her friend's house and I started panicking that she got abducted.....

Just a typical day. The appointment ran so long. I sat in the leather dentist chair FOREVER. Like, an hour and a half. I was low-key annoyed. At the end of the appointment, I chatted with the dentist. I stood up and there was a huge sweat imprint of my butt on the chair. I was mortified. Then we both kept talking and pretended not to see it, even though we both did and it was super awkward. Polyester leggings and leather chairs don't mix, apparently.
                 
After that, I confirmed that kid #2 actually did get to her friends house and not a windowless van and I agreed to have lunch with my oldest. She had gotten over her current crisis, so that was good. We had lunch together and I have her my usual "you-will-get-through-this" pep talk. Then I swung by and got lunch for kid #2. I picked her up and supervised some of her lessons. Then the dog shit in the living room and I picked that up.

Then I went back to the school to pick up my kid (and some other band kids), dropped off my other at gymnastics, came home and made tacos for the band kids. My girlfriend dropped by with some brownies and a card. LOVE her, she is so sweet.

Then, I dropped off the band kids at a clinic which we ran late to. The GPS led me to the wrong entrance. One of the kids was like, "We have to go in right there. Just drive through the field." I looked both ways, didn't see anyone and thought, F*ck it! YOLO. I drove through the field, onto the basketball courts and got them there with one minute to spare. My daughter was just shaking her head. This is who I am.

Then I drove home so I could have 25 minutes alone with my husband before he had to do the gymnastics pick up. It was- by far- the best part of my day.

                 
Then I went BACK to pick up the band kids (I did not drive through the field this time), dropped them off at their respective homes, and then went home and ate a cupcake and opened the gifts I got myself.

I held them up to my husband, "Ohhhhh.....look what you got me." Nothing exciting - a ceramic travel mug, some games. Stuff I wanted.

I was asleep by 9:30. Which, to be honest, is past my bedtime.

So, that was my birthday. It was simply a day in my life. It was a fine day. Don't feel bad for me though - I'm having dinner with my co-workers tonight, I'm having girls night on Friday, and my husband and I are going out with friends sans kids on Saturday. I'll be living it up.

I am at a good time in my life. It's been a good life. I have been so lucky. I have done so many amazing things, met so many amazing people, I've watched my marriage and children grow. I'm still young - 34 years old. There are still so many things I want to do. I am still figuring out this life. I always joke to the kids that I wish I could be their age again because I knew EVERYTHING.

Even though I feel like I don't know anything at all and that I'm basically just floating through life -winging it- there are some things that, after 34 years, I know for sure:

1. You'll be much happier if you are your authentic self. We care too often what other people think about us, but the truth of the matter is, that they probably aren't thinking about us at all.

2. Don't waste your time with jealously. There will always be people above you and below you. Celebrate other's success and good fortune because when it is your turn, you'll want others to celebrate with you.

3. Practice gratitude. No matter how much or how little you have. You can always find something to be thankful for. Just waking up in the morning is a gift.

4. Trust that GOD has a plan. I am not super religious and I'm not going to get preachy but I believe this strongly. GOD has a plan-it might not be your plan, but there is a plan for your life. Pray and have faith.

5. Be flexible. Make plans but know that they are only that. You might miss your connecting flight, you might get sick, your spouse might cheat, you might leave an unintentional butt sweat imprint on the dentist chair. Sometimes things don't go as planned and you have to be willing to accept the things you can't change, do what you can to find solutions and move forward. When in doubt, refer to #4.

6. Remember that most human beings carry baggage around with them. Most of us feel damaged and broken. Most people struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Most people feel like everyone else is doing a better job at life than they are. As much as possible, be gentle with others. What we all desire most of all is to be loved, valued and accepted.

7. People will come in and out of your life. Friends will come and go, people will die, love will be lost, your children will grow up. Every person you meet will touch you and will teach you lessons (good and bad). Find relationships that feed your soul and create boundaries and distance with relationships that are harmful to your mental health. Try to find your people. If you are in a room full of people and you still feel lonely-RUN. You will know your people when you find them. You'll get that warm feeling, like coming home.

8. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes, we all say things that we wish we didn't, we all have things that we aren't proud of. It's okay to be flawed. Try to be the best person you can be but don't beat yourself up too much. The best thing about life is that every day you get a new chance to try again.

9. Life is not a competition. It's not a checklist of achievements and milestones. Find what makes you happy and do THAT. Trust that life will unfold as it should. Listen to your heart and intuition and let them guide you. 


10. Look for the beauty. There are so many wonderful things all around us and our lives get so busy sometimes that we forget to LIVE. Savor the smell of coffee in the morning, the feeling of your husband's arms around you, the sound of your children's laughs, cotton candy clouds at sunset.... If you are still for a moment and take the time to look around you, you'll see that there is so much beauty in the world.

Maybe in 50 more years I'll have a list of 20. I'm going to get a tee-shirt that says: I'm Wise and Shit. Maybe I'll feel grown up by then. Regardless, I'm going to keep smiling, keep laughing, and enjoy this wonderful, crazy, beautiful life of mine.