Hurricanes

It's September, which means it's hurricane time in South Carolina. This is the 5th year we have been waiting on a storm. I'm not worrying so much about it, I just want to know what's going to happen. I'm a planner and I need to know. They always evacuate us, we are so close to the coast. If it even looks like there is a POSSIBILITY that it is coming anywhere near us, they issue an order. They have already started distributing sandbags.

We will evacuate if they issue an order to do so. I have a few potential cabins picked out in the mountains. I kind of like the idea of sitting in a hot tub in the mountains mid-week but my bank account really has been pummeled the past few months with back-to-school and birthdays and car repairs and Christmas is coming up. I'm not super keen on it but it will be what it will be.

I'm not worried about the house. People are always like, be careful for looters. I would feel bad if looters showed up at my house. They would be pissed, they would walk in and be like:
                        
I have a TV I brought for $250 four years ago. There's a bunch of Dollar Store shit. I have some costume jewelry. Let's face it - I don't have nice things. Also, I'm a minimalist so I don't really have things at all. I like the idea of having nice things but I don't like spending money on anything so......

This week was kind of wacky. My kids had the back-to-school crud. My husband picked my youngest up from school sick on Monday and she was home on Tuesday with a stomach ache and low-grade fever.

On Wednesday, she went back to school and I thought our routine would go back to normal. Then, I get a call from the school that there was a threat at the high school and school was delayed. There were cops all over the school, a helicopter flying overhead - it was a full response. They delayed school by 2 hours so I wound up with a bunch of kids at my house in the morning just hanging out.

Then this boy showed up to take my daughter to school. I knew he was going to come pick her up but I didn't realize that he was going to come into my house. It was 10 am and I was sitting in my bathrobe on the couch, eating a whole plate of bread pudding (I'm not sure if I'm living my best life or if I've given up on life).

He came in and sat down - huge child, like 6'3. I asked a million questions. He seemed nice enough. I don't know the whole back story of their friendship yet. Working on that. After a while,they left for school. I hugged my daughter, "Be safe, okay?" I told her. She nodded, "Okay." Then she got into the truck and left, with the man-boy. *sigh*

The rest of the week was a blur. She got sick on Thursday, they both performed at the football game on Friday. It's that time of year again. On Saturday morning my husband was being super extra and was like, "I'm going to take down the canopy in the back yard and pack up all the lawn furniture." I hated it. I just wanted to lay on the couch, so that's what I did.

Now, we wait. I don't know what it is, but I feel uneasy. It's not the storm necessarily, but everything. Maybe it's the fact that things are moving too quickly for me, that things are changing so much, or that I'm feeling a little panicked that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, or that my existential crisis is becoming a little more crisis-y. I've been waking up at 4:40 every morning the past few weeks feeling weird. I feel UNCOMFORTABLE. I need to shift, something needs to change  but I can't put my finger on what exactly. I'm in a bit of a funk. I think a few days away would be good for me. I think I need to be still and listen.