Hurrication

I've been meaning to write about our Hurrication. It was almost 2 months ago, but things have been a TAD busy around here. So, better late then never, I guess. As you will recall, they called for evacuations where we live ahead of Hurricane Dorian. I have been wanting to go back to Helen, GA for years. We were there around Christmas time about 6 years ago and we loved the charm of the place. It's like a little German village in the Georgia mountains.
 
I found a quaint little cabin about 15 minutes from downtown. It was very reasonable, pet-friendly, AND had a hot tub on the back porch. I was ALL about it. I needed to break.

We got to work getting the house together. We gathered our lawn furniture, plants, and outdoor decorations and put them in the garage. We took down the tent in our back yard and packed our bags. The kids asked if their friend, Frenchie could tag along and we agreed. The next morning, we loaded the dog and Jeff into my husband's car.  My youngest had decided to ride with him. I took my oldest, Frenchie and the kitten. We caravaned up to Georgia.

We were in the car for about an hour and my husband called me. "This goddamned cat will not stop crying!" he exclaimed. I could hear Jeff in the background. "MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!" at the top of his lungs. He was NOT happy to be in that cage. "Listen, we'll stop in Columbia to have lunch and we'll switch cats," I reassured him. Leo was fine, happy as a clam, and had fallen asleep.

We decided to stop at Taco Bell because we were feigning for some Tacos Locos. My husband went to the drive-through but it didn't look like it was moving, so I decided that we were going to go in. We went into the Taco Bell to order and it was pretty busy. We ordered on the touch screen and waited. And waited and waited. After a while, this lady comes from the back (looking rough) and she went to the door and locked it. Then she announced to everyone, "Don't let anyone in. We aren't taking any more customers." We were super confused.
              
It was 12:45 pm on a weekday at Taco Bell. What in the devil is happening?

I would have left if I hadn't already paid. We kept waiting. People were walking up to the door and it was locked. They looked longingly inside and were trying to get the customers inside to let them in but we all were like, "Sorry - that lady said no more customers." Then the people walked away sad. All they wanted was a Crunch Wrap Supreme. It was bananas.

After we got our food, we went to the outdoor seating area to eat and we met up with my husband and youngest who had given up on the drive-through and went to the Zaxbys across the street instead. It was worth it. Those shredded chicken tacos on Dorito shells are THE BOMB.

After, we swapped cats and headed out. Jeff cried, and cried, and cried. We tried to ignore him and just listen to music. "Life Itself" by Glass Animals came on and we were all singing along. The cat stopped. The song ended, and the cat started crying again. Frenchie said, "I think Jeffy likes that song, put it on again." Sure enough, the moment the song came on, he stopped. We laughed so hard. We listened to that song on repeat until he fell asleep.

Before long, the straight roads began to wind into the mountains. We were in the middle of nowhere. There was a random Dollar General and I went in to grab a few groceries we would need. I had just gone grocery shopping so we packed COOLERS of food. I only spent $17 on groceries. I was so proud.

After a 5 hour drive, we finally pulled into the driveway of the cabin. It was at the top of the hill. I was not 100% sure my car was going to make it up. It was in the middle of nowhere. We dragged our tired bodies from the car and opened the door. It was the cutest little cabin.

It was all bear-and-pine-tree motif with a weathered leather couch and a large, stone fireplace. It was everything you could want from a cabin. My husband hauled in all of our things (and the animals) and then pulled up his laptop to do some work. The kids unpacked their things and then played billiards. I got to work in the kitchen. I made this bomb-ass shrimp skillet and pink lemonade. I baked cookies for dessert. 

Before long, everything was put up, the animals were adjusted and we were sitting down to eat dinner. We exhaled. We talked about our plans for the next few days and joked around. After dinner, the kids got into their swimsuits as I did the dishes and I joined them on the back porch in the hot tub. 

My kids are so funny. They are such rule followers. They read the instructions. "It says if you are under 18, you should only be in the hot tub for 20 minutes." So they set an alarm for 20 minutes and the minute it went off, they were out of there. "You're not going to die if you stay in for just another minute," I said. "I'm not going to risk it," my youngest replied. 

The kids showered and my husband and I walked the dog. We ventured down the hill and admired this chalet that was for sale. It was only $340,000. "Don't get any ideas," I said. Besides, it was much too big. I did fantasize for a minute about life in the middle of nowhere. 

The next morning the kids slept in and we got up and had coffee on the back porch and worked. The kids trickled in and fixed themselves breakfast and got dressed. We decided to have lunch downtown and then my husband was going to head back to work (boo!) while we shopped and explored. 

I freaking LOVE German food. We got a pretzel with beer cheese and I had a brat with saurkraut and spicy mustard. It was the best thing ever. We bid my husband adieu and went off to window shop. They had a ton of cute mom and pop shops and we spent the afternoon browsing - smelling handmade candles and admiring the trinkets. We decided that we wanted to do Old Time photos. Frenchie wasn't down for the idea but my girls were. 

We were the only ones there and the photographer seemed excited for us to come in. He was like, "I have a vision...." He had us pick a background and then picked our dresses. My girls got the cutest dresses with fringe. He gave me the most matronly dress. It was made out of a curtain. I should have said something, but he was so excited. Listen, just because I'm a mom, doesn't mean I don't want to be a sexy bank robber. He put us in all the different poses. "Okay, you hold the money bags and now, you girls point the guns at your mom and give her a look that says, 'Give me that money." That was easy for them. They do that on the daily. He printed the pictures and tried to get me to buy the most expensive package. I was like, "I'll just take these 2."  I looked pregnant in the other ones....because of that horrible dress. 

I told the kids I would but them tee shirts, so we went back to the tee-shirt store. While I was waiting to pay, my 15 year old started whining. "Mom! I have such a headache. It's probably because I haven't had any coffee today. There is a coffee place just 2 stores down. Can we get some coffee? PUH-LEEZE?????" She was annoying me so I sent her and Frenchie down to get coffee and I told her that I would meet her there with her sister when we were done checking out. 

That's exactly what we did. I walk in and my daughter and Frenchie are sitting at a table with a young blonde man. They were all laughing. I was like, 

So I just sat down. I looked this child up and down. Nice-looking kid, late teens. Definitely out of high school. Holding a big-ass vape that looked like Aladdin's lamp. My daughter knew I wasn't pleased. "Hey mom! This is Carson." I think it was Carson, I don't remember, it was just some white-boy name with an "N" at the end. She introduced him so casually like they were old friends just catching up. WTF.  "Hi Carson! You go to school here?" I asked. "Yes, ma'am. I got to the community college up the road." I nodded, "So, you're what 19?" I asked. "Yes ma'am. How old are y'all?" he asked the girls. "They are 15," I said before they could even answer. Then I gave him a look that said, Don't look at my daughter like that BRO. Then I asked him a bunch of questions about his vape and lectured him about it. I'm such a mom. 

"All right, it's time to go," I said. The girls said good-bye to Carson and we went to find the candy store. I had to hear about how good-looking he was the whole time. If there is a cute boy, my daughter will find him. She can smell their pheromones from miles away. She's like, "Can I go back and get his Instagram?" I looked at her like she had 3 heads. "In what reality do you think I would agree to that? That is a grown-ass man with a vape." "But mom- he's only 19. I go to school with 19 year old." "I don't care. That means nothing to me." She pouted, "You never let me have any fun!" I laughed, "Dude! That's my actual job. I'm your mom, not your wingman. Get the f*ck out of here." 

She soon forgot about Carson when we got to the candy store. We sampled all the fudge and truffles and I'm pretty sure I brought a little bit of EVERYTHING. My husband picked us up and we grilled hamburgers on the back porch and had dinner. Afterward, it was our turn in the hot tub. I put on my bathing suit and said to the children, "Me and dad are going to hang out in the hot tub for a bit. Please give us some privacy and don't bother us." I hadn't seen him all afternoon. I just wanted to chill with him and relax without the kids coming out and asking if they can have a snack, or tell me they need to buy them something or show me a meme. Because they will do that, every time. The kids were like, "Don't be gross." I rolled my eyes. "Let me live my life."

We climbed in the hot tub and I exhaled. My feet were sore from walking all day and it was nice to finally sit. There was a little chill in the air and there was nothing but trees around us. It was perfect. We just relaxed and talked and laughed. It was nice. The kids didn't come to bother us one time. 

After, we decided to hang out and watch TV together. I fixed myself a small plate with cheese, salami, strawberries, and chocolate-covered pretzels and poured myself a glass of wine. I curled up on the couch under a blanket and Frenchie flipped through the channels to find something to watch. We stumbled upon a silent film from 1919 called "Broken Blossoms." I was surprised that the kids wanted to watch it, but they did. This movie had everything you would want in a family film - drug abuse, child neglect, racism, pedophilia, murder.... What was happening in 1919? This movie was insane. 

The kid's commentary had me laughing so hard. "Why were old-timey guys so thicc?" I almost spit out my wine. We ate our candy and watched this silent movie together and had the most wonderful time. It was definitely one of the highlights of our trip.

The next day, I packed us lunch and we headed to Vogel State Park. We ate lunch next to a stream. The sun was shining and you could hear the water trickling over the rocks. It was peaceful. I soaked it all in. After, we hiked to a waterfall and then stopped at the man-made beach at a lake at the base of the mountain. It was so beautiful. 

The kids splashed around for a bit and then begged to go to the gift shop. I sent them ahead and I sat in the lake for a while, alone. I reflected and enjoyed the solitude. It was great. On the way back to the cabin, we stopped at the lookouts along the way to get a good view of the mountains. 

That evening, my husband took us out to dinner at the restaurant we had eaten during our first visit. We sat outside by the river and they served us a sausage platter, pork chops, red cabbage, and German potato salad. It was so yummy. After, we went mini-golfing at the top of a hill in the center of town. The views were great. Frenchie had never been before and she hated it 100%. I mean, throwing down the club, pouting, upset. We thought it was hilarious. I told her that we are getting her a "Mini-Golf Champion" tee-shirt for Christmas. My husband beat me by 1 stroke. Damnit!

When we got back to the cabin, the kids showered and started packing up to leave since we were heading out in the morning. My husband and I took the dog for a walk. It was dark and we were literally in the middle of the woods. My husband was FREAKING OUT. Every 2 minutes he was like, "Quiet! Do you hear that?" He was convinced that we were about to be eaten alive by a live animal. At one point he was like, "Do you see that? Dude, it looks like the reflection of a bear's eyes!" I was like, "Chill out, it's the solar light from the neighbor's cabin." As we walked, we made a hypothetical plan about what we would do in the event of a bear sighting. "I vote, we give the dog to the bear and we make a run for it," I said.

"No way! Not the dog."

"YES the dog. First of all, she only has 10 years left MAX. Second, she doesn't have kids to put through college. Third, she's a dog. She would be honored to save us. It's what dogs DO." 

My husband shook his head, "You are a terrible person."

"I don't care. I'm trying to live."

Luckily, none of us were eaten by a bear and we didn't have to sacrifice the dog. The next morning, we packed everything up and headed out. I was sad to leave. I enjoyed the break from reality. Traffic was a BITCH and my oldest was scheduled for work that evening. We made it JUST in the nick of time. She changed into her uniform in the car and I dropped her off at work before I even went home.

The house was mostly in fine shape. A shutter had blown off the house but that was it. We did the penny trick to make sure our freezer stuff had stayed frozen. I pulled out some steaks and we got to work unpacking, doing laundry and getting the house back together. 

After a few hours, I went to pick up my oldest from work. When I got home, my husband was in the back yard, re-assembling the gazebo tent. There was debris strewn all across the yard. It was excited- it would make perfect kindling. Winter is right around the corner. We always used to buy those pre-made fire logs like millenials but a few years back I decided we should learn to build our own fires like proper adults. 

I got my bin out and started collecting the sticks and my husband and I chatted about household projects while we worked. "Look at us adulting!" I said to him. He laughed. "No, seriously. We're grown-ups." He smiled, "That's a little crazy, right?" I nodded. "It really is."