Last week, I was home with my girls
on Spring Break. I was folding laundry and I expected the children to
entertain themselves for a few hours. They had been fed, they have
various toys at their disposal, they are 5 and 7 – I don't feel
like this was an unreasonable expectation. I told them if they could
be good that I would take them to Chik-fil-a and get them milkshakes.
Yes, I reward my kids with frozen sugar milk.
Somehow when I ask my kids to
play together nicely, I invoke some kind of sick reverse psychology.
My children could not get along for 2 seconds. “Mom, C won't let me
in her room.” “Mom, W took my notebook.” “Mom, I don't want W
to look at me. Tell her to stop LOOKING at me!” I can only referee
for so long before I lose my mind and turn into a screaming mad
woman. I got up and stood at the the doorway and screamed
unintelligibly about loving each other and cooperating and sharing. I
know that they weren't listening but I figured it was better than
throwing things or just leaving the house and driving into the abyss.
I finished the clothes folding
and told the kids to put their shoes on so we could go to
Chick-fil-a. Did they deserve to go to Chick-fil-a? Absolutely not,
but I needed it. Plus, I thought we needed to get out of the house.
Rewarding bad behavior? Bad mom
award for me. I decided that we would go through the drive
thru so that I didn't have to make the effort to look presentable.
I order my milkshakes and the 19
year old at the drive thru asks how I am doing and I tell him I am
well, and he turns to my children and he asks them how they are
doing. They say nothing and smile shyly. I say, “They are driving
their mom crazy today.” The guy turns to them and says, “You
better be nice to your mom. Your mom loves you and she gets you
milkshakes.” Yeah – I thought, you tell 'em. He hands me my cups
of frozen sugar milk and I smile and thank him and drive away. I pass
back the milkshakes and my 5 year old makes the most bizarre
statement ever. “Mom, you are in love with the man at the
Chik-fil-a.” I was taken aback about this. “What are you talking
about?” “You were smiling at him and he was smiling at you and so
you are in love and that is not nice to daddy.” “W, I am not in
love with the Chik-fil-a man.” “Yes, you are” “No, I'm not. I
can't smile at someone?” “You smile at people you are in love
with.” Whatever. It is useless to argue with her. So now I am in
love with the Chick-fil-a man and he is in love with me.
The Chick-fil-a man probably already
has a 19 year old girlfriend who shaves her legs on a regular basis
and I have my husband who has works a 9-5. We live in different
worlds. Alas, we can never be together.......
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