We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We went up to North Carolina to see my family. We ate ourselves silly and we headed for home on Friday evening. We had a grand plan. We had to leave at approximately 6 pm. The goal was to entertain the kids for an hour and a half in the car, stop for icecream to rev them back up a little bit and then have the darkness and the lull of the car on the highway get them to sleep about 1 hour to 50 minutes before we got home. We would unload their limp, sleepy bodies from the car into their beds and SCORE! have time alone without the children. Don't get me wrong - we love hanging with the kids, but a husband and wife need time alone every once in a while.
Our plan was so working. We pulled in at 9:45, both the kids were tuckered out. I was in charge of scooping up the youngest, he had the oldest. We laid them down in their beds and my oldest stirred. We both froze in place. Like robbers who were about to be caught. We waited for her to drift back to sleep but she opened her eyes and said, "Can I sleep in your room?" WTF?!?!?! "I laid down next to her and said, "No, go to sleep." I laid with her until she fell back asleep, which was annoying. I could just let her cry and get upset. Then she would have woken up her sister and then we would be completely done because nothing ruins the mood more than cranky, crying kids. She finally went back to sleep. We were glad.
The next day she continued to be cranky and unreasonable. We woke up and my husband made a big breakfast and we sat around and ate. We eat breakfast together every morning, we have dinner together in the evening and we eat lunch together whenever we are all home. It's how we reconnect. I am a slow eater - I savor every bite and the kids are typically done eating first. We excuse them and they will go play and do whatever they do and we will sit together for a half an hour and talk and laugh. It's like being on a mini-date, except that it's in our own house and it's free and we don't have to get dressed. I feel like our lives are so kid-centered that we need these moments in the day.
So after breakfast, the kids got up and the hubby and I were leisurely finishing our coffee and shooting the bull when my 8 year old comes up and says, "Can we decorate for Christmas?" "Yes, we will do that later today." "I want to do it now." "No. It's 8 am, let me finish my coffee and then we need to go to the grocery store." She freaked out. Was completely unreasonable. She tried to explain to me a hundred times why we needed to decorate at that exact moment and when I held my ground she started screaming all the reasons why we are horrible. We never let her do what she wants, we are mean, and then she said, "You always want to ignore us and every time you just want to talk to each other." God forbid! We actually like to talk to each other - I didn't realize that it was so traumatic for her. I said, "Do you want your father and I to stay married?" "Yes." "Well, then we need to talk to each other EVERYDAY." She got mad and cried in the other room. I refuse to be guilt tripped by a third grader. We pour endless amounts of love and attention into the children. We take them to fun places, we are generally pretty easy to live with. I am not going to feel bad for carving out pockets in the day to hang with the hubby. The kids benefit from it hugely in the long run.
So she cried and we finished our coffee and ignored the crying. We discussed how we were going to wear out the kids that day to get them to go to bed early to get some alone time. We are devious. Horrible, neglectful, devious parents. :)
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