Round Up

So we are finally back from our vacation. The bags have been unpacked, the laundry had been washed, the Christmas decorations have been put away and today I went back to work. Boo. I wish vacation could last forever. We had an amazing time at Disney - my daughter did not vomit the whole time and we went on a ton of awesome rides and ate amazing food and it was great. 

But I wouldn't be me without some ranting and ravings, so let them commence.

Big Kids in Strollers:

I cannot even tell you how many 6,7,8,9 year olds I saw in strollers at Disney. Literally, full grown children with their feet dragging on the ground. What. the. hell. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not judging the parents. I myself can relate to wanting to be completely lazy and not have to keep track of my kids or take stops along the way but it's just not right. Yeah, walking around for hours sucks. It kind of hurts your feet. You are not a toddler anymore kid, the good part of your life is over, get out of the stroller and walk for God's sake!

Waiting in Line:

I hate waiting in lines. In order to avoid this we got to Disney when the parks opened and always left around lunch when the whole state of Florida showed up for the theme parks. We were walking by rides that had 120+ wait times. That is just craziness. What is this, the DMV? Thankfully my kids are the same way. The line to meet Ariel was an hour and a half long. They were like, "No thanks! I don't even like the Little Mermaid that much." The only way I'm standing in line for an hour and a half to meet Ariel is if she is giving out $100 bills. 

Food at Disney:

Did we just pay $34.12 for 3 muffins, a bagel, a fruit cup, 3 chocolate milks and an orange juice? Well, yes. Yes, we did. 

Biergarten and Human Trafficking:

The day we went to Epcot we had dinner reservations for this restaurant called Biergarten. It was a German Buffet. This place was over the top. You walk in and the inside feels like you are in a small German village (well, Disney's version of a German village). In the center was a stage with men in lederhosen playing the accordion. They had bean salad, cucumber salad in a dill sauce, tomato salad, roasted chicken, fish in mustard sauce, sauerkraut and  brats, roasted chicken, roasted veggies, potato dumplings, roast beef, macaroni, pretzel bread. They had chocolate cake, pudding, apple strudel with a vanilla cream sauce. Oh my God! This place was amazing.

Our server was from Germany, as was the sever at the table next to us and the guy that took our reservation. They were all legit German people. When we ate at the Irish Pub the performers were from Ireland. They had people from Africa doing African music in the Animal Kingdom. This all seems pretty suspect. How to they get these people anyway? Is there some Disney head hunter that goes around the world and brings these people back? Do you want to come to America and scrape food off of the plates of tourists? There is some forced labor going on. It seems kind of creepy if you ask me.

Bathing Suits:

The last night in Orlando, we stayed at a Hotel right out side of Disney that had an indoor pool. I thought it would be fun for the kids. Until I realized that when I packed my bathing suit, I only actually packed two bathing suit tops. So we stopped at Target so I could buy a bathing suit. That was horrible. Apparently, Target didn't get the message that 1/2 of American women are obese (maybe not 1/2...but whatever) and they had all 2 pieces. I would find the bottoms in small but the matching tops only in large. It was annoying. I finally brought this Spanx bathing suit for $50 - which is way too much for a bathing suit, if you ask me. It was a one piece and it has a skirt, which made me happy. Any day I don't have to shave my bikini line is a good day.

Ramada:

So I made reservations at this hotel outside of Disney. It had an indoor pool and a breakfast buffet and was one of the less expensive hotels in the area at $100 a night. The pictures were great. 

But, no. It was not good at all. If Disney is where the dreams that you wish come true, then the Ramada Maingate West is where those dreams come to die. It wasn't a complete dump but it was not far above it. The sheets were clean, which was a plus. The room smelled weird. The bottom of the bathroom door looked like someone had chewed on it. The kids liked the pool but it was dark as a cave. The chairs were made out of PVC pipes. The whole place has potential, it just needs an update bad. The next morning, we got up to go to the breakfast buffet. I put on my shoes and was ready to go. My husband asked, "Aren't you going to get dressed?" No -no I'm not. We paid a $100 for this trashy hotel and I am going to embrace the trashiness and go eat breakfast in my pajamas. I love when I can embrace the white trash woman inside of me. :)

New Years Vomit:

We drove to Cape Canaveral for New Years Eve. I hung out with my aunts, uncle, cousin and her baby. We walked on the beach and collected shells. We had dinner together. After dinner my youngest was having some major stomach issues, so she went to bed early. I was not going to make it until midnight but at 11:30 pm my daughter had this huge vomit (I don't know what's up with her random vomiting). It was bright red and I was freaking out. I thought it was blood. Alas, it was not blood. It was simply Twizzlers.

That smell was enough to keep me up until midnight! She was happy after she threw up and we all counted down together.

So that's our vacation in a nutshell! Happy 2013!