Get It Together

                              
Yesterday was rough. Really rough. I got my little one off to school and had a busy day planned. I got a text from my husband at 9 am. WE'RE OUT OF TRASH BAGS. Great. I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.

After work I dropped off my daughter at gymnastics and then went to pick up some things my 11 year old left over her friend's house this weekend. She left a jacket and a huge stuffed elephant. Like as big as her. How do you forget that?

I rushed home to make dinner. I was excited. I was making lemon pepper shrimp in a white wine butter sauce. Fancy. right? Well, I brought shrimp that wasn't deveined. It took forever to make the damn shrimp. I went to throw the peels in the trashcan and I forgot that we were out of trash bags. I grabbed a plastic grocery bag and hung it off the back door knob. Our makeshift trash bin.

After dinner I made a cup of coffee and rushed off to a PTA meeting. When I got home my youngest announced that we were out of shampoo and conditioner. I went upstairs to do laundry. The laundry room light went out last week so I've just been using the light from the hallway to do laundry. Well, the damn light bulb went out in the hallway.

Screw it. I can do laundry in the moon light. I fumbled around and opened the washing machine and immediately smelled mildew. CRAP! I left a load in there. I had to re-run it.

I went into the bedroom to get my pajamas and my 11 year old was asking me for help with her homework. I looked at it. It was talking about Associative Properties or something. I'm dumb and I don't understand much more than basic math. "Google it or ask dad." She pouted. Bad Mom Award.

Then my 9 year old comes up to me and is like, "My book bag ripped. Will you mend it?" Sure, in my spare time. I went to the sewing kit and I could not fine ONE sewing needle and there was no brown thread. I wanted to get her a good LL Bean Book bag but NO. She insisted on a pleather satchel from Target which is not falling apart a month after school started.

I didn't have time for that because I needed to make lunch. I went downstairs to make a chicken salad. I opened the fridge and saw a ton of Tupperware containers full of leftovers that had long gone bad. I decided that I wasn't going to clean them out. I'm going to throw them out. The pope is in the US talking about environmental issues and I'm just being a wasteful jerk. I'm terrible.

I'll deal with that later. I grabbed the mayo to make my chicken salad. I had barely any mayo left and I scraped the sides of the jar trying to get every last bit out. I was walking around in bare feet and kept stepping in something sticky. Gross. I pondered the last time I mopped the floor. I don't remember.
           
I cleaned up the kitchen a little bit and plopped down on the couch next to my husband. "We're having dinner for your sister's birthday on Sunday," he reminded me.
"I know."
"What are you getting her?"
"Nothing. She is 24. I don't get adults birthday presents. I'll buy her something when she's 30."
"You're the worst."

I am the worst. Hate myself. Then he asked, "Did you book the hotel for this weekend?"
We are going out of town Saturday and I failed to do that. I opened my laptop and prayed that there were rooms available. In the meantime, it was past 9 and both my kids were still awake. On a school night. Worst mom ever.

I have aspirations of having my crap together one day but things are looking pretty bad for me. I think I just need to lower my expectations for myself. I need a sister wife or something. How do other people do it?