4 Year Olds

                             
I'm supposed to be cleaning my house right now. I was feeling so motivated earlier. I went to the store and got a whole bunch of fancy cleaning stuff. I put on my cleaning clothes and thought, I'm going to clean this WHOLE house today. I'm going to get it together. Then, I cleaned the living room and after that I thought, Well, I'm pretty much done cleaning for the day. Fail. I'm so lazy.

Yesterday I had a 4 year old sleep over my house. I'll call her Red. I was watching her for a friend. I thought to myself. I can totally handle a 4 year old girl. I've had 2 of them. I forgot how physically demanding it is to have a young child.

She came over in the late afternoon and my 9 year old entertained her. My oldest went to sleep over a friend's house. I took the kids to Jersey Mikes for dinner. I put on her coat and then walked her to the car. She needed help getting in. Then I took the coat on and snapped her in her car seat. We drove 5 minutes and then I unsnapped her, put her coat back on and then helped her out of the car. Holy crap! People with little kids have to do this routine EVERY TIME they go anywhere.

Red doesn't eat much so I got her a melted cheese sandwich, chips and a M&M cookie. She thought it was so awesome. She ate 3 bites of her sandwich and then said, "Mrs. J, can I eat my cookie." I shrugged, "Sure." She ate a cookie and chips for dinner. This is what it must be like to have grand kids.

I took them to go see Kung Fu Panda 3. As soon as we got to the theater, I made them use the restroom. I waited for Red to come out. I realized that she could not reach the sink. I lifted her up, helped with the soap and helped her get her hands washed. We got popcorn, soda and I let each of the kids pick out candy. My daughter got Whoppers, Red got Gummy Bears.

We went to our seats and set everything down. Red said, "I can't sit here." I didn't understand what she meant. "Sure you can, baby." I pushed the seat down and she sat. Then she got sandwiched in the chair. Poor baby, she literally meant that she could not sit in the chair. I didn't know what to do for a second and then I remembered - booster seats! They are actually things. We found one and we sat down. Then she said, "I have to use the bathroom again." We got up and went back to the bathroom. She was skipping down the aisle, just oblivious to everyone just happy to be alive. She tripped over her own feet but just got back up. I waited for her, she washed her hands and we walked back to her seat.

 She opened her gummy bears and we watched the previews. Then she turned to my 9 year old and said, "I want your Whoppers." My daughter looked at me like, What do I do? They are my Whoppers. I nodded, "You give her the Whoppers." She was double fisting Whoppers and gummy bears. We enjoyed the movie. Every so often she would tap me on the shoulder and whisper things in my ear like, "Mrs. J, that guys is being mean when he is not being nice" and "Mrs. J, his hat is silly." haha. She was doing the same to my 9 year old who was like, "Yes."

After the movie, I put her coat back on and zipped it up and we walked back to the car. My 9 year old held Red's hand. She was being so sweet. I kind of feel bad that I robbed her of the opportunity to be a big sister.

I helped her into the car, took off her coat, and strapped her into her carseat. We were driving home and she said: "Mrs. J, I really like the song 'What Does the Fox Say?"
I have not been able to pair my phone with my husband's car so it was not an option.
"Red, we can't play that song right now."
"But I really like it."
"I know. Maybe we can listen to it when we get home."
The next thing you know, I heard sniffling from the backseat. I felt so horrible. I literally ruined her dreams. She was so tired.

We went into the house and she needed to be cleaned up. She had chocolate on her face, butter and corn kernels in between her fingers and her pony tail was half coming out. "Do you take a shower, Red?"
"No. I take a bath."
"Does your mom wash you?"
"Yes."

Okay, then we were going to take a bath. Baths are only taken like once every six months in my house. Which is really a shame because we have a big, beautiful Jacuzzi bathtub. I cleaned it out because it had collected dust. Then, I ran a bath. She got undressed and I put her in. I had a new spongee and I lathered it and made her wash her own body. She did the best she could.

She said, "Mrs. J. I love to play with toys when I take a bath."
"Baby, we don't have bath toys."
She shrugged, "But I really LIKE to play with toys in the bath."
"I know but we don't have any."
The look of disappointment on her face broke my heart. "That's ok but I really like to..."

Then it was time to wash her hair. I told my 9 year old to retrieve a cup. I debated getting it myself, but I was unsure of whether or not unattended 4 year olds drown in bathtubs. I wasn't going to risk it. I told her to lean back and I wet her hair. Then I lathered it with shampoo. I do not own tear free shampoo. There was crying involved. I was like:

                      
I did not know what to do. So I dumped another cup of water over her head and told her to rub her eyes. Poor kid.

I got her out of the bathtub and helped her dry off, get dressed, and brushed her hair and put it in a ponytail. It was almost bedtime. What did I do when my kids were that age before bed? Yes! We read books.

I might be a shitty mom but that's one thing I also did. Every night we read 3 books until they were old enough to read independently. We had so many great books. I've packed almost all of them up in the attic and I will give them to the children when they have kids of their own. I have books from when I was a kid. It is one of the things I am sentimental about.

I thought that surely there must be one kid's book laying around. I went into my 9 year old's room. There were only novels and Harry Potter sitting on the nightstand. My 11 year old has Ninth Grade Slays and other various teen novels. My kids read some big-ass books. Sometimes I see them and I'm like, "What are you reading? The Holy Bible?" I went downstairs to the bookcase and I found a kid's book. The Missing Piece.

                          
Red took one look at it and her eyes lit up, "OHHH! This is about Pac Man." haha. After we read, I helped her brush her teeth and laid down with her in bed. My 9 year old laid down to her on the floor. "Close your eyes and pretend like you are sleeping and don't move until I tell you." She hummed for a little while and played with my daughter's Mickey Mouse and then fell fast asleep. I climbed out of bed and nudged my 9 year old. "Is she asleep?" she asked in a whisper. I nodded. She got of and silently tip-toed out of the room. It was ironic because that's what we did every night when she was little.

We hung out for a little while and then I fell fast asleep. I woke up at 5:51. Red was at the edge of my bed, crying because she had a bad dream. I kicked my husband out and let her climb into bed with me. She put her cheek on my cheek. So cute. She went back to sleep for like, an hour and a half. Then she was UP. I was so tired, so I told her to wake up my daughter to play with her. haha. That's what I call PAYBACK.

I heard my husband downstairs. I told the girls to go down and ask him to put on a show so I could get a little more sleep. I got up after 20 minutes and went downstairs. My husband had put on Bob Ross for them.

                       
"Why did you put this on?" I asked.
"Bob Ross is awesome. The kids like it."
I turned to the girls. "You guys like this?"
Red said, "It's ok. I like painting." LOL.

I made them breakfast and I sat down to drink a cup of coffee. She came in from the kitchen. "Look Mrs. J, I made a tattoo." She revealed her forearm and showed a heart that she scribbled in gold PERMANENT MARKER on her arm. I took a sip of my coffee and shrugged. Well, I kept her alive and that's all that really matters.

I read the news while she played on her tablet. Then I helped her get dressed. She asked for a snack and a drink. I went downstairs to fix one for her. I offered her some healthy options but she asked for BBQ chips. "Sure." She ate and soon it was time for her to be picked up. She hugged me and thanked me and gave me a huge smile. She had orange, BBQ chip crumbs all around her lips. Sweet thing.

I went back into the house and sat down and thought, "Wow! I forgot how demanding it is to have a young child!"

I make my kids meals and I remind them of what they need to do but mostly, they can do everything for themselves. They bathe themselves, fix their own snacks, clean their own rooms, put on their own coats, wipe their own faces. I mean, everything. In the words of my sister, "You have adult-children!!!" I don't have toys in my house. If it weren't for the worn rocking horse in the corner, and the book bags sitting on the front door you might not know that there were children in this house at all. It makes my heart ache a little.

I am in awe of parents with kids under the age of 5.
                     
I mean, they have to be on 24/7. There are no naps. There are no lazy afternoons. They button buttons, fight with kids to put their shoes on, lift them up to wash their hands, bathe them EVERY NIGHT, read and kiss boo-boos, fetch snacks and drinks, clean up spills and messes, have living rooms covered in toys and crayons, calm tantrums, wake up REALLY REALLY early.

It's the trade-off I guess, because kids under 5 are sweet. They just love you no matter what and everything is new. Time does not really exist and they find joy in the smallest things. You can spell in front of them and they don't understand. They still like to snuggle and be read to. It is the best part of parenting and the hardest part parenting all at once.

When you are in the midst of it, it's just so exhausting and so much of a whirl-wind that you don't realize the speed in which life passes by. It was nice to have a little one in the house for a while to remind me of that.