Turning 12

My oldest daughter is turning 12 tomorrow. I cannot believe it. It's seems like another lifetime that she was born but just a moment ago at the same time. Twelve years, 144 months, 626 weeks, 4,284 days.... I remember in the days after she was born being so petrified that I was going to screw up this whole being-a-mom thing. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to worry so much. I mean, I've kept her alive for 12 years, so I'm not doing so bad.

Her birthday is on a Tuesday. I made the last minute decision to take off of work. She wants to go to Target to spend her birthday money and will have lunch with my mom. Unfortunately for her, she has responsibilities now and will spend her evening dancing, then at band practice. She asked me to make creme brulee instead of cake for when she gets home that evening. I'll honor that request.

We celebrated on Saturday since her day is so packed on Tuesday. I was too exhausted this year to throw parties so I told the kids I'd give them money instead. I let her invite over 3 friends for pizza and a movie. She invited a "couple" friend and T-man, of course. The neighbors came over to celebrate too.

It was very low-key, which was nice for a change. After pizza and cake, the kids sat down to watch Spaceballs. But not before I gave them the rules. "Kids! Come and stand in here," I yelled from the kitchen. They came in and lined up in front of me. They all looked nervous, which amused me because I am not an intimidating person. These 8th grade boys were like, 5 inches taller then me.

"Okay, we are going to put on a movie but here are the rules:
 - no going upstairs
 - you can sit on the couch together but next to each other, no sitting on laps
 - you can touch each other BELOW the elbow (I held up my arm and pointed to the approved areas)
 - keep your pants on
 - don't get your faces too close to each other
 - I will randomly coming in to check on you, if you have broken any of the rules, I will notify your parents. Got it?"

T-man blushed, my daughter rolled her eyes, the other two shifted uncomfortably. They all nodded, "Yes, ma'am." They scurried off. Once they were gone, the neighbors were laughing at me. "Yeah, just wait...." I said. I do not give a sh*t. I will tell these kids how it is. I was their age once and I wasn't born yesterday. I also am a member of the church of DTK (Don't Trust Kids) and especially DTEGB (Don't Trust Eighth Grade Boys).

In-between Spaceballs we all decided to go chase Pokemon. They older kids walked ahead and we followed them. We must have walked 2 miles. We walked through what used to be a golf course in our neighborhood. It was beautiful. It was twilight and the hanging moss from the live oaks to swayed back and forth in the breeze.

I watched my daughter with her friends, laughing and running up and down the hills. They were oblivious to the adults. When we made our way back around to the house, we stopped at the neighborhood playground. They were thrilled. All the kids were playing on the equipment, sliding down the slides. It was glad that they didn't care about being cool. They they all were still excited to play on the jungle gym, to climb on the big plastic hippo. They might be big kids but they are still kids, after all.

That is the best part about being 12. That you feel like you are grown but a still a child at the same time. That defines who my daughter is right now. She is right in the midst of trying to figure out if she wants to grow up or wants to stay a little girl. She struggles with wanting more independence but needing to be close to us. It's so strange to watch from the outside, the formative years unfolding right before us.

She is smart, beautiful, and talented. She is everything that we could have possibly wanted in a daughter and we are so blessed to have her in our lives. On another note, this is the last year that I won't have any teenagers for NINE years. Nine years of teenage daughters. Please pray for our sanity.

Happy Birthday, my little C-bug!