TEN

                  
What has happened to me the past few weeks? It's been a blur. We picked up the kids from camp, my brother got married, we celebrated the Fourth of July, we worked and cooked and cleaned and everything in-between. Exhale...it's been a "full" two weeks.

I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the most epic thing to happen in my house so far this year. My little one turned ten years old on Saturday. What?!?!?!? How is that even possible? My baby, my youngest has been on this earth for an entire decade.

It's gone by so fast. When she was born, she kind of fell into her place in the family. With our first there was such disruption. There was a huge learning curve as we adjusted to a new life with a baby but the second time around we were straight bosses.
                                      
I remember it being so much easier...until it wasn't. My youngest was always trying to catch up with her sister, so she did everything early. She walked at 11 months, she talked early, she potty trained early. I feel like she has always been a grown up because you could have legitimate conversations with her when she was 2 years old. She's always had an opinion and has NEVER been afraid to express it.

She is what some would describe as a "strong-willed" or a "spirited" child. Especially when she was younger. She taught us so much about love and patience. When I tell you that we struggled, I mean it. She didn't sleep through the night until she was seven, she (at-times) has been explosive and inflexible, this blog chronicles the challenges and struggles we have.

Things are getting easier. As she has gotten older, she is much more flexible. She does a much better job of controlling herself when she is angry or frustrated. She is still a very sensitive soul but has the ability to keep her emotions in check. She is turning into a delightful young lady and I couldn't be more pleased.

While she has challenged us, she has brought us so much joy. She has always been a petite child and she is so adorable, I still want to pick her up and put her in my pocket. I love her big brown eyes and her button nose. I love that she has golden curly hair. I love the way she laughs. She is crazy-smart and so fun to be around. She is sweet and loving. I adore her.

The day before her birthday, I picked her up from her friends house. We were driving home and I asked,
"Are you excited to turn 10 tomorrow?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to grow up."
"Why? What's wrong with growing up?"
"It seems hard. You have to work and like, pay bills and take care of children."
I laughed, "It's not so bad."
"You also need to learn how to understand life."

I thought that was a profound statement for a 10 year old. I was amused that she is concerned that she does not yet understand life. The older I get, the less I feel like I understand life.

We got home and she went upstairs to take a shower. I laid down on the couch. Before long, she came down and laid on top of me. She laid her head on my chest and her damp, sweet-smelling curls rested on the nape of my neck. I remarked how tall she is getting. She lifted her hand up to mine. "Look mom, my hands are the same size of yours now."

I thought about how, 10 years ago from that moment, she was still inside of me. That we didn't even know each other yet. Then, in a mere blink 3,653 days had passed. It truly gave me pause.

I rested my arm on her back and I closed my eyes and breathed in her smell, I felt her chest rising and falling gently with every breath and I held her close to me. I savored every minute that we had together and it was then that I realized that maybe I understand life after all.

Happy Birthday, little one! You are loved!