Whoa! Where has the month went? Things have been crazy around here. We've had the usual children's activities, I'm working part-time now, my husband decided to go back to school (you know, in his spare time) and has been busy getting of that together, I've got volunteer commitments and various social engagements. Life is good, but man-o-man is it full. My cup runneth over.
I sat down this evening and realized that tomorrow is the first day of spring. Already! That means that spring break is right around the corner which means it's almost the end of the school year. The end of the school year always makes me a little melancholy. Another school year has come and gone in the annals of my children's lives. *sigh* Time marches on and with every passing year they slip farther away from me.
With children, it's so subtle at first. When they start to walk, the first time they wave good-bye, when they start school.....Then adolescence hits and it's not so subtle anymore. It screams in your face. It's a time when your kids start to realize that you aren't perfect and that you haven't really got it all figured out. When they question if they really NEED you? Besides financial support and chauffeuring, they know they need you for that.
This school year has been downright traumatic for me. My 10 year old has done the separation-thing and it has nearly killed me and broken my heart. I don't hold it against her and I realize that it is completely necessary and normal....but it is not easy. It's different this time around. When my oldest daughter began to be this way, I still had an 8 year old who thought I was the best, who insisted on me laying down with her every night and rubbing her back, who snuggled next to me whenever I sat. It made it easier, that I still had a little one left.
Now, here I am. It feels strange sometimes. The other night, my husband and I were sitting on the couch for almost 2 hours and didn't even see the children. They were in their rooms - doing whatever kids their age do - probably listening to music we wouldn't approve of and taking pictures of themselves. "I feel like I'm neglecting the kids right now," I said. My husband laughed, "More like they are neglecting us."
I had a good week with my youngest. She only rolled her eyes at me 9 times instead of 56. She didn't look at me like I had 3 heads when I asked her how her day was. She didn't call me a pervert when I told her she looked pretty. The other day, I was taking a nap and she came in and crawled onto me and laid her head on my back. I was so happy, like
There are so many things that we deal with that I can't even talk about. For all the things I do share, there are tons of things I don't because I DO value my kid's privacy. I could write an entire book about the horrors of puberty, the text messages that have been sent by boys, some questionable things they say...... It's the worst. Most days I walk around like
For instance, here are some sentences came out of my mouth recently:
"Guys, we don't listen to songs about cooking dope in a crockpot. Crockpots are for cooking chili and lasagna."
"I can see your entire bra. No, you can't wear that to school."
"You cannot have Dr. Pepper and a bag of popcorn for breakfast."
"Who is that boy and how old is he?"
And I have GOOD kids. I think they just like to see squirm. I don't just pray every night - I have a running conversation with God all day, every day. "Dear Lord, please protect these children....lead them in the way they should go....give me strength...."
No comments:
Post a Comment