Tomorrow is Halloween which means that marching band season is officially over. This was my daughter's second year, and she looked forward to it all winter and spring. She loves marching band - it makes her so happy. I try to be as involved as I can. During marching band season my husband and I volunteer a lot of our time. I volunteer at every game and competition. I figure that if I'm going to be there anyway, I might as well help.
I am always in awe of the other parents and how dedicated they are to the band. We have a TON of amazing parents who are there- week after week- loading and unloading the truck, building props, riding buses, administering first aid, cheering on the kids. We spend a lot of time together during marching season and I have grown close to the other band parents.
We do everything together. We load and unload the truck together, we feed and water the children together, we run onto the field together and we stand together on the sidelines and watch, teary eyed and holding our breaths, as the kids perform their show.
I love the band moms so much. We share the joys and accomplishments of our children, but also our worries and our struggles. We hold each other up. I respect these women so much, more than they'll ever know. I've learned so much from them - especially the mothers of older kids. They have so much knowledge and insight. Their friendship is invaluable to me.
The band community is amazing because I know that even if I'm not there, there are literally dozens of other parents who love my kid and would make sure she was taken care of. Yes, I'm there to support MY kid but I love all the band kids. Every last one of them. I pray for them all and I hope they all grow up to have beautiful lives. They are an amazing group of kids and I am so humbled that my daughter can be part of that.
It has not been an easy month for the band. One of the assistant band directors passed away at the beginning of the month. I loved him, he was truly a beautiful human being. The children adored him. It was a huge loss, one that will be felt for years to come.
Then a week later, one of their fellow band members died tragically. One of OUR kids. It was almost too much to bear. The sorrow, heartbreak, grief and heaviness of it all left a feeling of brokenness that I don't think I'd ever be able to truly put into words.
I attended the funeral, because I love all the band kids. I sat in the back, as band mothers should. Band moms hang around the edges and give enough space but are there at a moments notice when needed. I watched all the band kids file into the church together. It was so different to see them all dressed up in black suits and dresses. They almost looked like little adults. My own daughter walked past me and gave me a nod of acknowledgement before joining the rest of the band who sat together.
There was a lot of tears that day and I was sad to see them like that. Sad that they had to learn so many difficult lessons in such a short period of time. I mourned their innocence as deeply as I mourned our dead.
They practiced hard in those following afternoons and competed in Lower State just 4 days later. It was a long day. The kids went out on the field and played their hearts out. I was so damn proud of them (especially my girl). The band went out on the field for awards afterwards and the parents huddled together behind them. We held our breaths as they called out the bands and our excitement grew as we got closer to the top.
They placed third. Top 3. The parents cried proud tears, jumped up and down and hugged each other. Then I turned and watched the kids: cheering, taking turns hugging one another, celebrating. I smiled because amidst all the pain, grief and loss there was joy and I realized that our children would not be broken. They are strong, they push forward, they hold up one another and they truly deserved the win.
We got home at 1:30 am there was a throng of parents there unloading the truck. At 1:30 AM. Band parents are amazing human beings.
They qualified for state competition the following week. They were aiming for single digits- top 10. They went out and played the show one last time. All those hours of practice, all that work, the blood sweat and tears - came down to this ten minutes.
There was some electronic issues but I thought they did fabulously. I love watching my daughter play the flute. I makes me SO happy. I thought they had a solid performance.
It was time for awards and the kids went onto the field. The parents stood together on a hill. Again, we held our breaths as they called out the bands. They called out 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11 - it wasn't us. Then they called out number 10....it wasn't us. They had done it! Single digits. They placed number 7th in the state. The parents were so happy. Our kids worked so hard for this and it was important to them. They had met their goal and they had made it to the other side.
We watched them hug and celebrate again. They had told their story and they had done it well.
The kids will remember this month for the rest of their lives. I know that I will. I hope they remember that sometimes it is darkest right before the dawn, that there are rainbows after the storm, that even in hard times there is beauty. Most importantly, I hope they know that they ALL are loved.
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