It's Christmas Time Again

 The other day, I was driving my daughter to gymnastics and we were talking about Christmas. She said, "Now that I don't believe in Santa anymore, I see how much everything costs and I feel bad for the parents. Christmas is really expensive."

Quite observant for an 11 year old. It's 5 days until Christmas. It's here again. I'm almost ready....the gifts are wrapped, the plans are made. The only thing left to do is the grocery shopping, which I'll do on Friday. I will be spending a lot of time in the kitchen over the next few days. That's my gift.

I sent a text message to my family a few weeks ago that went something like this: We are only purchasing gifts for the children this year. Holiday fellowship and Christmas dinner is our gift to you.

Man, I'm such an asshole. haha. I don't care though, I gave all my f*cks away years ago. I'm not buying presents for adults anymore. I just have too many family members. If I had like 1 sister, and my parents were married - then maybe I would buy gift for everyone. But holy hell, I have half a dozen siblings. I have 6 nieces and nephews that I buy for. That's only between 3 siblings. Half of my siblings will still have kids. Once we have 8 or more nieces and nephews, we are going to do on-years-off-years. One year, half of them will get gifts for Christmas...the next year, the other half will. haha

I can see myself now, in seven years, talking to my cute, wide-eyed, future nephew. "I didn't get you a gift this year because I'm putting two kids through college, so I'm going to need you to appreciate that. Have a cookie." I won't even feel bad about it.

The thing is, Christmas just gets entirely out of hand. It is expensive enough just to provide gifts to your own biological children but then you add nieces, nephews, parents, grandparents, your spouse, friends, co-workers, teachers, coaches, the mailman......

Seriously, look at this holiday tipping guide:

For Those Who Help With Your Home

Housekeepers: Up to the cost of one cleaning. If a head cleaner uses a team, consider tipping the teammates individually.

Trash Collectors: If there are no local restrictions on tipping public-service employees, give $10 to $25 per person.

Lawn Maintenance/Landscaper: $20 to $50

Pool Service: Equivalent of one week’s service

Apartment Superintendent: $20 to $80. You can give more if you think he or she has done a stellar job this year.

Doorman: $20 to $100. Whatever you give, consider giving each doorman the same amount to be fair.

Parking or Garage Attendants: $10 to $50

Handymen, Exterminators, other Home-Service Providers: $20 to $100

For Those Who Take Care of Your Loved Ones

Day Care Teacher: $20 to $70, plus a small gift from your child.

School Teachers: Small gift or gift card. Avoid cash, in favor of contributing to a class gift or gift certificate. Don’t forget to gift the teacher’s aide or paraprofessional.

Principal, School Nurse, School Secretary: Small gift or card.

Bus Driver, Lunch Aide: $25

Babysitter: An evening’s pay, plus a small gift from your child.

Nanny: One week’s to one month’s pay, plus a small gift from your child.

Pet Sitter/Dog Walker/Groomer: A cash gift equivalent to one service.

For Those Who Drop Off Your Packages

U.S. Mail Carrier: Per federal regulations, you can only give them a gift worth $20 or less.

UPS/FedEx Delivery Person: $20 to $25, or a small gift. FedEx drivers are allowed to receive tips and gifts under $75. While UPS prefers drivers to receive gifts, it leaves it up to the customer’s discretion.

Newspaper Delivery Person: $10 to $30

No. I mean, not just the SIX teachers of my ONE child but the secretary, principal and school nurse? NO. A $20 gift to the mail man? NO. Actually, f*ck the mail man. The mail man gets a pension, is ALWAYS delivering the neighbor's mail to me and I have to go deliver it to them, he delivers my amazon packages to the neighbors CONSTANTLY and I have to always track them down. The mailman needs to get ME a $20 present to make up for the time I spend correcting his mistakes. 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't get gifts for people you appreciate. If you have so much money that you wipe your ass with $20 bills, then you should absolutely tip your housekeeper and pool maintenance people handsomely but normal people totally overextend themselves this time of year because there is this EXPECTATION that you have to buy a present for everyone in your life that you appreciate and love. It puts a lot of pressure on people and it's absolute garbage. 

The commercials this time a year are ridiculous as well. Jewelry commercials are the worst. "If you want your wife to FINALLY blow you, you should buy her this diamond tennis bracelet. Interest free financing for 36 months......" That's enough to make anyone go full MGTOW. Is that really the message that we are sending out? That your girlfriend/wife won't love you as much unless you get her an expensive gift for Christmas? Is this who we are as a society? I'm just not into all that. 

People don't want to say "no" because they don't want to look like a Scrooge or they don't want people to think they can't afford it, or they feel obligated to..... F*ck that. 

If you are still paying for Christmas in March or April, then you spent too much and next year you just need to not get people shit. 

Why do people walk around at Christmas like they don't have student loans and electric bills to pay? It's just getting out of control and I'm opting out. I spent about $200 each on my kids (which I think is too much) and $16 on my husband. Don't feel bad for him though. He just got a smart TV a few months ago, and Assassins Creed....and everything else he wants.   Lord knows we all have enough already, we are very blessed. 

I hope my family/friends take any money they would have spent on us and spend it on themselves. Treat yo' self. That would make us happy. 

We will focus the next few days on the things that bring us joy. We'll go see the Christmas Lights, watch holiday movies, sing carols. eat delicious meals and spend time with our family, and most of all, we will count our blessings.