16 Years

                              
It's the end of June...you know what that means. It's time for my obligatory anniversary post. On Sunday, I'll be married for 16 years. How can that even be?

When we got back from Japan in April, my father picked us up from the airport. He helped us unload our bags and he sat with us and visited for a few minutes. We sat on the couch and talked about our trip. My dad was getting a little sentimental and nostalgic. "I'm so happy for you guys. You're doing all the things you wanted to do." Then he told me a story that he'd never told me before. "You know, I was really concerned when you guys wanted to get married and I asked your man, "Are you sure you just want to be with one woman your whole life?" He didn't pause. He said, "Yes. I love her" and I believed him."
"He did?"
"Yes."
"How come you never told me about this?"
He shrugged. I smiled.

My father was upset that my husband never asked for his blessing to marry me but if you ask my husband, he'll tell you it was because he knew that my father would not give his blessing and that would have been a predicament. He figured it was better to ask forgiveness than permission.

We laugh now when we think about my parent's crusade to convince me not to get married. I don't blame them. I'd do the same thing probably. You know, because I'm a hypocrite.

I was 17 when we decided to get married. Just a little girl in so many ways but I didn't have a choice. It is what needed to be done. I knew that with the core of my being. I never intended things to happen the way they did. I was just a teenager, living my life, drowning in homework and working at Wawa. He was my good friend and then something happened. When I realized that I was in love with him there was no going back. It was like things suddenly became clear. His kisses were like electricity that brought me to life. He opened doors that I never knew were closed. Being with him was so easy. I felt safe in his arms. He was home to me. We belonged to each other. I needed to be with him forever.

I didn't care how many adults gave me speeches about how I didn't need to get married. It was like they were telling me that I needed to learn to breathe without air in my lungs. I was young but I wasn't stupid and I wasn't afraid. He was just a boy then but I could see the man that he would one day become. I could see the potential in him. I knew that he was a hard worker, that he was kind, that he loved me with everything he had, he looked at me like I was the most beautiful creature to walk the earth, he wanted so badly for my dreams to come true, he believed in the woman that I wanted to become, when I looked into the future there was us. I knew that it was a once in a lifetime thing.

We got married on a Monday morning in June. There was no wedding, no pomp and circumstance, no large celebration. I didn't care about any of that. It was just me in a lace dress and him in his uniform, in the corner of the Justice of the Peace office. It was the happiest day of my life.

And now, 16 years have passed. No marriage is a fairy tale. If you ask my husband how long we've been married he'll laugh and tell you, "Too long." That always makes me laugh. We both have a dry sense of humor.

But 16 years is kind of a long time. It doesn't seem like that long but I have moments where I think, "Damn! That was a while ago." I met a new nurse at work this week and who just got married in December. She is a grown woman, has a bachelors degree. She was in KINDERGARTEN when I got married. What the helll?!?!

Or when I think about being newlyweds. Sundays were our relaxing days, we would do laundry and I would go to the corner store and buy a USA Today for $1. We didn't have cable and that was our entertainment. Internet was not a place for entertainment. You would Ask Jeeves stuff and access Mapquest but there was no Facebook, Youtube, or Myspace even. I submitted my college papers on floppy disks. Fast food restaurants were still cash only. We got married the year American Idol premiered, gas was .99, there were no smart phones or tablets, we don't have many pictures because digital cameras were super duper expensive....basically, it was the horse and buggy days.

When we tell the kids about when we first got married they act like it was the Civil War times. hahaha. We were happy as hell though- married at 18 and 19, in our small apartment, watching Unsolved Mystery re-runs, eating Ramen noodles and playing the piano all the time. We were in married bliss. It was a beautiful time.

We weren't children, just inexperienced adults but we've learned along the way. Our marriage has been mostly happy, and really, isn't that as good as it gets?

That rag-tag boy that I fell in love with is my best friend in the whole world. He makes me laugh so hard, he always sends me the best memes, he is an amazing father to our children, he pops my pimples, he rolls his eyes when I'm being crazy, he dances with me in the kitchen, we act like weirdos together, we've traveled to amazing places together, he is calm when I am not, his kisses are like rain in the dessert. He is everything to me. We are just two kids who made something out of nothing.

I believe that God put us together at the right time. That things are the way that they are supposed to be. I did things all wrong. I got married at 18, had a baby at 20 and a second at 22. Do I advocate that for other people? Certainly not. The likelihood that things work out for the best in this situation are pretty slim but we are unicorns. hahaha. I have always lived my life on my own terms and I have zero regrets. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing.

I didn't lose anything by marrying or having children young. I gained everything. I got lucky. I believe that this was God's plan for my life and I trust in that.

We are still SO young still and God willing, have a LOT of good years left! I can't wait to see what the future holds. In the years ahead, our kids will be grown! There are so many trips to plan, so much alone time to be had.....

So, f*ck the life checklist. Marry your best friend, trust your inner voice, take the trip, love with reckless abandon.

Here is to 16 years and a shout out to my husband, my life partner, my favorite human. I love you so much. Thank you for making my life beautiful, for always being there, for putting up with me. I love you and I can't wait to grow old together!