The Corn Maze

It's October which means we are in full Halloween mode. We love Halloween and we spend the entire month celebrating - we decorate, watch spooky movies, carve jack-o-lanterns and enjoy a visit to the corn maze.

We have been going to the same corn maze every year since 2007. This was our 11th visit. We packed up the kids (and Hollister Boy, the official tag-a-long) this Sunday and headed to the corn maze. It's quite a sight to see now. When we first started going, it was a small event. It was only it's third year in existence. There were some animals, a hay ride, a pumpkin shed and a corn maze. That was it. It wasn't crowded, they only accepted cash.

But now, 11 years later, things have changed. There are two parking lots and a cop directing traffic. Every year they added new things and you walk up and there are food trucks, snow cones, a sand pit playground thing, a corn kernel sand box, a small kid maze with hay bales. It's kind of neat to have watched it grow.

At the very front they have pictures of all of the corn mazes organized by year and the kids pointed them out and were like, "I remember this one. Oh- the one with the football. It was really hot that year!" We have so many wonderful memories of the corn maze.

The first year, it took so long for us to get through. No one was there but us and I sat in the maze and nursed my 1 year old as we took a break. Another year, the crop wasn't so good and they turned the bare area into a resting stop. There was the year that it started pouring down rain when we were in the middle of it and we were determined to finish. We laughed as we ran through, punching our cards as the rain came down. When the kids were young, they'd want us to carry them. They'd walk a little, then we'd carry them on our hips, then down again to walk a little, then we'd carry them again.

I remember the first year they made it all the way through without us carrying them ONCE. I smiled to my husband, "Can you even believe it?" That was so long ago.

 It's been hard to find time as the kids have gotten older. Last year, we made it to the corn maze at the last minute.

Last October was a heavy time. It was busy,  gymnastics season was moved to the fall, marching band was in full swing, my oldest daughter experienced two tragic deaths of people she knew. It was hard for all of us. The state marching band competition was the last Saturday of October and I had to get up early the next day and go to work.

I came home from work that Sunday afternoon, exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally spent. I pulled my scrubs off and told the children to get ready to go to the corn maze. My husband was like, "Are you sure? We don't have to." I nodded, "We're going, we can't break our tradition."

It was the late afternoon, the coldest it's ever been. It was overcast and we all shivered as we made our way through the maze. The kids ran ahead, we laughed and it was a beautiful time- like it always is.

Afterwards, we had gotten barbecue at the food truck and we sat together and ate. We talked about Halloween, the sun was going down and the heaviness had lifted. In a world that seemed to be changing all the time, that had become more confusing, different and hard for the kids- this was a place that was familiar, that was grounding, that was the same. It brought comfort to all of us.

Now, here we were a year later. I paid for our wrist bands and we made our way through to see the animals. The kids admired the chickens and pet the cows and the pigs. They asked if they could paint pumpkins. I didn't think they'd want to this year but they still do. They all picked out pumpkins and set them on the tables and painted them. It was a sight to see because lined up on both sides of the table were little children- all under 8, painting their pumpkins and at the very end were our adult-sized children hunched over painting their theirs. Not noticing that they were out of place at all.

We took our phones out and took pictures of them. "Look at me!" my husband said, snapping a photo. Some of the other parents there looked at us weird as we took pictures and oohed and aaahed at their pumpkin painting. To them, we probably seemed ridiculous. But we don't see our kids the way they do. They are still our children and we are still making memories. We are cherishing the very last pieces of their childhood that are slipping away from us.

They will understand one day, too. I watched the parents of the young children as they "helped" and wiped noses and instructed on hand washing. That was me, once upon a time. I sighed.

They set their pumpkins down to dry and we rode on the hay ride and then we made our way through the corn maze. The kids helped navigate and ran ahead, as usual. We were about halfway through when we came across two children. A boy and a girl. "Excuse me, do you know were we are?" they asked, handing us their map.

I called my husband over and he showed them exactly where we were. The kids were like, "We actually lost our mom. Can we stay with you guys and you can help us get out of the maze?" My husband was behind them looking at me like,


I couldn't very well leave them in the maze all alone. That's not who we are. "Sure, you guys can stick with us until we get through and if your mom isn't there then we'll let the workers know."

We went on our way through the maze- now with 5 children in tow. I asked the kids their names and ages. They told me, "I'm 10." and "I'm 11." Then they told me their life story. I didn't ask, they just shared. "Our parents are divorced." That was the first thing they told me. I was like, So much for keeping the conversation casual. They were there with their mom and her boyfriend. I got the impression that they didn't like the boyfriend very much. The boy had gotten lost first, according to his sister, and the adults hadn't seemed concerned. Then SHE got lost but she found her brother and they decided to stick together and then they had found us.

"Is this your first time being here?" the boy asked.
"No. This is our 11th year in a row," I replied.
"We're you a kid then?" he asked.
"11 years ago?" I laughed, "No."
"How old were you 11 years ago?" he asked.
"I was about 24," I said.
He looked puzzled. I explained to him that these big children were MY kids. I think he thought we were just a bunch of friends. That made me chuckle that he thought I was must have been a child 11 years ago.

The kids were delightful and they just tagged a long. We all were having a great time. When we were almost through, we ran into the little kid's mother and boyfriend. "I thought we had finally gotten rid of y'all!" the boyfriend exclaimed when he saw them. Oof, as my girls would say. The kids waved to us and said goodbye. I smiled back at them and bid them farewell.
   

After we'd made it through the maze, we got barbecue and chatted about the day. The kids watched the little ones play in the sand that they had played in years ago. It was a nice time.

When it was time to go, the kids went to retrieve their pumpkins that they had painted. "Will we still come here when the girls grow up?" I asked my husband.
"Hell yeah. Me and you can do the corn maze."

I thought about what that will be like. There are only 3 more Octobers until our oldest graduates and just 5 for our youngest. That first visit without them will be weird. I can see it now- the two of us walking in, alone. We'll look at the pictures of the corn maze of all the years past and we'll reminisce. We'll ride the hayride, just the two of us. We'll sit on a hay bale and take a selfie and send it to the girls - Wish you were here. :) We'll watch the parents of young children, carrying their bags and their sippy cups, looking tired and we'll remember when that was us.

We will walk through the corn maze and argue over which way to go and when it's all done we'll sit and eat barbecue. We'll talk about our jobs, upcoming trips, the last time we talked to the girls....

Will I be okay? Will I have adjusted to this new life? Will this place bring me comfort- knowing that our visits brought us so much joy throughout their childhood? Will the memories of my children being young break my heart or will they sustain me? These are the questions that I don't have the answers to. They are the things I can speculate about but I really won't know until I get there.

We walked back to the car and I watched them. My girls laughing about something, Hollister boy towering above them as he walked alongside. Just like that, our 11th visit to the corn maze had come and gone.