I always tease my husband that he failed the third grade. He always corrects me by stating that actually he attended summer school, therefore he technically passed. Then he proceeds to tell the story of how he saw the Pp on the alphabet chart and made a joke about "pee-pee" and the summer school teacher made him leave. He loves that story- we've all heard it about a hundred times. He was that kid in elementary school that was always getting into trouble. He didn't think he was smart. As he got older, his behavior calmed down and he only ever did enough school work to get by.
I met him right after junior year of high school. Going into senior year, he had no plans for the future. It never even occurred to him that he could go to college. Neither of his parents even made it to high school. But they were good people. They worked hard. They wanted a better life for him.
He joined the Army in February. He woke up that morning with no intention of it. He simply tagged along to the recruiting office with his cousin who was considering joining the service. He was standing there and the recruiter asked his plans for after high school and he said he didn't have any. The recruiter was like, "Wanna get out of this small town and shoot some guns?" My husband was like, "Hell yeah." Then he signed the papers. I'm not 100% that is how it exactly went down, but you get the gist. He went home and told his parents he had joined the ARMY. He never even consulted them. His mother cried. What was done was done.
He scored high on the ASVAB and got a job in accounting. He was smart. HE just never realized it. I knew all along though. It 18, on paper, marrying him seemed like a gamble. But I knew HIM. I knew he was smart, kind, generous, and a hard worker. To hell with what anyone else thought.
Unlike my husband, I always knew I would go to college. I grew up knowing that was the plan. When we got married, I enrolled in the local university. I took a class with a soldier that told me that the military would pay your tuition while you were active duty and that it didn't affect your GI Bill. At that time, my husband had already been in the service for a year and had gone through accounting school and was doing accounts payable for the ARMY. He was ready. "You can take one class at a time," I said. That's what he did.
We took a Biology class together that summer. We studied together and were always lab partners. We actually had class on our first anniversary. We did our Lab and then came home and played Scrabble. Romance.
Life changed. I got pregnant, we moved, and moved again. He got a job with the Department of Defense and started an Associates Degree Program. He finished at 22. He was so happy. Those were hard days for us. I was still in school too, and we had a baby. He would work, come home and do school work, and watch the baby while I did school work. It was impossibly difficult. He vowed never to go back to school.
Life continued to march on. We moved and moved again. He left his accounting job with the D.O.D and went to work for a small IT company. He worked hard, he learned a lot and he built a good life for us. Then, he went into contracting work. He's always wanted his work to benefit veterans and soldiers and it was BIG for him.
My husband's dreams have always been: serving those who serve, traveling the world, not having to live paycheck-to-paycheck, making sure the children have what they need, being happy.
A few years ago, he started traveling for his job. He's gotten to go cool places - Texas, California, Hawaii, Germany. He works long hours when he travels so he doesn't get to explore. But SOMETIMES he works weird hours (like going in at midnight) so he does get to see some of the places.
When he was in Germany in 2016, it was a long trip - two weeks. Sixteen hour days. He was supposed to have ONE day off. He really wanted to go to Paris. He called me that week and was going back and forth about it. "The other guys don't want to go, the train tickets are $200, what if I get lost?" I was annoyed. "If you can go-then go. It will be $200 well spent. If they don't want to go, go alone. You'll regret it if you don't." A few days later, he sent me a selfie of himself, smiling from ear to ear in front of the Eiffel tower. I teared up. I was happy for him. The man has worked so hard his whole life, he deserves every good thing that comes to him.
I picked him up from the airport from that trip and he was talking excitedly. "So, I decided, I'm just going to finish my bachelor's. I still have some of the GI Bill left. I want to take on bigger projects. I'm going to do it." I was hesitant at first. He works full time and our lives are busy. I knew it was going to be insanely difficult. "Okay. Do it! I'll support you."
He did. He went to school year-round for 3 years. Every evening, he was studying. Every weekend. Every spare moment. Part of the degree program was obtaining certifications and those were the worst. He'd study for months and on test days I would be a wreck. I'd be at home, waiting and praying for the text that he had passed. When he is stressed, I am stressed. When he is disappointed, I am disappointed. When he is happy, I am happy.
That is what his life has been for 3 years. Work, work, work. When his Capstone was accepted he exhaled. He didn't sleep that whole night, he was so excited. That evening, we went to Moes. Just the two of us. The kids had various practices, that's when things were normal.
I said, "You know, only 9% of Hispanic men have a 4 year degree and only 2% of people that marry as teens have a 4 year degree. So I was thinking, if we are somewhere in the 2%, we need to now figure out how to get in the 1%," I joked. He laughed, "I guess." "What would we do with like 10 million dollars?" I asked. He thought for a minute, "I don't know. Go on vacation." "Definitely, and maybe we could sign up for one of those Hello Fresh subscriptions. We are going to be so fancy."
I asked how he felt, if he was glad to be done and he said, "The thing is, I never thought would graduate from college in my life."
That made me happy for him and broke my heat all at the same time. His life is a great success story. His life is proof that it's never too late, that you can do anything. It's not just about finishing college either. He has sacrificed a lot in his life, he has had a huge amount of disadvantages, he has grown into an amazing husband, he is an attentive and loving father. He never gives up. Even when things are hard, even when they seem impossible - he always just puts one foot in front of the other. He never complains. He just does what needs to be done. I admire him so much. He inspires me.
Here's to you, my love! May all your dreams come true!
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