In Case You Didn't Think I Was Trashy

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I really like my little house. I have filled it with things that I love. I've framed pictures of the kids drawings, I have the dining room table that belonged to my grand parents. The 1920's colonial revival dining chair I rescued from the trash and re-covered. Our hand-made kitchen table. Right now the house looks especially cute because we have our mantel covered with fall garland and candles and orange table clothes. My house is not flashy. It's not matchy-matchy. It's quaint and cute.

And then you walk upstairs and say, "Well, I didn't know you we're trashy." My bedroom is horrible. I hate it. The kids peeled the the paint off of my headboard and the nightstand. Not all of the paint - just some of it. Enough to make it look trashy. They like to peel things. They remind me of the crazy lady in that Yellow Wallpaper story. I wondered if there was something wrong with them. But no - they just like to destroy property when I'm not looking.

The worst part of our room is the mattress. It is horrible. We brought the mattress 6 years ago from an old Asian guy who had it advertised on Craigslist for $100. We sold EVERYTHING when we moved and so we were starting over from scratch. We had to buy plates, towels, furniture, ect and a new mattress was not in the budget. It looked clean. We joked that his wife probably died on the mattress so I sometimes call it the dead-lady mattress. Isn't that horrible.

Now before you think I'm gross - keep in mind that I sleep in hotels ALOT. There were hundreds of people sleeping on those beds doing God knows what. So one dead lady and her Asian husband don't bother me that much. It made sense anyway. Our kids were 1 and 3 at the time so we know we had a few more years of them crawling into our bed and peeing in it.

And they did. That was their favorite thing to do. There is nothing like waking up in the middle of the night in a warm puddle of urine. "Oh man, it must be hot in here - I'm really sweating. Oh no, it's just pee....again." This mattress has experienced a lot. It's been vomited on multiple times. My kids always think they will feel better if they are resting and consequently, vomiting in MY bed rather than their own. I'm sure someone has gotten boogers on it. I can say that no one has pooped in it. At least I think not - I can't be 100% sure. With kids, poop is always a possibility.

It gets worse. When we moved into the house we are currently living in, our bed frame broke. It broke during the MOVE - that was 2 and a half years ago. I was like, "Just put in on the floor and we'll get a new one this weekend." They are $50 bucks, not a lot of money. Would fit in the car. Well, here we are 2.5 years later and the mattress is STILL on the floor. It doesn't get trasher than that. It's just sad. Really, really sad.

But even then, it get's worse. The mattress over the past 4 months had started to fall apart. Like the seams are coming undone and I can lift the fabric and see the springs. It's so awful.

Last night, I came home and I walked into the bedroom and for the 1,000 time a wave of disappointment came over me and I snapped. I told my husband, "Tomorrow, I am going and buying a mattress and a new frame AND new sheets." Our sheets are pretty sad too - they are clean at least. Well, except for the corner where the nail polish is because my daughter decided to paint her nails in my bed. My husband looked at me and said, "What kind of mattress are you going to get?" I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know." He looked at me suspect and do you know what he said? He said, "Well, just don't get a crappy one." Gee, I didn't know he had standards. I don't think he realizes that he has been sleeping on the dead-lady mattress on the floor for the past 2.5 years.

I followed through this time. I went to the mattress store and I laid on a bunch of mattresses and I purchased one. I was sooooo excited. I filled out the delivery paperwork and they said they would take my old mattress away. I panicked a little. That means someone is going to have to see my mattress. I am going to hang my head in shame and avoid making eye contact. My new bedroom is going to be awesome- plus my kids don't come in my bed and pee anymore. There is perks to having big kids.