This is a super busy time of year. I'm starting to say that every time of year now. Only 14 more days of school left. I am crossing them off and salivating about the thought of not having to wake up at five in the morning to make lunches and shuffle children all around. Of course when that time rolls around, I will be complaining about them in the house all day making messes and driving me crazy. There is no winning.
May is always bittersweet for me. It's a few weeks before my wedding anniversary, the kid's birthdays and the end of the school year. It's a reminder that another year has come and gone. The girls are getting so big. They will be 9 and 11 and in August will be 4th and 6th graders. Say WHAT?!?!?!?!? I have some big kids. I still cannot believe it. Especially my baby. My 8 year old wears matching clothes now and does her hair in the morning. She wants to be like her big sister.
The kids are easy at this age. They can do most anything themselves. They are funny. You can hold real conversations with them. They are good kids. All in all, I hit the kid lottery. I feel incredibly blessed.
Seriously though, I am going to have a daughter in the sixth grade. Mind blowing. The kids are getting older and I am getting older too. Things are not how they used to be. I have this new line around my eye. It's not crows feet. It's this crease. It's my dad's eye crease. I would get some restylane injections but they are so pricey. I need to work for a plastic surgeon so I can get a discount. I also feel like I gain weight more easily now that I'm in my 30s.
I hit rock bottom on Monday. I cannot fit into my pants. I stepped on the scale and almost had a heart attack. I cannot eat whatever I want anymore. Which, in my humble opinion, is bullshit. I would like to loose 17 pounds. So I am biting the bullet and not doing carbs and eating smaller portions and doing what I'm supposed to do. This is what I had for a snack today:
But don't feel bad for me because I treated myself to a salad and hard boiled egg and three strawberries too.
I was munching away on my raw veggies and hating life.
I was fantasizing about cake. Chocolate cake with a caramel drizzle, chocolate chip cookies, subs....anything but green beans and carrots. Why does all the food that is bad for you taste so good? It's so unfair. I have to do it though. I tried to imagine what it would feel like to look at my thighs in the mirror without feeling like I might vomit and that helped me to power through. Yes, the days of eating whatever I want with no consequences is over.
Besides eating a maximum of 1,200 calories, I was out doing yard work today. It needed to be done and I figured it would be like exercise. If anything, it was so hot that I was sure that I could sweat off three pounds. I was out there for 3 hours pulling weeds, laying down new mulch, and getting up all the damn magnolia leaves. When I came inside I was sweating and my face was burning. My eight year old saw me and do you know what she said?
"Whoa, mom. You are red as balls." What? It was one of those moments where you want to laugh really hard but you can't because you know it sets a bad example. "That's not an appropriate thing to say. Don't say that again." Where did she get that fun little "as balls" quip? Not from me. Which is surprising, honestly. It's my husbands fault. Those are his choice words. Bad Dad Award.
When he got home I greeted him and then I put my hands on my hips and said. "Do you know what your daughter said to me today?"
"No. What?"
"When I came in from the heat she told me that I was red as balls."
"Were you?"
Heaven help us.
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