My daughter had a date on Saturday. A play date with a boy. She has this little "boyfriend" which means they sit together at lunch and talk occasionally. Last week he asked her if she wanted to go to SkyZone with him. My immediate reaction was to say no. Not for any good reason but because I don't like her going anywhere with a boy. I would never let her go alone. Of course I was going, that was a condition of her going. So I said "yes." I called his mom and we discussed it and we agreed to meet on Saturday.
We got there a few minutes early and the kid (Blondie) walks in with his mom, grand mom and baby brother. I had to laugh because my daughter is HUGE standing next to him. She is like 4 inches taller than he is. She is a really big kid all of a sudden. A few weeks ago I realized that her hands are bigger than mine, we almost wear the same shoe size. It's crazy.
I watched as the two of them jumped on the trampoline and laughed. They were just being cute and having a good time. I made small talk with his mother. They have been "going out" since right after the Valentine's dance which is almost forever in fifth grade. Afterwards we sat around and the kids drank sodas and we left. They were awkward and waved goodbye like they didn't know each other. It was uneventful.
We followed the event with a mother/daughter lunch at Mellow Mushroom and talked about the summer, movies we want to see, and sixth grade. She's so funny. I actually enjoy her company when she is being nice and not telling me that I'm ugly. The rest of the weekend was good but this week has been a little rough.
I was volunteering at her school today. It's my Tuesday routine - I help in the library for a few hours and I pop in to see her during lunch to visit for a few minutes and see how her day is going. I walked into the cafeteria today and I didn't see her in her usual spot. Her teacher called her over because she was sitting in silent lunch. Silent lunch = you are in trouble.
She walked up to me and I asked, "Why are you in silent lunch?" That's when she burst into tears. I pulled her into the hallway and she literally buried her head into my chest and sobbed. I wasn't sure why. I just wrapped my arms around her and let her. I let her cry until she was calm. "What happened?"
"Blondie said he doesn't want to be my boyfriend anymore and a boy in my class called you stupid and I got silent lunch for petting my friends hair." I was like:
So the long story short is that Blondie doesn't like that she is friends with boys (get over it kid, this is 5th grade) and she was petting another students hair and a teacher saw it and thought she was pulling his hair and sent her to silent lunch. I don't know why she was petting someone but kids do weird things sometimes.
Then there is the kid who called me stupid except he didn't really call me stupid. He was talking about faking being sick to avoid a school project and she told him that she could not do that because I don't always believe her when she is sick (she does fake it sometimes) and he replied, "Of course, have you seen your mom?" She took that as him saying I was stupid. I laughed.
"Maybe he was trying to say that I am smart and no one can fool me, maybe he thinks I don't want you to miss school because I value education....." She sniffled. "No. He thinks you are dumb. It hurt my feelings. You aren't supposed to talk about other people's moms." More tears.
I know the rules about not talking about other people's moms but I personally am a fan of Yo Mama jokes so I couldn't be offended. She looked up at me with teary eyes. "Mom, can you take me home?"
"No. You still have math. Let's go in the bathroom and wash off your face." We did that and she calmed down. I hugged her and she went off to recess. This age is interesting because the smallest things really seem huge. It was like the end of the world.
When she got home this afternoon she set her book bag down and it was like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders. She breathed a sigh of relief. I sat down on the couch and she sat next to me and laid her head in my lap. I brushed her hair with my fingers. "It's hard being a kid sometimes isn't it?"
"Yeah. Boys are jealous and stupid. I wish school was over already." I smiled. "Me too."
School isn't over yet. We have 11.5 days left and she has a science project due tomorrow. There was not much time for wallowing on the couch because we had to get started. The project was to make an edible cell. We made a cake. I was so proud of her because she baked the cake herself. She followed directions, put it in the oven, and even dyed the icing herself! I only supervised.
This was the finished product:
She was so proud of it and by the time it was finished she was back to herself again. The anguish of the day seemed to have melted away. I was glad.
I feel so fortunate to have this time with the kids. Even though they are older now -they still need me as much as they ever have. I'm not rushed anymore. I'm present. Whenever I question myself God always sends me a little reminder that I'm doing exactly what I need to do right now. Now we just have to get through these next 11.5 days!
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