Cheap and Easy

       

My husband's cousin came to visit us this past weekend. She is getting married and her fiance's family lives in South Carolina so they stopped by as they were passing through.

She walked through the door and we embraced. The children were upstairs watching Minecraft videos on Youtube or whatever the hell they do. His cousin remarked that she hadn't seen the kids since they were 2 and 3 months old. We are horrible family members. Nine years! We haven't seen each other for almost a decade. We called the kids down and they came bounding down the stairs.

My oldest daughter is as tall as she is. Crazy. We sat down in the living room and had a chat. Her fiance was very nice. He asked how long we have been married.

"We just celebrated 13 years," I replied.
My husband piped in, "Yeah, man. She has me spoiled...."

I thought that was such a nice thing to say. He never says that to me. It must be because I am so beautiful and take such good care of him. Nope.

He added, "She's cheap and easy."

That's what he said. Those exact words to describe me: CHEAP and EASY. I looked at him like

         
After they left I confronted him about it. "Thanks for telling them I'm cheap and easy. You made me sound like some two-cent hoe hanging out on Rivers Avenue."

"There is such a thing as a two-cent hoe? I didn't mean it like that. I just mean you are laid back and are low maintenance."

"Well, next time instead of calling me cheap and easy you can say that I have low standards and am easy to please."

He is right. I am kind of cheap. It has been well documented. I received a gift card last week and I went shopping over the weekend. I was excited. I never buy anything for myself. I almost never go clothes shopping in real life. I do everything online.

The kids have gotten pickier about where they get their clothes and they like American Eagle, Aeropostale, Justice. I am a beast when it comes to saving money. I got $120 worth of clothes online at American Eagle for $38 this week. I like shopping online because I can compare prices, watch sales, search for coupon codes.

Anyway, I went shopping this weekend. I needed to buy a bathing suit for myself and some sundresses. I picked out some bathing suits and went to the dressing room. I hung them on the rack and took off all of my clothes. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
                          
Dear God. The lighting was just horrible. Gross. I put all of my clothes back on. I don't need a bathing suit anyway. I'll just wear a burka on the cruise. I handed the suits back to the dressing room lady. "I changed my mind."

I walked the aisles and looked at dresses and tops. I saw one blouse that was really cute. I looked at the price tag. $89.00.

I thought to myself, Who are the ballers buying $89.00 blouses? It wasn't silk or cashmere. It was polyester mix or something. Made in Vietnam. It wasn't even a brand I recognized.

Then I thought that maybe it's normal for people to buy shirts that are ninety dollars. People are doing it all the time. Probably people with no kids and a lot of disposable income who are sitting around having people serve them food.

Not carpooling moms who spend their days cooking meals, yelling at kids, wiping counters, and sweeping up dog hair. I went to Old Navy and purchased some lovely $4 cotton tee shirts. These can be used as rags after they get ruined, I thought. Sad. Just sad.

I got some stuff for when the kids go back to school. Only 43 days left to go. Not that I'm counting or anything...