Slang

               
Sometimes, I have no idea what my children are saying to me. This weekend was a perfect example. The day after Christmas I was pretty exhausted. I was determined to do nothing. I stayed in my pajamas and we decided to watch the Divergent movies. The movie was highly entertaining. Especially since the lead male character is so incredibly good looking.

"Wow! What a handsome man. He really is good looking...."



   Theo James - so adorable that I could eat him with a spoon

I must have gone on and on. Finally my 11 year old had enough.  "Ewwww, mom. You thirsty," she blurted out.



I didn't know what that meant. I thought it meant horny. But surely that is something you would never accuse your mother of being. Especially if you are 11. I had to Google it. Desperate. She called me desperate. To top it off, she didn't even use correct grammar. It's you're thirsty, not - you thirsty.

Not only did having to look up this slang word make me feel old, my husband scoffed and said, "He's like- 10 years younger than you. You don't even have a chance."
 
I was like:
             
I had to correct him. "Actually, I am only 11 months older than him. Also, I could have a chance. Maybe he has incredibly low standards. Maybe he would be like, "Who needs a supermodel? I've always wanted to have a fling with a mom-type." It could happen."

He rolled his eyes, "No one wants to have a fling with a mom-type." BURN.

"You're just jealous that Theo James is my BFF. Boyfriend Forever."

That day, I learned that no one wants to have a fling with a mom-type and the urban definition of thirsty.
It's not the first time I've learned a new word.

There was the time I came downstairs and my daughter told me that my hair was "on fleek." I was confused. "Is that good or bad?"
She laughed. "It's good. It's on point."
"Oh! It's kind of like da bomb?"
"Mom, no one says the bomb anymore."
She is wrong - I am someone and I still say the bomb.

Later that night my husband complimented me on dinner. "I'm on fleek," I told him with a smile. "What does that mean?" I laughed. "You are too old. You wouldn't understand." My daughter was like:
                 

Then there was the time we saw 2 kids holding hands at the bus stop and she pointed to them and said, "Goals!"
"They have goals? Like to go to college?"
"No, mom. Relationship goals."
"I don't understand."
"Like, it's something to aspire to."
"Holding hands? How about going to college or helping others? Like, college goals!"
"Oh my God. Stop!"
"Are we mom and daughter goals?"
"No."

She also had to explain to be what bae means because I thought it was baby. Sometimes she calls me bruh. "How's it going, bruh?"
"I am not your brother. I am your mother. You should call me muh, not bruh."
*Eye rolling*

Nothing makes you feel as old an uncool as the mother of a tween girl. Sometimes, we don't even speak the same language.