I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I can feel it in my head, in my bones. It has been a long week, month, months, years? decade? This whole adulting thing is really wearing thin lately.
I love my children, I love them with every ounce of my being. I really shouldn't complain about them the day before Mother's Day. BUT...this week has been out of control with the attitudes. I'm feeling some back slapping coming on.
It was teacher appreciation week this week. My youngest has been on my ass about it. We have been crazy busy. Work is busy, the kids have had a million activities. I picked up a Starbucks gift card but I forgot to get flowers. Fail. On Friday morning, my daughter confronted me about it.
"Well, I got her a gift card and you can write her a nice handwritten note about how much you appreciate her."
She put her hands on her hips. "Really mom? You are horrible. That is the crappiest gift out of everyone. Just a gift card?"
I thought a gift cad was pretty good. I would love a gift card. Not up to her standards. I was seething. I ignored her. I was too tired to deal with her. Of course, she dragged her feet getting ready and she didn't write out the card until she sat down in the car. I was driving her to school and she had the card in her lap. This is what she said:
"I know what to write. Dear Teacher, Sorry my mom is such a B. She doesn't appreciate you and only got you this stupid gift card. I wish I had another mother."
I stopped the car and looked her dead in the eye. "Write it."
She looked at me like I was crazy. "I said write it. Write down exactly what you just said. I want your teacher to know exactly terrible you are. Write it."
"No."
"WRITE IT NOW!!!!!"
She started to cry. Good. She deserved to cry. What an entitled brat. I had half a mind to make her get out of the car and walk to school. I ignored her the rest of the ride. That is the worst punishment to her. Stinging looks of disappointment. "Mom, I'm sorry."
"I don't care. I don't like you." I said that to my kid. Bad Mom Award.
I dropped her off and didn't say a word to her. She gave me a puppy dog look that I wanted to punch. Done. I am so done.
My oldest has been moody as s**t. She had the nerve to come home and complain to me about lunch the other day. "You only pack Nutella sandwiches. I can't take it anymore." Let's rewind to two months ago when she told me she only wanted Nutella sandwiches. I sighed. "What do you want then?"
"You know. Sliced cheese and turkey sandwiches, fruit snacks, good stuff. It's like you don't even try."
OMFG. I do not have time to be making elaborate lunches in the morning. I'm tired and I'm not going to do it.
"You are making your own lunch. I'll buy all the shit and you'll just have to do it yourself."
She was like:
These kids are so entitled. I know that we live in the lily white suburbs where 10 year olds wear Converse sneakers and have iphones. Where everyone owns a boat and they go on vacations on cruise ships.
They act so put upon when really they are being a bunch of a**holes. I am tired of the whining, moaning and complaining. I am tired of them acting like I do not do enough. There are like a million kids in this world who would be happy to trade places with them. I am over it.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I am not into it. I don't want gifts. I don't want breakfast in bed. I just want to kids to not cut their eyes at me, not say anything rude to me, not accuse me of not doing enough, and to clean their room and bathroom. That's it.
I remember when they were cute, little and loved me all the time. Having big kids might be less physically demanding but this s**t is for the birds. Having big kids is totally overrated. In 14 months I'll have a damn teenager in the house. Let me survive the next 6-8 years. Please pray for me.
Anyway, tomorrow is Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to my own mother who I know is smirking and enjoying the payback. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who have young children who they still adore and dote on. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who can't possibly imagine a time when they will want to throttle their children - have a nice time with that s**t while it lasts. Lastly, Happy Mother's Day to all the bad moms out there like me. May your sleeping- in game be strong and your glasses of wine be many. Don't forget that while the grind of motherhood is all encompassing, it's not forever so enjoy these little brats now. Someday you'll miss them, but at least you'll have much more disposable income. Bad Mom Award.
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