Christmas Is Coming

                            
Christmas is coming. I hate to mention that before Thanksgiving but it's true. The stores have their decorations out and they are already playing 24/7 Christmas songs on the radio. Resistance is futile.

Last Christmas was a f*cking nightmare. Which, I forgot about until my 12 year old reminded me the other day. "Remember last Christmas when we didn't get to eat Christmas Eve dinner until 9:00 at night and you forgot to get a gift for the dog and me and dad had to do that?"

I had forgotten. Like childbirth, I only remembered the good parts. My memory was jogged. Last year, we ordered all new appliances for the kitchen and there was an issue with the order and they wound up getting delivered the afternoon of Christmas eve. They couldn't get the fridge inside so they had to TAKE OFF my front door. They couldn't install the stove because we used the cord from the old stove. My husband had to figure it out. The waterline to the dishwasher broke. I was terrible.

After our appliances finally were in place, my husband discovered that I never purchased a gift for the dog and he took the kids to Target to buy her one. They acted so offended that I didn't buy her one. I was like, "She's a DOG. She's not one of our children. She doesn't have higher thinking, she doesn't understand the concept of Christmas."
They looked at me like I was some kind of asshole.

While they were at Target, I made dinner and then had to hand wash all the dishes after because the dishwasher was broken. It was unacceptable. *First World Problems*

Somehow, one of my younger child's gifts never made it under the tree. They only get 4-5 gifts so that mattered. I found it in the garage two weeks later and had to pretend like Santa forgot it and came by the house to amend his mistake. I am a terrible mother. I hate myself.

In my defense, it was CRAZY last year. We brought the house around Halloween, went on our cruise a few weeks later, then it was Thanksgiving, concerts, tree lightings, parades, performances, gymnastic competitions, parties, my oldest got sick. I was barely keeping my head above water.

This year, I've vowed to be different. I am already ON POINT. I've finished all of my Christmas shopping for the girls including their stocking stuffers. I've purchased gifts for the cats and dogs. I've gotten gifts for my nieces and nephews. I've even done my Christmas cards.

I am going to ENJOY this Christmas season and not stress. Plus, I have a fully functioning kitchen- so I have that going for me.

The kids gave me their list earlier this month. My youngest wants anime merchandise and clothes. My oldest asked for Nirvana and Green Day t-shirts. I was like, I didn't know we were still living in 1994. She also asked for a $55 sweatshirt that I will not get her. Seriously? No sweatshirt is worth $55. It was probably made by an 11 year old in Bangladesh. Just because it has some stupid brand on it, it's $55. NO.

I don't want her to be disappointed on Christmas morning but she doesn't believe in Santa anymore. I'm not ruining any magic. She will have a lot of gifts that she will LOVE and I'm confident that she'll be happy but I don't always get my kids EVERYTHING on their list. They are spoiled enough as it is and I won't feel bad about it. Christmas is not about getting gifts. I never have and never will go broke to give my kids Christmas. I'll report back on her level of sulking about not getting a $55 sweatshirt for Christmas.

My husband and I usually just get 1 gift, which we let the girls pick out. The other week, I was sweeping the floor and my husband said to me, "You really need a new broom. I'm going to buy you one for Christmas." He was joking, but there was some seriousness in his voice. "What's wrong with my broom?"
"Look how old and ratty it is," he replied.
"Are you really going to get me a broom for Christmas? That's kind of sexist."
"If you think that's sexist, I was also going to get you an apron that says, 'I KNOW MY PLACE' on it."
I laughed, "Gee! That's what I always wanted!"

I knew what I wanted for Christmas and then I forgot. I remember thinking, That's what I need! But that is it. It totally slipped my mind. I was very disturbed that I forgot what it was that I wanted. Then, the other day, I was looking for a safety pin and I went to where I keep my sewing supplies and I remembered. I wanted a new sewing box! My old sewing box cover came off and it was dingy and ripped and now all my stuff is in a jumble in a gallon size plastic bag. I do mending and sewing projects at least once a week (I love it almost as much as de-fuzzing) and it would be nice to have a new one.

I was so excited to tell my husband.
"I remembered what I want for Christmas!"
"What?"
"A new sewing box!"
"You can't be serious."
"I am. I need one. Have you seen my sewing stuff lately?"
"How can I tell people that I got my wife a sewing box for Christmas? That is just unacceptable."
"It's not. I want it. I am a very practical woman. There is nothing else that I need."
"You need a new broom."
"If you get me a new sewing box then I will accept the broom."