Halloween

                              
Halloween came and went again. The night before, we carved Jack O'Lanterns - our yearly tradition. My husband is in Germany for work and it seemed different without him, but we were in good spirits. I let each girl carve their own pumpkin. I am in charge of the gunk. They are damn divas and won't stick their hands inside of a pumpkin. "Ewwww!!! That's gross."
                                        
Whatever. Little do they know, one day when they have kids they'll get to clean up mountains of vomit. Sticking their hand inside a pumpkin will be easy-peasy after that.

After I cleaned out the gunk, they got to work on their designs while I sat at the table and separated the pumpkin seeds from the pulp. We put on our Halloween playlist and sang along to Lotion, Thriller, The Monster Mash...we were getting into the spirit.

The kids didn't want to just carve faces. Nope- that would be too easy. My oldest wanted to carve a skeleton and my youngest wanted to carve the symbol from Fairy Tail, which is this obscure anime show that she likes. Seriously, I walk into my bedroom sometimes and hear Japanese. My kids are weird.

We were having a great time until a vital piece of my 10 year old's design came off while she was carving. The freak out was epic. She threw down her knife and screamed, "THIS IS CRAP!!!" and began to cry. I was completely unprepared.
           
I accessed the damage. "It doesn't look that bad. You can't even tell."
"Yes you CAN! It doesn't even look like Fairy Tail anymore!!!"
"No one knows what that is except for you. It's a Japanese show."
"THEY KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!!"

Whoa! I had to come up with a solution- and quick- to tame the beast. "Let's save the piece that fell off and I can just hot glue it, maybe duct tape it...try some super glue maybe." She thought about it for a moment and gave me a look like she knew I was full of sh*t but she fell for it. "Okay. Just save that piece." I didn't, I knew it was a lost cause. Bad Mom Award.

They did a good job.

After we cleaned up, I made us hot chocolate and dessert and we sat down to watch Sleepy Hollow. Yes, things are different this year. My 12 year old declared. "Johnny Depp is HOT!!!"
Excuse me?
"Gross. He is the same age as your GRANDFATHER. Actually, he's 3 months older than your grandfather. That's weird."
She rolled her eyes at me. "I love Johnny Depp, mom. Get over it."

I guess it's not that weird. Johnny Depp was adorable in that movie. When I was 12, I wanted to marry Liam Neeson who was like, 45. He did it for me.
                                         
                                                         That's a man, right there.

I was also strangely attracted to the actor that played Jesus from Jesus Christ Superstar. I felt conflicted about it. I probably should have confessed to the priest and said some Hail Marys.
                                    
                                                        Look at those luscious locks. Jesus-style.

I knew a lady who had a crush on Jimmy Carter when she was in middle school. Haha. It could be worse.

Anyway, aside from the off-color comment from my 7th grader about Johnny Depp, it was nice evening.

The next day was Halloween. The kids came home from school so excited to go trick or treating. My oldest was supposed to go as Harley Quinn with T-man. As expected, her and T-man stopped hanging out and so she decided that she was going to go as a skull instead. I was pissed about it. "Dude! I spent $40 on your costume that you insisted on."
"Well, you're not going to have to spend any MORE money." Pain in the ass.

She came downstairs with a black dot on her nose and 3 lines on each cheek. I was not happy. "Seriously? What is this?"
"I'm a cat."
"You don't even have a tail."
She shrugged.
I was annoyed. "People are going to think you are too old to go trick or treating. Put some effort in or you are wearing the Harley Quinn costume OR you will not trick or treat."
She stomped upstairs but did as she was told. She is super talented with makeup and did an awesome skull face with a flower headband. "Much better."

My youngest's costume was on point. She looked adorable. A friend of mine came over with her 10 year old to trick or treat and we ran into some other friends. It was a great night. Our neighborhood is amazing on Halloween. My kids don't even know how good they have it.

We walked what felt like 10 miles and by the end of the night my girls had pillow cases FULL of candy. "Are you guys going to share some with me?" I asked. They were indignant. "No!" What they don't know is that I eat that sh*t when they are at school. Today I enjoyed a Snickers bar, a Kit Kat, AND an Airhead. BWHAHAHAHA!!!