Gutter Chic

                               
It's been so crazy around here and it's about to get worse.... The other morning my husband came downstairs and said, "Have you looked at the calendar for May? It's just insanity." Did I look at it? I created it. I simply share it with him through the Cozi app. I sighed, "I know. At least you get to go to Las Vegas for a week."

May - gymnastics, band practice, band events, meetings, orthodontic appointments, dance rehearsals, dance recitals, end of the year school events, awards ceremonies, business trips, college exams.....my family is doing all the things in the month of May. We leave for vacation on June 3rd.

Which is good, I should be excited about it but I am FREAKING out. I checked in and submitted all of our paperwork for the cruise but we haven't planned any of our excursions, I only have $32 in euros, I need to arrange transportation from the airport, the kids need summer clothes, I generally need to just tie up my loose ends....

I made a packing list for what we need which meant that I needed to take the kids shopping. They need bathing suits, shirts, tops and some dresses. My 10 year was so upset about the dresses.
"I don't want to wear a dress."
"You need to wear something nice when we go to the Vatican. They have a dress code."
"I want to wear shorts."
"It's a holy site. The pope lives there, you have to follow the rules."
           
"Who even cares about the pope?"
"Lots of people. Literally like, a billion people. All the Catholics."
"Whatever."

So we set off to buy clothes. It is my most hated task because I don't like any of the things my kids like. I let them express themselves through their clothing choices (within reason) but it kills me inside. I want them to wear khaki skirts, collared shirts and Sperrys and they want to wear grungy, dark clothes. If we are at a store and there is an item of clothing that looks like it's been sitting in a garbage can since 1992, they will want it. The best way to describe their style is "gutter chic". They make clothes like that - torn apart, faded, HIDEOUS. I can't handle it. They look like they are trying to join the Sex Pistols.
                      
They think that I'm "old" and don't know what "real style" is. Whatever.

 These pants + tight ratty tee shirt + Converse = what they wear everyday

Some of their clothes have writing on them, which I don't always read until after my kid is wearing them, because apparently I'm a negligent parent. These are a few of my favorite.

Life Lessons

LOL

Anyway, we were out shopping and I let them pick out their own clothes. I make them try them on and I have "Ultimate Veto Power." So they go back into the dressing room and I'm waiting. My 10 year old models her outfits. Cut out shoulders, weird zippers up the front, belly button showing.
"No, No and No."
"Ugggh! Why?!?!"
"Because they are not appropriate for your age."
"Well, you aren't appropriate for your age. You got married at 18. People should not be getting married and having sex at the age of 18. That's inappropriate. This is an example of how you make horrible decisions. How can you make decisions about what I wear when you don't have good judgement?"
                                      
She makes some legitimate points, but I still wanted to rip her face off. "Stop being an a**hole and go pick out some clothes that I will approve of." I called her an actual a**hole, because I'm the Mom of the Year.

She picked out 2 dresses that would work. Black dresses, but appropriate and past the knee. My oldest did a little bit better, she accepts her fate more than her sister. They got some really cute stuff for the trip.

They each got a bathing suit but need 2 more. I am letting them wear a 2 piece this year for the first time ever. I am regretting this decision. Me when I saw my daughters in a two piece bathing suit for the first time:
                                  
I never understood what people meant about having daughters and how hard it is. Now I know why - because bikinis. My 12 year old looks like she's 15 and I am not handling it well AT ALL. Hate it. It's terrible. Even my 10 year old looks like she's 13, a short 13 year old. Ugggggh!!!! Puberty is stupid.

That's why they made wine. For moms of cute tween/teen girls. It's a real struggle.

May we get through May without incident. We will power through, tie up our loose ends, finish our shopping. We now have dresses to visit the Vatican, now just to lecture my kids about behaving at the Vatican...