Then We Were Married

I KNOW I have told this story. I was going to link to it but it will take less time for me to re-write it then to go through 9 years of blog posts. But it's funny, so....

We got married on a hot Monday morning, June 24th, 2002. I put on my lace dress and fixed flowers in my hair. My boyfriend put on his Class A uniform. His parents had flown in from New Jersey to be our witnesses. We loaded into our electric blue 1995 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme and drove down to Witchia Falls, Texas to tie the knot.


I hated that car. Don't get me wrong, it was pimpin' but it broke down all the time. My boyfriend purchased it a few weeks before I got to Oklahoma. He was driving a Dodge Shadow he bought at an auction. It's tires were bald, the radio didn't work, it smelled weird, and there were bloodstains on the floor. To this day we call that car the "murder car." The Cutlass was an upgrade.

We went to Texas because if you were military in Texas, you could get a marriage license and get married right away. It was only a 45-minute drive. We pulled into the courthouse lot and his parents took our picture.
                  
We walked in and told the receptionist that we were getting married and they directed us to the marriage license floor. We went to apply. They asked us 20 questions - all of which were "yes." Are you a US citizen, are you 18, etc. We just kept saying yes. Then they said, "Are you related?" and we were like, "Yes!" Then we were like, "Wait- no!" They do that on purpose for laughs. We paid the $62 and they escorted us to a back hallway, where we were instructed to wait for the judge.

We all sat on a bench and my boyfriend was fiddling with our wedding rings - the way a 19-year-old boy would do. He dropped my wedding ring and it went rolling down the hallway. He went to retrieve it. He was fully on his hands and knees in his uniform trying to find this ring. I had a moment of panic. I hope this isn't a bad omen. He found it and his mother rolled his eyes.

The judge came out of a room and called us in. He was a big, red-faced Texas man who looked like he had his fair share of BBQ. He called us into an office. There were multiple desks with people working and in the corner were paper wedding bells. The judge instructed us to stand in the corner. We said our vows while his parents took pictures. There were going here and there, trying to get different angles. Meanwhile, Betty is typing away in the corner. It was bananas. We couldn't be serious. It was cringy and rediculous. We laughed through the entire thing. The judge definitely didn't think it was going to last. Then he said, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." He kissed me sweetly in the office corner and it was done. I was a wife. He was a husband. We became "WE".

We made the drive back to Oklahoma after. We were starved but there is NOTHING out there. It's desolate. Right near the border was a gas station that had a McDonalds in it. I was down for a burger. We got gas and then had lunch at the McDonalds in the gas station. People looked at us like we were insane but whatever. We always laugh that our wedding cost $75 if you count our McDonald's reception.

When we got back to Oklahoma, we went on base to get my ID card and health insurance. The people on base were like, "You just got married today? Why are you here?" We are utilitarian and it made sense to do it all in one day. He didn't have a lot of leave. That night, his parents treated us to dinner at the fanciest restaurant in Lawton, OK. Red Lobster. We ate the shit out of some Cheddar biscuits. I begged them to buy us champagne. I had brought champagne flutes. They said no. That we were underage. I was disappointed.

We got back to the apartment late. His parents were staying in our apartment because the flights alone were a small fortune. We let them sleep in our bed because his parents were older and with backs that would not tolerate our futon. So we got the futon on our wedding night. I sliced strawberries and filled our champagne flutes with Sprite. We laid on the futon and watched Castaway and enjoyed our "treat."

Then I was like, "Are we going to consummate our marriage?" and he was like, "Dude, my parents are literally in the next room." I shrugged, "So what? It will be like good old times. Plus, now we can't get in trouble." He was like, "Okay." hahahahaha. It makes me laugh so much. Trashiest wedding day ever. But I love it so much. It is so us.

That was 18 years ago. I have now been married half my life. HALF OF MY LIFE. Definitely, the better half. We have lived a lot of life in 18 years. It doesn't seem that long. I thought I loved him them but I couldn't even comprehend then what we have now.

When the lust and the intensity of your early relationship starts to fade away, people become afraid. That they aren't in love anymore, that things are forever changed. But if you can walk through that fear, it becomes replaced with something else. With something better. The level of intimacy and friendship and passion that comes from a good, long-term marriage is something that cannot possibly be put into words.

My husband is my best friend. He is my person. He is my shelter from the storm. He knows what I'm thinking before I even think it. We have grown up together. We have made it work. No matter what. Even when things are hard, even when they seem impossible - one thing is certain - that we have each other to lean on.

When you find the person who inspires you to be a better person, who believes in you, who will be on your team - hold onto them.

To my dear husband - I love you. I would move heaven and earth to be by your side. If there is one thing that I've done right in my life-it's choosing you. Thank you for being on this life journey with me. For always making our family a priority. For being my rock and for loving me always. Here's to us!