Gross

On Friday my husband ate some bad pizza from Pizza Hut and as a result he suffered from food poisoning all weekend. I felt so bad for him. Men are so melodramatic when they are sick. He was laying in bed moaning that he was dying. I was trying to get him to take medicine and drink some water and he looked up at me with big sad eyes, "But I'm going to throw it up." We went to dinner at a relative's house so the kids wouldn't bother him.

On the way home from dinner I was giving the kids a pep talk. "Guys, when we get home do not go in mom and dad's room because daddy is really sick." My daughter said, "Well, I'm just going to put on my pajamas and play a game so dad does not throw up on me. If he does throw up in bed you can just clean it up." "Why do I have to clean it up?" I asked. "Because you are the person in our family that cleans up the throw up."

Yup. That's me. I am the official vomit cleaner upper. I have cleaned a fair amount of vomit in my lifetime. That's something that you don't think about before you have kids - how many times a year you will spend wiping vomit from little bodies and bed sheets - or my favorite, hosing down car seats. There are so many nooks and crannies for chunks to "hide". I always feel like vomit in my house occurs in the middle of the night. I wish my family could vomit at more convenient times of the day. There is nothing worse than to be awoken in the middle of the night with a crying child followed by "Splash." That is real life stuff. It pushes you to your limit.

I feel like that is the function of morning sickness - to make moms comfortable with vomit. I puked so much when I was pregnant that it doesn't even phase me anymore. I can just mop it up and have it on me and I don't even get grossed out.  I am glad that my daughter recognizes this skill. I am going to put that on my resume. I am a Regurgitation Sanitation Coordinator.