Outta Paper

So, we almost ran out of toilet paper last week. That was annoying. I usually am a pretty good judge of when we need to buy more but there was none on sale the week before and we had 8 rolls. On a normal week this is okay but a bloody nose and allergies type of week can really deplete the stash.

I used to buy tissues but then figured out that I might as well just light dollar bills on fire because my kids would use them as barbie blankets. One day they took them all out of the box and lined them up one after the other to cover the living room floor. That was awesome.

So I stopped buying tissues and the kids waste toilet paper instead. I have discussed this in length with them but somehow this has not changed anything. This many pieces for a #1, this many for a #2. The next minute my kid is in the bathroom wrapping the toilet paper around her entire hand. The hand must be covered before wiping occurs. *face palm* By last Thursday we were down to our last roll of toilet paper. I did not have time to go to the store until Friday evening so we needed to really ration this last roll. I would be cooking dinner and I would hear "MOM, I NEED TOILET PAPER". I would take the toilet paper upstairs, of course during dinner someone would have to use the bathroom. I'm so lazy, I'm like, "Here, just use a napkin." My daughter looked at me like I was crazy, as if I handed her a hairbrush. "It's paper - just use it." For 2 days the toilet paper roll floated around the 3 bathrooms in the house. So annoying.

I came home to eat lunch and used the restroom and of course no toilet paper. I am alone in the house and I took the empty roll and I am trying to rip the last tiny shreds from the roll, as if that was going to do something for me. Then I'm looking in the magazine basket next to me thinking - which one of these have I read already? Awful.

Thankfully my husband saved the day and brought home toiler paper that evening. It was an urgent matter.

Before toilet paper was invented, people used to use corncobs. On a rope. Next time I see my kids wasting toilet paper, I am going to put a corncob on the back of the toilet seat.