Attack of the Mom Brain

Today I was having lunch with some co-workers and I am standing there looking at the menu when I let out a huge *GASP*. Holy crap! I forgot my purse. Except I didn't really. It was on my shoulder the entire time. I just thought I didn't have it because it was not directly in front of me. I do crap like this all the time. It's because of my mom brain. When I gave birth to my children all of my brain cells melted and went straight into my breastmilk and then out of my body. I am now left with this:

                                             

     I feel like I had much better mental clarity before I had children. I don't know if it was the years of sleep deprivation or too many hours of Nick Jr or days without sitting that caused my brain to not function correctly but has never returned. I am apt to lose my car in the parking lot (where did I park again...), realize that my skirt is inside out when I get to work, put the milk in the cabinet instead of the refrigerator, frantically call out for my child when she is standing right behind me, cry when I can't find my keys and realize that I put them on top of the car before I buckled the kids in.......What the heck? I am a somewhat intelligent person but my short term memory is all shot to hell. This will come advantage to the children later on. "Let's go to the mall." "But we're grounded." "She'll forget about that within the next half hour....."

I feel like my mom brain has also caused my personality to change. Like I am amused by the most unamusing, inane things. In the way that drunk people are. For instance, last night my daughter came up to me and said, "Mom, what's a mummy's favorite type of music?" "Wrap." I laughed. Hysterically. My husband looked at me like I was out of my mind. I am out of my mind. It's all mush in there.

It least I can blame it on the strange things I do. Like next time he catches me eating a Skittle off the kitchen floor I will say, "I forgot that was socially unacceptable - it's my mom brain you know...."