The Bedtime Routine

Bedtime is usually pretty easy in my house. My kids are old enough now to know that resistance is futile. So they cooperate- most of the time. We divide and conquer. I make sure the kids pick out their PJs and shower and my husband is the over-seer of the teeth brushing. One of us reads to the 6 year old and the 8 year old usually reads a novel. Then we lay and bed and talk for a few minutes and leave the room. Last night it did not go so smoothly.

I initiated the bedtime routine a 1/2 hour later than I should have. My 6 year old was being a complete you-know-what. "It's time to get in the shower." "I want to take a bath." Baths in my house are not just baths, they are 2 hour events that involve Barbie dolls and goggles and the kids asking for cups and spoons to make "soup". At 8:00, it was much too late for a bath night. "Not tonight, it's too late - get into the shower." She looked at me, "I am not taking a shower." Fudge! This is when I bring in the back ups. The kids will say "no" to me but when I get dad involved, they get their act together quick. He can just look at them and they will do it. I looked to my husband but he was on the phone with a co-worker talking about routers and power cycling and some other bulls**t. He was not able to lay down the law at that moment. "Take off your clothes and get in the shower - now." "NO!" Then I turned into this:

"YOU WILL GET IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!" I picked her up and put her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and went into the bathroom. I turned on the shower. I began to take off her dirty clothes and she turned herself into a limp noodle. Typical. Then I picked her up to put her in the shower and she was holding onto the sides of the door. It is taking every shred of energy I had in my body to get her into the shower. I am a tiny 5 foot tall 120 pound woman. I was worn out. I finally got her in, but not without my hair getting wet. As soon as she hit the water she sat down and shot me daggers. "WASH YOUR BODY AND YOUR HAIR!" I shut the shower door. For 10 minutes I suffered from PTSD from that battle.

I had some time to calm down and after 20 minutes she emerged from the shower happy as can be. "Put on your pajamas, brush your teeth and go to your room - I'll wait for you." I went into her room and I figured that I would pick out a book tonight. We have literally hundreds of kids books yet some how my kids always pick out books that I hate or are too long. So I picked out the Velveteen Rabbit. Not a light hearted pick, but a classic. I laid in her bed with the book and I tried not to fall asleep.

She came in ready for bed and said to me, "I hate that book. Can I pick one?" Typical. :) I gave her the book to put back and I watch her walk over the the bookcase. "Don't look," she says. I close my eyes. "Just face the wall." Really? She rolls her eyes, "Mommy, just do it." I turn around and after a few minutes I hear the pitter patter of her feet on the carpet. She hands me a book. The Grinch that Stole Christmas. A very appropriate read for a muggy August evening. She curled into bed next to me and I held up the book. "Look, they put a picture of your father on the cover!"

We giggled. I read the book. She tells me that Cindy Loo-Who is cute and we get to the part where the Whos are singing after the Grinch steals their stuff. She turns to me and says, "Christmas is not about presents. It is for love and family and thanking God for our family and for Jesus." Awwwww - that comment negated all the annoying things she did the past hour. So cute. Then I got to the end where he carves the roast beast. "Mom, it's roast beeF." "No, it actually says roast beast." "Roast beeF." "Well, actually if you look at the word there is an "st" at the end of it because the word is beast." "IT"S BEEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Okay - it's beef. Then I kissed my little dictator and told her I loved her and wished her a good night!