Girl Songs

I feel like I have a good taste in music. I grew up listening to the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Led Zepplin, Rush...my dad exposed us to an awesome amount of classic rock. I like some pop and rap and a fair amount of indie. When I had kids I gave up my love for good music and purchased a variety of children's music. The Wiggles, the Ditty Bops, Dan Zane, Raffi, and a variety of other classic children collections. For the past 7 years my house and car has been inundated s**t like this:

The problem with kids songs is that they stick in your head FOREVER. For instance, when the kids are with me and I see a banana, my natural reaction is to put it up to my ear and start singing Raffi's "Banana Phone." This week I caught myself singing the Wiggles classic "Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy" as I sliced kiwi. My husband and I sometimes breakout spontaneously into "Joshua Giraffe." We pretty much have no dignity.

I have kept a fair amount of children's CDs in my car and every morning I would get in and hope that my kids are oblivious to the fact that I am enjoying grown-up music on my radio. "Put on a kids song, mom." Their favorite is this classic kid CD that sounds like it was recorded in someone's basement with a Casio keyboard circa 1991. The first song on the CD is "The Wheels on the Bus". They often request to hear it again when it is done....and again. The song is 1:14 long so I would hear it like 8 flippin times before they were dropped off at school. Made me want to drive myself into a telephone pole. I assumed they would outgrow this music after preschool but I was so wrong. Sometimes they would let me hear more than the first song and on those days I was almost grateful for Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

After 7 years of this, I had just had enough, one morning I flipped out this past May. I couldn't take it anymore. I dropped the kids off and when I got to work I took the kids CDs into my office and they now live in my desk hutch. I was going to throw them away but I felt kind of guilty about it. So I picked them up that day and they requested a kids song and I pretended to look for the CDs and I was like, "Oh my God! They're gone!" I just acted like I didn't know what happened to them. "Put in that red CD." Christmas music. We listened to Jingle Bells that afternoon in May. The next day I brought the Christmas music to work to live in my hutch.

So now we listen to the radio and my kids-  most of the time- are agreeable. They like Mumford and Sons, The Talking Heads, a fair amount of age-appropriate pop. I have noticed however that women are under-represented in the music world. My kids are agreeable MOST of the time but there are the dreaded days where my youngest will say, "Put on a girl song." It can't be a song about a girl, it needs to be a song being sung by a girl . Not just any song being sung by a girl, it needs to be up to her standards. I will flip through the stations and usually 90% of the songs are being sung by males. Usually I can find one that is acceptable. But sometimes I can't. Sometimes there are commercials. I get berated and whined at. "There are no girl songs, pick something else." "But I want a girl song." "But there are no girl songs." "But I want one." "YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT. THIS IS A LIFE LESSON!!!!!!!" Then she usually is quiet.

God forbid a song comes on that she really likes. "Mom, put on that song again." "I can't sweetie, it's the radio." She looks at me like I am a liar. "You're mean." FML.