Humping

So today was any other typical Tuesday evening. We were on our way home from Moe's night and we were having a nice time and then my eight year old asks me out of the blue, "Mom, do you know what humping is?" Holy crapballs. I wasn't prepared for that one. "Of course, that's my area of expertise." Just kidding, I didn't say that. I said, "What do you think it is?" She said, "It means s-e-x." She spelled it. *Sigh* My youngest was oblivious to the conversation (thankfully). So I said, "When we get home, let's talk about it."

So the rest of the way home I am trying to come up with a game plan. I decided I was going to figure out where this was coming from and then talk about the facts. When we got home I put my youngest in the shower and I sat down and said, "So, tell me again what humping means?" "S-e-x." I took a deep breath, "Do you know what word that spells?" "Sex." "What is sex? Where did you hear about it?" She went on and said some friends from school were talking it and it was a secret. I said, "What is sex?" She shrugged. I asked if her friends knew what it meant. She said that she didn't think so. I said, "Do you remember how we talked about the sperm from a man that joins together with an egg from a women to make a baby? That's what happens when a man and a women have sex." She thought for a minute and asked, "Well, how exactly do they do it?" Oh God. "Well, when a man and a woman get married and they love each other very much a man puts his penis into his wife's vagina and that is how the sperm gets to the egg." I can't believe I said it with a straight face. My daughters eyes got big and she said, "Really?" Then she had a long pause and said, "You mean, you and dad had sex?" I was not wanting to even go there and kind of wanted to jump off the roof and run away at that point but I didn't and I said, "Well, we love each other very much, so yes." She crinkled her nose and said, "That's gross and kind of weird." I agree. Parents doing IT is a pretty disgusting proposition. Then she said, "So, when did you do it?" I was pretty much done with the questions at that point and this one was pretty loaded in my opinion - so I lied. "When I married your father." "You were 18 when you got married, so you were 18?" "Yes." So then I said, "Do you have any other questions?" She said no and she seemed at ease. I said to her, "You know, you are going to hear a lot of things about sex from friends at school and music and TV and you will probably have a lot more questions about sex as you get older and when you do we can talk about it together and you can ask me ANYTHING you want, don't be embarrassed. It is normal to have questions about stuff you don't know about. BUT PLEASE, don't talk about this stuff to your sister because that is going to be my job in a few years. Deal?" She gave me a high five. "Deal."

I think I did a fairly good job considering I was kind of put on the spot. Sex is everywhere. In TV, music, at school (from older siblings and upperclassmen). Sex is everywhere and everyone is doing it but nobody talks about it. Kids/teens are conditioned to think it's this dirty, secretive, mystical thing and I want my kids to not feel that way about it. I want them- as they become adults, to view sex as a special and wonderful event that should not be shared recklessly. That it is a normal part of being a human and being in a monogamous relationship. I am glad that at 8 my daughter can ask me about sex and not be embarrassed and we can talk about it and have a running conversation. I hope that she can do the same when she is 10,12,16,18..... I hope it get easier and less awkward. We'll see about that. What I do know is that the next time my husband gives me the "eyes" I'm going to tell him that "That's gross and kind of weird." :)