Cooking Onions

On Thursday night my 8 year old came up to me and said, "Mom, I need to wear deodorant." I looked at her like she had 3 heads. "Why?" She said, "Well, sometimes I get so hot and sweaty at school when I play  it smells like I am cooking onions in my arm pits." She didn't make that statement up. She overheard it. My husband tells me that I smell like I am cooking onions when I am sweating. I tell him it's not B.O., it's my mating scent. My cheese steak smell brings the boys to the yard........ I think he is full of crap and that I smell awesome, but whatever.

So I said, "Okay." Then she added, "I think I am getting hairy armpits." I was thinking that I needed to call an endocrinologist ASAP. "Let me see." She lifted up her arms and there was not a strand, not peach fuzz, not even any lint. Praise God. But it did smell very flowery. "Did you put on my deodorant?" She nodded. I told her I would think about that whole deodorant thing.

So I thought about. We are kind of strict about keeping our kids children for as long as possible. I don't shelter them but I am not exactly in a rush for them to grow up. We don't let the kids wear bikinis, I won't let them get their ears pierced until they are teenagers, ect. I decided that I could give on the whole deodorant thing. I mean, it's pretty benign. If she really is getting sweaty and stinky and uncomfortable at school it's important that it gets corrected. Nobody wants their kid to be the smelly kid at school.

The next morning I told her that I would get her deodorant. She was soooooo excited. Weirdly excited. "Can I pick it out?" "Sure," I said.

So that night we went to the grocery store to get food and pick out the deodorant. We had to walk by the douche section to get to the deodorant. Gotta be fresh from head to toe, I guess. We stood in front of all the deodorant. "Can I get whatever one I want?" I told her she could and we were there for 20 minutes. She was opening them all and smelling them. People were walking by looking at us like we were crazy. She finally made a choice.
                                     
The cap is pink and sparkly. I didn't like the whole Twilight Kiss implications. I said, "Does that mean I have to kiss your armpits before bed?" She rolled her eyes at me.

When we got to the checkout she handed it to the cashier and said, "Could you leave this out?" She just carried it around proudly. I had to laugh to myself. The whole deodorant thing will get old pretty quick. Like bras and maxi pads and all the other female paraphernalia that the next 5 years will bring.

When she got home she showed her little sister who was jealous. "I need deodorant too. My armpits smell like trash and nipples." I am not sure what trash and nipples smell like exactly but whatever. I told her not to rush. They are making me feel old.