The Trip Part 3

                 
On Tuesday morning, I was up early - around 6 am. The sun was just coming up. My husband stirred as well and turned to me. We had a quiet conversation. Both the kids were sleeping like logs. I may or may not have some inappropriate things to him. We started talking about our plans for the day - Vatican City. I had pre-purchased our Vatican museum tickets and food vouchers. "If we see the pope, I'm going to ask him if he sh*ts in the woods."

My daughter (who I thought was asleep) burst out in laughter.
"Oh, you're awake?" I said, surprised.
She sat up in bed. "Yes. I've been awake this whole time, and also, you are a disgusting person."
                                 
The reason I said that is because it's my father's favorite one-liner. If you ask him a stupid question, he'll reply with, "Does the pope sh*t in the woods?" It's ludicrous and makes us laugh every time.

Although we are not practicing Catholics, my husband and I were raised Catholic. My family was on and off again mass attenders, but I was confirmed in the Catholic church. My husband was raised VERY Catholic. His mom was always at church, they had a virgin Mary in the front yard, there were Jesus pictures and crucifixes EVERYWHERE in his house. In high school, we'd be sitting on his couch and he'd try to kiss me and I'd look up and see
                                             
"Uggggh! Get away from me. You need some holy water."

I'd go to Spanish mass with them sometimes. Spanish mass was so much longer than English mass. English mass was great - sing a hymn, hear a scripture, peace be with you, kneel and sit, kneel and sit, communion and doughnuts and coffee about an hour later. Efficient. Spanish mass was long, they did the rosary like a million times. I can STILL recite Hail Mary in Spanish.

So, we were excited to go to the Vatican because of our Catholic upbringing but also because we are both obsessed with the HBO show The Young Pope. Every time we watched a new episode, I would get excited and say, "Ohhhhh! We're going to be there in June!"

My oldest daughter was excited to see the Sistine Chapel. She did a project in 6th grade on Michelangelo and is weirdly obsessed with him. We went all out for this project- I even purchased a Michelangelo costume (yes, that is an actual thing) that is still on my garage. The 2 things she was looking forward to on this trip was: the Sistine Chapel and Michelangelo's grave in Florence.

We got dressed and ready to go. They had beautiful dresses on and they looked like such pretty young ladies. We took the bus to Vatican City and walked into St. Peter's square which was such a surreal experience. I'm used to seeing aerial views of the square and it was weird to be in the middle of it. The bells from St. Peter's Basilica began to chime and my husband and I just looked at each other in disbelief. It was real, we were finally there.

The queue for the Basilica was already much too long so we made our way to the museums. We already had our tickets so we got to skip the huge line that had formed. The Vatican museums were like nothing we could even imagine. It is one of the most beautiful places in the world. It was also VERY crowded. "I'm enjoying my visit to the Vatican with 30,000 of my closest friends," I said to the children.

The girls were as much in awe as we were. We examined the paintings, the tapestries, the statues as we followed the hordes of people through to the Sistine chapel.
                                
After what seemed like a LOT of walking, we made it. It was jam packed with people but we made our way through, in awe of the art and beauty. We stood directly in the middle, underneath the depiction of God and Adam and looked up.
   
My oldest was so ecstatic. She explained to us how he painted in lying on his back and how it took years and ruined his eyesight. It made her year. It was so cool.

After we explored the Sistine Chapel, we took a break in the Pinecone Courtyard and rested our feet.
                         
It had a weird globe thing in the center. "Illuminati confirmed," my 10 year old laughed.

We sat out there for a while, basking in the warm Italian sun and watching a 2 year old chase pigeons and then we explored the rest of the museums. There was an awesome Egyptian wing but the Pio-Clementino was my favorite. There were so many Roman and Greek statues. Absolutely stunning and breath taking.
                             

                             
                                         
                                                     Pictures don't do it justice.

We spent over 6 hours exploring and ended our visit in the gift shop. The children wanted to pick out rosaries. We aren't Catholic but okay. They each picked one out and the lady behind the counter held up the rosary that my 10 year old picked out and said in broken English, "This is for your first communion."

We paid for the rosaries and handed the bags to the children. My youngest smiled and said proudly, "I just got my first communion." My husband and I died. We laughed so hard we were crying. Then we explained to her about communion in the Catholic faith and that the rosary would be given as a gift to commemorate one's first communion. "Oh," she said, a little disappointed. "That seems like a lot of work."

Then we walked down this crazy spiral staircase to the exit.
                        
I only wish that Jude Law was there. Seriously, everything at the Vatican is beautiful and amazing. It was one of the highlights of our trip. LOVED IT.

We were all exhausted and our feet were sore. We took a bus back to our hotel. The bus was hot and crowded. As we approached our stop we made our way to the door. The bus doors opened and my 10 year old stepped out. As soon as she did, the doors closed and the bus started to move again. We screamed. My 10 year old just stood on the sidewalk with a look of fear in her eyes.
                                     
The bus driver immediately stopped and let us off. Only a few seconds had elapsed but still enough to freak us out. So let's recap: Day 1 in Rome: abandoned by a bus driver at 10:30 at night in the middle of nowhere Rome. Day 2 in Rome: Sat on the bus for 15 minutes hungry and watched a bus driver eat a sandwich with his friends. Day 3 in Rome: Bus driver drops 10 year old off on the street without parents and attempts to drive away. The Roman bus system was 0-3 so far in our eyes.

All is well that ends well though. We stumbled across this neighborhood pizzeria that was THE BOMB. They had a huge spread of 20 different types of pizza. They charged by the pound. We were pointing everywhere: we want a slice of this, a slice of that, a slice of this....it was $17. We laid out the pizza and sampled each other's selections and watched as the locals came in, with their Vespa helmets in hand. They ordered 1-2 slices of pizza, you know, because they are not fat Americans.

We collapsed when we got to the hotel. "We are sleeping IN tomorrow and then heading to the port," I told everyone.
"Only one more Roman bus ride," my husband said with a smile.