The Trip Part 5

                      
On Friday, we arrived in Cannes, France. The ship anchored and we had to tender into the the port. We were on the second half of the guests getting off. As we were waiting to get to shore we met this couple from England. The husband was a former pathologist and the wife taught at the boarding school Princess Diana attended. They were fascinating. I could have talked to them all day.

We got to shore around lunchtime. It was amazingly beautiful.


We walked down the sidewalk along the beach and surveyed all the restaurants. The kids picked a bougie looking place where we could sit outside and overlook the French Riviera. I felt like a real life movie star. I took 5 years of French in high school and I actually got to practice speaking French - to actual French people! I was super excited about it. The kids were a little bit impressed. Okay, not openly but maybe inside.

The food was AMAZING. I had this steak salad with roasted red peppers, artichokes, sun dried tomatoes...

                                                              GET IN MY BELLY

Then we headed to the beach. I wanted a chill day, we had been going non-stop and we wanted to just relax and swim in the clear blue Mediterranean. That's what we did. The water was freezing cold but I went in anyway. The kids were loving it. The views were fantastic.

I had told the kids before we left that I was going to go topless in Europe. They didn't believe me.  I told them ahead of time. I was kind of fascinated by the idea that you can do that there. There were a few other topless women, it wasn't a big deal. I took off my top and laid on my stomach to read a book. I wasn't frolicking up and down the beach.

My oldest daughter did not care. My youngest flipped out. Completely lost her shit. "You are disgusting mom. Seriously, I can see the top of your nips."
"Don't look then. Go swimming."
"But people can SEE you."
"No one is looking at me."

Then she cried actual tears. So, I sat up and put my top back on. She was so pissed. "REALLY? You had to sit up?" I didn't realize she would feel so strongly about it. Of all the kids to be weird about it, my kid? The child of a lactation consultant?

Breasts have been a part of their childhood. I have always worked in women's health. They have grown up with me putting together presentations of breasts, they would help me put together my demo breast pumps, they've walked by me watching hand expression videos, I had a fake silicone boob I used to use for education and I would have it out sometimes, I would review the pictures in the breastfeeding atlas. I talk about nipples and the anthropology of breasts at the dinner table- we always have. On my bookshelf you'll find The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, Rediscovering Birth, cultural histories of the penis, human sexuality and menstruation, The Breastfeeding Answer Book. I have a degree in Human Ecology, it's my area of study. I'm also kind of a hippie and so that all seems normal to me. I literally have zero hang ups about the human body. ZERO.

Needless to say, I wasn't freaked out about my kids seeing women topless. I was actually kind of glad about it. I kind of wanted them to see real women's bodies. Boys shower together in locker rooms but girls don't. Many times the only images that girls will see of another woman's bodies is in movies. Thin women, with perfect curves, and perky breasts. F*ck that.

Over half of the women I have seen over the years complain to me about their breasts. They are too big, too little, one is bigger than the other, nipples are too flat, too big, too little, ect. I'm always a little bit confused because it all seems pretty normal to me. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big, some are little, some hang high, some hang low, some are pointy, some are saggy, some nipples are big, some are little, some people have extra nippeles..... Guess what? All of that is okay. Babies don't care, They work with what they have. Men certainly don't care. Women are their own worse critics.

Why does this matter to me? Because I have daughters. I am very aware of the messages I am sending to them and I try to model body positivity. I love my body. It's not perfect. It's a mom body but what am I supposed to do? Hate it? NO! Ain't nobody got time for that. My body tells stories. It's been a lot of places, it's been good to me. I embrace and pay homage to my body.

My girls will say things to me about my body. I feel like they are testing me, or trying to get my opinion - maybe they are just straight assholes and are insulting me on purpose. That's a possibility. I always turn it back around. They tease me for being flat chested. I don't care. "These things gave me 4 years of good service and kept you alive. More than a...."
My husband cut me off with a pissed off look. What I was going to say was, "More than a hand full is a waste-full." I am not a legit parent.

Then the thighs. My kids always complain about their thighs. What is moronic, because they are thin girls. It starts in middle school. One day in the spring my oldest daughter came home all upset because some girl told her that you can only be "pretty" if you have a thigh gap.

I was like:
                 
What the hell are you going to do with a thigh gap? "Well, first of all - you shouldn't really take advice from 12 year old girls because they have no life experience. Second of all, that is stupid. If you're going to have a good butt you need some generous thighs to hold it up. Thick thighs save lives. You are beautiful inside and out!"

Now I have some big-ass thighs. Those things could keep you warm at night. They have stretch marks, they are kind of dimply. I don't care. I embrace them. I make it known. I was changing one day and my daughter came in and she said to me sadly, "I feel like I'm going to have your legs when I grow up." Like she was disappointed.

I smiled at her. "Really? Wow! You are so lucky. I'm a sexy lady. Thick girls are where it's at!"

I always tell them not to judge other people for their looks or their bodies and I always cut them off when they judge their own. I tell them all the time that CONFIDENCE is sexy and beautiful. Being smart and funny and KIND is sexy and beautiful. Not a thigh gap and a 6-pack. You don't have to have the perfect body to be comfortable in your own skin. I hope they are listening a little bit.

Anyway, the whole point of this tangent is that women should love their bodies and if they want to be topless in France, they should.

After we spent the day relaxing on the beach, we went to a Popsicle stand and ordered treats. I had a cappuccino and dulce de leche that was so delicious. Then it was time to get back to the ship.

We had dinner and saw a dancing show called Burn the Floor. It was really good, we were entertained. Next stop: Spain.