The Trip Part 7

  
On Monday we had a day at sea which was awesome and totally needed. The kids slept in. My husband and I were up at 6, as usual. We had been having breakfast at the buffet because we needed to be quick and get off the ship early.

I wanted to sit down and have an actual breakfast. I wanted to be alone with my husband and have eggs Benedict. That's what we did. We told the kids we were having breakfast- they mumbled an acknowledgement- and we left them sleeping in the cabin to have breakfast together. We are garbage parents.

It was so nice. We had a leisurely breakfast and re-connected with each other. Then we started packing and waited for the kids to roll out of bed. We spent the day swimming on the top deck and sunbathing. Every time we passed a little island my husband and kids would point and declare, "Johnny Depp's island!" and laugh. It must be an inside joke.

I booked a dinner and show that they offer on the ship called Cirque Dream which was neat. They had all kinds of circus-type acts. We were seated for dinner and my husband and I had to get up to use the bathroom before the server came by. When we came back my 12 year old was laughing. "Oh my God! The waitress asked me if she could get me a class of wine."
"Did you say no?"
"I said I would like a soda."
She could pass for 15 or 16 if she is wearing makeup but not 21. What the hell?!?! I recalled the story of when my husband was served coffee with whiskey in it when he was 17. Idiots.

They show was really good but at some point there was this buff guy in a tub of water and then he was doing this acrobatic act with a woman. He was all wet and it was slightly erotic. My 10 year old turned to us and said, "When did this show turn into Magic Mike?"

How does she even know Magic Mike? Garbage parents. We laughed and laughed. She needs to be a stand up comedian the someday.

The next day we arrived in Naples and planned to spend the day in Pompeii. That was the place I was most looking forward to besides Rome. I've read books and watched all the documentaries about Pompeii. I was pumped. We took a taxi to the train station.

Naples was a little rough around the edges. I leaned into my husband, "Naples is like the younger brother of Rome and Florence that dropped out of high school and dabbled in drugs. You know what I'm saying?" He looked at me like I was insane, but he understood the point I was trying to get across.

The train dumped us off close to the entrance of Pompeii. It was pretty packed. We got our tickets and waited in line to go into one of the bathhouses. We were so excited. There were lots of people, kids and adults. We walked to the first room and look up at the painting on the wall and there were like, 5 different sex acts depicted on the wall. I'm not talking about your standard run-of-mill missionary. Depictions of cunnilingus, reverse cowgirl....Dear God. My husband and I were like,
                    
We didn't say anything, we just kind of walked through. The kids didn't say anything. They just acted like everything was normal but I know they saw them. Y'all better not be taking notes. 

I knew that there were some questionable things in Pompeii but I was under the assumption that I could re-direct. I didn't expect the first room of the first building we went into to be that graphic. Other than that, the rest of it was fine.

I was surprised by how HUGE the city was. We were there for 6 hours and didn't see the whole thing. It was also incredible how advanced their society was and the architecture was just stunning. To see murals and walk through buildings that were around in the time of Christ was humbling. It was so eerie to be there. To see the casts of bodies, forever frozen in their final moments. The people of Pompeii didn't realize that Mount Vesuvius was a volcano until it erupted. It was truly fascinating.
         
         

                            

We toured the houses and the amphitheater and the bathhouses. We walked up and down the stone streets and took it all in and got a good idea of what life was like for the people that lived there. It was definitely one of the highlights of the trip. It was on the top of my bucket list.

Of course, there were lots of penises. You could just be walking by and see stuff like this:
                                             
                          
My kids were like, "Look, there's another one!" They are everywhere. Pomeiians were obsessed.

You can't escape them even when you leave Pompeii. We went to have frozen lemonade and gelato across the street from the main entrance and they were selling olive oil in these giant penis containers that had happy faces on the top. Giant, happy olive oil penises. We'd seen so many this whole trip- statues, paintings, in stones. D*cks everywhere in Europe.

We sat down to eat my old oldest daughter said, "Do you know what I noticed? All of the penises in Italy are uncircumcised. Why?"
"How do you even know about that?"
"Because you are my mom and you sometimes talk about it."
I don't even realize the sh*t that comes out of my own mouth but I probably do say stuff all the time like, "Then the baby got his penis skin cut off and he was very unhappy."

So I did answer her question and talked about the cultural beliefs around circumcision and how religion can influence it, and how circumcision is much more common in the US than Europe and the purpose and function of the foreskin. I was spreading some anti-circumcision propaganda. "So uncircumcised penises are okay and they are not weird or gross and circumcised ones are okay too. They come in all shapes and sizes and you never make anyone feel bad about their body."

My husband was just sitting there like:
                  
I'm open. I don't think it's weird. I am a proponent for being body positive for MEN and WOMEN. We talk about unrealistic expectations for women but it's just as bad for men. Men are expected to have abs, muscular arms, be 6 foot tall, have a giant penis and a strong jawline AND make good money, be romantic, ect. Raising boys in this society is hard and they suffer from insecurity too. I think we downplay it and don't talk about it as much but it is a very real thing.

The truth of the matter is, whether I like it or not, my kids are going to be around penises one day. It's just a part of life. Hopefully, not a lot of them. Hopefully, just a couple. But when they do, they better not be a**holes about it or have unrealistic expectations.

We got back on the train and headed back to our last night on the ship. It made me sad that our adventure was ending but I was itching to get home. Nothing can last forever.