The Mommy Wars

I went away for work last week which was a nice break from the routine but hard for me to leave the kids. I had breakfast with this lady who was so funny and delightful. We talked about being working moms and all that comes along with it. We talked about how when our kids were babies we would go to these new mommy support groups. She said, "There should be support groups for moms like us." She is SO right. When I stayed at home with my babies, I really enjoyed it but it can be so hard. I would meet up with other moms and we would go to the park and hang out together and lament about the laundry that needed to get done and how many times the baby woke up in the middle of the night and how if we watched one more episode of the Wiggles we might just lose our minds. We had fellowship and connection. We felt validated in our choices. I need that so much now at this stage in my life (minus the Wiggles).

Shortly before my youngest turned 2, I returned to work full time. It was time for me. I was ready. Being a stay at home mom can be stressful. It's not just the housework, and the crying toddlers and the stress of being a one income family. It can be so isolating. But being a working mom is no walk in the park. No one knows guilt better than a working mom does.The days when you can't get time off and you miss a class party. The lack of time to do basic things like doing the dishes and putting away laundry. Trying to let go of the fact that other moms out there are judging you for working outside of the home (I was one of those moms, yikes!). It's like you can't win no matter what you do. Everyone wants to be a great mom. The mom that all the other moms are envious of. The ones who bake and are at every event and have immaculate houses. I am not one of those moms. I am a good enough mom. I try my best and that's all I can do.

I soooo want to start a moms groups. Moms Of School Age Kids (MOSAK for short). Working moms with kids ages 5-12 hang out in someones dirty house and drink wine and vent and complain about our guilt and our husbands and the kids homework and everything else. We wouldn't judge at MOSAK, we understand that sometimes kids get dry cereal for breakfast, that we sleep in sweatpants and shave our legs very infrequently, that sometimes we ignore the children to get a moment of piece, that the floors may be sticky but the children are mostly happy. That it's okay and that no mom is perfect. If you want to join-let me know.

I am going to go to bed now instead of finishing the dishes, I'll probably feel guilty about it. Just add it to the list.