This has not been a good week for me. I can't really go into detail but some days I feel like my life is stranger than fiction. Crazy things happen all the time. According to my sister, "I've always thought your life could be a Lifetime Movie." At least it's not boring.
I am busy surviving the summer vacation. Well, barely surviving. I am keeping some kids this summer - 11 year old girls and that has been keeping me busy. Yesterday I took them to the grocery store to get snacks.
"Do we have to stay next to you the whole time?"
"No, just stay together."
They disappeared and every 4 minutes they would come back with something in their hands and a sales pitch of why we need it.
"Can we get these oreos?"
"How much are they?"
"$3.99."
"No. That's expensive for cookies."
"C'mon. They're mint."
"Okay."
Somehow I purchased the following: a 4-pack of Starbucks vanilla coffee drinks, fudge rounds, mint oreos, Lucky Charms, Funyuns, Cheddar Ruffles, Doritos, 10 pack of Gatorade. What happened? I was outnumbered. I think kids just put things in my cart and ran away.
Next. we went to the library. I told them I was going to make them read 1/2 an hour a day and I'm sticking to it. They went to pick out books as I signed them up for the summer reading program. My eight year old came up to me and excitedly pulled on my shirt to get my attention. "Mom! Mom! Look what I found!"
I was like:
I relented. Just like I did with the mint oreos. I had to use the restroom before we left so I went in the stall, hung my purse up on the hook. I sat down and when I did the stall door just opens by itself. The ghost must have followed me. WTF? Why am I always interrupted in the bathroom? I can never take a piss without something exciting happening.
Afterwards we went to the store to get water guns and went home to make loaded baked potatoes for lunch. They had a water fight, read, made chocolate covered bananas rolled in coconut, crushed peanuts and jimmies and drew outside with sidewalk chalk. Later we walked the dog over to the neighbors house to draw on their driveway and visit their kitty cat.
They have a dog and my dog went into a attack mode. I tried to restrain her and she scraped the crap out of my leg. By the time it was pick-up for the other kids, I was pooped. I slept so well last night.
I hoped today would be less eventful. I was wrong. It started off easy enough. The girls came this morning and I needed to groom the dog so I let them help. They got in their bathing suits and we put her in the tub. After she was dried off, I clipped her nails and I let the kids give her a hair cut. They did an okay job but she's a little bare in some spots. She could be a homeless dog.
I decided to take them to the roller skating rink after lunch. My hubby came home for lunch and I made BLTs. After I told the kids to pack a snack and water for the car. As we were leaving they let the dog out who bolted and chased a cat into the neighbor's tree. The girls gathered around the tree and were in tears. "We need to get the cat down," they told me with big eyes. F*ck that cat, I thought. My husband had come to observe the commotion and he retrieved our ladder. The ground was uneven and I held the ladder as he climbed. He could not get to the very top step to reach her. It was too wobbly. I told him that I would do it if he held the latter.
I climbed up to the very top and coaxed the cat into my arms. Once I did I was like, "Shit! I can't get down." As I was figuring out what to do the cat freaked out. Started attacking me. Punctured my leg. I had no options. I couldn't throw the cat to it's death and I had to be still to avoid my own so I just screamed. The cat finally jumped down but left 4 puncture wounds in my ass. This is some off the aftermath. No butt pictures though because let's be honest- that would be gross.
I'm probably going to get cat scratch fever or turn into an undead cat person or something.
We went rollerskating which was fun. Then Sonic for slushies and home to read. At 3:45, I told the girls to load up so I could take my little one to gymnastics. My oldest was like, "You always leave me here when you drop her off. It's only 15 minutes. I don't want to go."
"Well, I am in charge of the other girls."
"Our moms ALWAYS leave us home alone. It will be fine." They protested going so much that I told them fine. I do usually leave my daughter during that time, she's old enough and they all have phones.
When I left it was starting to rain and there was thunder. Nothing out of the ordinary. I dropped my daughter off and it was raining more heavily. By the time I got to the corner on the way home it was torrential rain. It was coming down so hard and so fast. By the time I got to the stoplight near my house the roads were flooding and there was bad wind and lightning. I couldn't turn into the entrance of my neighborhood because the water was so high. I called the girls and they were crying.
"Mom, the power is out and there is water coming down the chimney. We're scared!"
Of course, I leave these kids for 15 minutes and the sky opens up like it's f*cking Armageddon.
I drive to the alternate entrance and the roads were really bad but not as bad as they were 1/2 a mile before. I had to drive in the center of the road in the middle of the streets in my neighborhood because the water was so high, I was sure I would stall out.
I pull up to the house and unlock the door and the girls were sitting on the couch holding each other. There were 20 candles on the table. My daughter gathered them and lit just one. She was waiting for me to light the others. There were towels on the floor by the chimney to soak up the cup of water that came down the chimney. They had everything under control. I lit the candles and we sat and waited out the storm.
A short time later our power came back and we put on a movie. Life returned to normal.....until tomorrow when more nutty things will go down. Help me.
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