What is Happening?

             
We are on day 10 of my husband being in California. I thought I was handling things pretty well. I've been holding in down. We had an exceptionally busy weekend. I woke up on Sunday morning feeling a little under the weather. I was congested and my throat was a little sore. I took some medicine, had a cup of tea and went about my day. I went to bed that night feeling okay.

I woke up in the middle of the night terribly congested and with a pounding headache. I was too tired to get out of bed and actually do something about it so I just laid there and fell back asleep. I was up again at 5 am and couldn't fall asleep, so I decided to get up and take some medicine. I boiled a pot of water and took my temperature. I had a low grade fever and my body ached. The bones in my face were so sore and I had a pounding headache. It seems that I'd developed a full blown sinus infection. In addition, this small pimple that I had above my lip had become a large monster-zit and it was hurting. I touched it and had pain on the inside of my mouth that ran down to my chin. Uggh.

I retrieved some towels for my steam treatment and realized I was out of tissues.
     
I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and set it down beside me. I stuck my face under the towel and breathed in the steam. It felt so good-my face hurt so bad. I tried to blow my nose but was getting no relief from my congestion. I felt awful.

BUT, I'm single mom status right now and there was no time to be ill. I had to get kids up and animals fed. I woke up the children, fed the animals and made breakfasts and lunch. I went to retrieve something from the car and I realized that the Jeep had a flat tire. Like- all the way flat. The Jeep is an SUV, it's my husband car. When he's not traveling, he takes the kids to school since it's on his way to work. When he's gone, I drive the kids in his car because I drive a Kia Rio. It's a tiny little car and gets great gas mileage but we take 2 other kids to school and it's just not big enough for that many children.

I look at the tire and I see there is a nail in it. Not a problem. I'm thinking that I'll put air in the tire and it will probably have a slow leak but should get us to school and then I'll go straight to the tire store to have it plugged.

My husband has this nifty air machine that plugs into the car lighter - so I get it out and I set it up. The tire had .01 PSI. I go to turn it on and it sputtered. Then it just completely shit the bed. It won't work at all. I'm plugging and unplugging it, trying to finagle it. Nothing. It had been acting up the past few times I used it and it is 10 years old but I needed it to work SO bad. I can change the hell out of a tire but I was not about to change the tire on the Jeep and put on a doughnut when we had to leave in 20 minutes. Then there was the fact that I had a fever and sinus infection. We were going to have to take the Kia.

New plan- take the Kia, go to the store and get a new air machine, go home and fill up the tire, then go to the tire store.

I went back in the house and the kids are not ready, don't have shoes on, I can't find the cat and I'm freaking out that he snuck out when I let the dog out. I finally got everything ready to go and I announce that we're taking the Kia. The kids immediately start bitching. Story of my life.

I usher them out the door and my dog decides to make a run for it. Bolts out the door and runs down the street. I am yelling at her and trying to chase her down. She looked right at me as she took a shit in the neighbor's yard. Then she proceeded to chase a group of children who were walking to the bus stop and run in front of the debris pick-up truck. I finally got her on the leash and took her back to the house. I was livid. I was ready to give her away.

I got a bag and went to pick up her shit. I could not find it anywhere. My neighbor's yard is full of brown leaves so it must have been camouflaged. I felt terrible. I look really hard. I felt immense guilt about it.

Now, I'm ready to take the kids to school. I pick up the other two and they looked confused that I was driving the clown car. "Get in- book bags on laps, instruments on heads, no one talk to me." I was mouth breathing like a Neanderthal.

As I'm driving down the road, I developed a horrible pain in my chest. It radiated up my throat and into my jaw. I sighed and then had the following conversation with myself in my own head:

Are you having a heart attack? You better not be having a heart attack, you don't have time to deal with a heart attack. It's probably just your GERD.  If you start breaking out out in sweats and vomiting, then you might be having a heart attack and you can go the hospital. Maybe it will be one of those silent heart attacks. People have them all the time and don't even realize it. You can power through. But it's probably just your GERD.....

I drop the kids off and go buy the air machine, I went to home to blow up the tire, and drove to the tire store. I sat and waited. My chest stopped hurting - it was my reflux, after all. My zit and my face were still pounding though, so that was good.

The tire guy looked at my tire and came back. "Yeah, you have a nail in the tire and we can plug it for $17 but you really need a new tire. It's completely bald on the inside. We can get you a new tire for $110 or we can do a used tire for $66 and then you can come back within 30 days and get a new tire and we can take the $66 off the price. So, do you want a new tire or a used tire?" I just stared at him in disbelief.
                          
   "This is not happening right now," I said. Which was not an answer to his question. He looked confused. "So you want the used tire?"

I thought for a minute. Screw it, let's go balls deep, I'll just get the new tire, rotate it, spin in, diddily do-da to it, take all of my money. ALL of it. Just take it ALL. "Just give me the new tire. I'll be in the lobby crying on the inside."

After I paid my $110 dollars, I ran some required errands. Then I ordered a pizza and went home and ate the entire thing by myself.
                        
                                The whole f*cking pizza. I've lost control of my life.

My ibprofen was wearing off and I was feeling achy again. I decided to take a hot bath. I have a sunken jacuzzi tub that I NEVER use. I wipe it down once a month, otherwise it sits empty behind the closed shower curtain.

I went upstairs to the run the bath and I pull back the curtain and my tub is full of dog hair and dirt. My husband must have washed the dog before he left and not informed me. I cleaned the tub and sanitized it. As I waited for it to fill up, I leaned over the vanity to pop my pimple. It needed to be popped. It was white and hurting. This thing was so big, it's going to visit it's cousins in Indiana for Christmas.

I'm trying to pop it and then I realize that I have a mustache. I experienced a moment of self loathing. I popped this pimple but it had like 3 heads in it and I had blood, pus and white disgusting smegma-looking stuff oozing out of everywhere. Then for some reason the whole layer of skin covering this zit, completely came off. It was raw, throbbing, puss-y and gross. I sank into the hot tub with a roll of toilet paper on the ledge and I would periodically blow lime-green snot out of my nose and dab the festering ooze on my face. I'm a disgusting animal. I hate everything.

I got out of the bath and wrapped myself in a towel and laid down in bed. I don't remember what happened next but I was awoken by my getting home from school and I was wondering why I had no clothes on and what day it was. My face still hurt.

My daughter had a concert that night and I had to speak in front of 200+ people. I got up to get ready. I put ice on my disgusting face and took a million different medications. Then, I did what I do best. I put a smile on my face and pretended like everything is fine. Like a boss. Also, I didn't proofread this blog post because f*uck it, I'm in the corner sucking my thumb right now.