Last week was seriously rough. I'm seeking counseling to help me recover from in. For real. Worse then usual. It all came to a head last Thursday morning.
It SEEMED like a normal day. I got up, let out the dog, fed the animals, and moved the asshole elf while my kids were getting dressed. Then I made breakfast and lunches. I had just popped some croissants in the oven and I was putting together a salad for lunch. Next thing I know, my 10 year old was stomping down the stairs. She stood in front of me and said, "What did you do with my learning menu? It's due today."
Before I continue, you are probably wanting to know what a learning menu is. In school, for every unit they have to do this menu. It's a sheet that has different projects on it and the projects are worth a certain amount of points. You have to get 100 points. So you might do an "entree" project worth 50 points and 2 "appetizer" projects worth 15 points and a "dessert" project worth 20 points. I feel like she has a new learning menu every week. It's the worst ever. It's not even Christmas and I'm like:
She always procrastinates and then stresses out about it. I tried to get her to work on it a little bit at a time. "You know, if you work on your learning menu for an hour or 2 on Sunday, then it won't be so stressful during the week." She replied, "Don't lecture me until you get your own life together." That's the kind of shit my 10 year old says. I don't even have the energy left in me to argue with her. I'm was just like
Back to Thursday morning - my daughter said, "What did you do with my learning menu? It's due today."
"I didn't do anything with it."
"It was on the desk upstairs and now it's not there."
"I cleaned up the desk upstairs and I didn't see it. Did you check your book bag?"
"It's not in there."
"Just check it."
She pulled out her folders and rummaged through them. When she didn't find it, she went into full-on meltdown mode and started SCREAMING at me. "YOU THREW AWAY MY LEARNING MENU! I NEED YOU TO HELP ME." Then epic sobbing ensued.
I knew that I didn't throw it away. It had to be in the house. We had 20 minutes until they needed to be out of the door, lunches weren't done yet and the timer was beeping for the croissants to come out of the oven. I didn't have time to deal with her. I yelled upstairs to my husband, "Please help this child find her menu!" I sent her upstairs so he could deal with her. I went back to assembling breakfast and making coffee. I could hear her muffled screams and sobs. Yikes.
While that was happening, my 12 year old came downstairs. I looked her up and down. "Didn't you wear that outfit on Monday?"
"So?"
"You have so many clothes. Why are you wearing the same outfit in one week?"
"Because I can. At least I'm not white trash!"
Did this B just accuse me of being white trash? Did that just happen? "What did you just say to me?" I asked, angrily. "NOTHING!" she yelled and then went upstairs to change. Is it a full moon? What is happening.
In the meantime, my 10 year old comes back downstairs. Her face is red and her eyes are puffy. She's been crying. "You always throw away everything that is important to me!" she said as I set out breakfast on the table.
How can she honestly think that? Like, I spend my days going through her room. "Look at this gymnastics medal - I'm throwing it away. She likes this shirt - I'm throwing it away. She worked hours on a project-I'm throwing it away." That's crap. I took a deep breath and didn't even respond. She was projecting her stress onto me and I was not about to add fuel to that fire. My husband and 7th grader joined her at the table. My older daughter had changed and gave me the meanest look ever.
Now that lunches were made, and breakfast was finished - there was 7 minutes until they had to leave. I sat down on the floor and pulled the folders out of my 10 year old's book bag. I calmly pulled out each piece of paper. Guess what I found? Her god forsaken learning menu in the folder WHERE IT BELONGS. Imagine that.
Do I get a thank you? A smile? NO. My 10 year old had a calm come over her and she said, "Well, you WOULD throw it away." Seriously.
Then, they left. I stood alone in my dirty kitchen. My heart was pounding and I was emotionally exhausted. It was only 7:10 am but it was already a long day. I went to the to-do list on my refrigerator and scribbled Get new prescription for Zoloft. Then, I poured a cup of coffee and sat on the couch and read the news. I'm really living the dream.
No comments:
Post a Comment