Morning Struggles

This morning was a serious struggle. I wanted to take my kids and be like:
                                         
My 9 year old thinks that I keep track of all of her sh*t. That is NOT my job. Every morning it's like, "Have you seen my shoes? Where is my jacket? Can you get my book?" No. I'm always in the middle of making breakfast or lunches, or feeding the dog. She thinks I should stop what I'm doing and find whatever she needs. It is maddening. You are almost 10 years old. Keep track of your own things.

This morning it was the wax for her braces. I was trying to get breakfast on the table and she walked in with her hands on her hips and asked, "Where is my wax?" Not in a nice, inquisitive way. In a rude, accusatory way.
"I don't know. When did you use it last?"
"Last night but I can't find it."
"Just eat and I'll look for it."
"NO. I'm not going to eat without it."
I looked for all the normal places it could be but it was nowhere to be found.

"I'm going to have to pick some up today," I told her.
Do you want to know what she said to me? She had the damn nerve to say, "You need to pick it up and drop it off to me at school." I laughed and laughed. "You're trippin. I have to do this little thing called working for a living."

She did not like that. She whined. I am pissed off though because they did leave too much wire sticking out. WTF? Don't I pay these people enough money to not have to deal with this? You had one job...

In the middle of this wax situation my 11 year old comes up to me and says, "Hey mom, you said I could get a second ear piercing and highlights when I turn twelve. Can I still?"
                           
"Yeah. Remember? You said I could."
"No. I didn't. I would remember something like that."
This kid's strategy is to tell me that I said she could do something in hopes that I'll actually believe her. No. It's not going to work.
"Yes. Besides, EVERYONE is getting a second piercing."
Really? Everyone? Well, in that case just do what everyone else does.....she's out of her mind.
"Guess what? I'm not everyone's mom and I say we're not doing that."

She started bitching, then this other one is still whining about the wax. I was about to lose it. They are too old to still be whining. I angrily tried to open the canister of coffee and coffee grinds spilled down my dress, into my bra, into my shoes, all over the floor. It was the icing on the cake.
                                 
"JUST GET IN THE CAR!!!!" I yelled. They did. My 9 year old magically found her wax after that. It's amazing how a mom freak out can motivate my children.

I cleaned up the coffee and make a cup. I poured it into my travel mug, turned to my husband and said, "Dear God! I might need something stronger than this to survive the day."

My 9 year old didn't talk to me on the car ride to school. When I dropped her off I said, "Have a good day." She gave me the look of death before slamming the car door shut.
                                     
Thanks, I love you too!