The Cat

I have another man in my life. His name is Jeff and I love him. Look at this face. How could you not?
                                              
He is my boyfriend. I love him. I want to get a sling and carry him around in it. Like a crazy cat lady.
                                     
He's so funny because during the day he sleeps but at night he is on the prowl. We keep his food upstairs in the cat corner and the other night I heard  lot of rustling and noise. Jeff had scratched through the bag of cat food and was eating it. Had food in his bowl but decided that it was something he had to do.
                           
It was 2 in the morning. I dragged myself out of bed. Said "WTF" to the cat and moved the bag of food into the closet. The cat was pissed off. He just stood in front of the closet door.

I crawled back to bed and before long I was drifting into blissful sleep. Next thing I know I felt something warm near my eye. The cat had backed himself up on my face and was trying to put his gross cat anus in my eye. I sat up in bed and I shooed him away. He looked at me like, "Yeah. Next time you won't move my food. Will you?" My blood ran cold. The cat did it on purpose. To punish me. What a jack. I'm lucky that I didn't get toxoplasmosis of the eye.

The cat is smart. Way smarter than the dog. He can open doors somehow. I'll be in the bathroom and the door will open and he will strut in like he owns the place and will jump on my lap. He looks at me like, "Why'd you leave me?"
                                    
I need to do a better job of locking doors. The dog sits by the bathroom door too. I will never use the bathroom in peace ever.

Let's take a moment to admire Jeff's cuteness:
   
                                        
                                     Why are these humans taking pictures of me?

My REAL babies are doing well. Daylight's savings time has thrown us off. Last night my youngest went to bed earlier than usual but my 11 year old couldn't sleep. "Can I lay with you guys?"
She NEVER wants to lay with us. It was weird. "Okay." It was like 3 grown people in bed. "Can you sing to me?"
                           
She was regressing. I didn't care. I liked it. "What do you want me to sing? Twenty One Pilots or something?" What does one sing to a 6th grader at bedtime?
"No. That's Irish song you used to sing to us when we were little."
"Okay." She snuggled into me and I sang her a song. The cat meowed along. Mostly because he thought it was horrible and he was mocking me.

It was so nice to snuggle for a few minutes. She quickly came to her senses and went to bed alone. My 9 year old was up at 5:00 am and climbed into bed with us. Uggggh. She wanted to talk. I was like, "Just talk to the cat...."

I'll get more sleep tonight, I hope. That is IF I can keep both the kids out of my bed and the cat doesn't try to put his butt hole on me.