It's been on my bucket list for a while to go to Dollywood. We love the mountains as well as over-priced amusement parks so it's only natural. I mentioned this to my BFF and she was like, "My parents have a cabin right by Dollywood. Let's go for Spring Break!" That's what we did. Four adults, six kids, one cabin and lots of fun.
We drove up on Saturday and the kids stuffed their earbuds in their ears and ignored us the whole ride up. It was glorious. My husband and I were belting out old school songs. We did amazing renditions of Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything for Love" and "November Rain." lol. We are corny.
After an easy 5 hour drive, we arrived at the cabin and stretched our legs. It was beautiful. You stood on the porch and looked out to the Smoky Mountains. I asked the kids if they wanted to explore the woods with me. I grew up in the Pine Barrens and spent much of my childhood in the woods. I also got myself into a lot of trouble in the woods as a teenager. :/
I took the older kids down with me. "Come on guys, let's blaze a trail!" I was so excited. They were not as adventurous as I thought they would be. "Ewww....there's spiderwebs. OMG! A branch just scratched me. I just saw a snake hole!" I was slightly disappointed that they were not thrilled with the forest exploration. "Come ON guys! That's the point! You are supposed to get dirty, look at spiderwebs, get a little banged up." They looked at me like,
They did pull out their cell phones to take pictures to document that fact that they had braved the woods. That's modern day kids for you.
We hung out, went to pick up pizza and stayed close. That night we had to put on a charade that the Easter Bunny was coming. We snuck the baskets on the back porch, put them together, and then tried to hide them without the kids finding out.
The next morning, the little ones were so excited. My kids - not so much. They were looking for baskets full of candy, money, fun things...but you would have thought I told them they needed to find some sh*t sandwiches. My oldest doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny and my youngest whispered in my ear, "I saw this Pez in a grocery bag you brought home last week." I think that was her way of telling me she knows the Easter Bunny isn't real. I replied, "I don't know what you're talking about. I never brought Pez. The Easter Bunny brought it."
I don't care if these holes don't believe in magic. I will hide Easter Baskets and set cookies out for Santa until they go off to college. I need that.
We made a nice big Easter lunch/dinner. So yummy. Ham and all the fixings. Then we loaded up the kids and went out to explore Gatlinburg.
The weather was beautiful and the streets were crowded. Our first stop was an old fashioned candy shop. They had a machine making taffy and the kids stood in front of the window, mesmerized. There was so much yummy candy, I wanted it all. I told the kids that they could pick 2 things.
We walked through the aisles with our mouth watering. My 9 year old picked up a box. "Mom, what are these?" I laughed. "OMG! Candy cigarettes." I turned to my husband, "Do you remember these? Can you believe they still make them?" He grabbed them from me. "I used to love these things." My daughter asked, "Can I get them?"
I told her she could, against my better judgement. They were $.75. We used to eat them when we were kids, what the hell? Afterwards, I regretted my decision as I was walking the streets of Gatlinburg next to my 9 year old daughter with a candy cigarette hanging out of her mouth. Oh - the looks! Whatever, I never claimed to be mom of the year. Worst Mom Ever.
After window shopping and seeing the sights, the husbands took the oldest 4 to the movies and we went back to the cabin with the little ones. When we arrived, I got out to help the four year old out of her car seat. She looked at me with a big smile. "Miss J. Can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"You, you....you are an old woman."
I haven't laughed so hard in a while. Somehow it was much funnier coming from a little one and not my 6th grader. I am an old woman. haha
The next day we went to Dollywood. The kids were thrilled. They went on all kinds of crazy roller coasters. My children are thrill seekers. The bigger, higher, faster, scarier the ride...the better. They take after their father. I HATE roller coasters and any rides that spin. Which is pretty much all of them.
Somehow the kids talked me into getting onto a fire engine roller coaster. We waited in line and I watched it run multiple times and thought. This doesn't look so bad. Then I got on it.
The first dip and I was gone. I was screaming for my life. I hated it. I dropped the F-bomb. In front of my kids, and other people's kids. If there is one thing you can count on - it's me to say the F word when I really shouldn't.
I screamed some more. Then the roller coaster stopped. It was getting ready to go backwards. I was not happy. I was sobbing like it was my last minutes on earth.
"I....don't...wanna...." Everyone was laughing at me. When the ride ended, I was so relieved. NEVER AGAIN. I vowed. I was traumatized.
I watched the kids while they rode rides. They were so happy. It was the best day.
When we got back to the cabin, we put the little ones to bed and the moms and dads got into the hot tub with the 4 older kids. We laughed as it started to overflow. My kids thought it was fancy. After a while, everyone got ready to get out but my husband and I wanted to stay a while longer.
We kissed the girls and all the kids were sent to bed. Finally it was just the two of us. Peace and quiet. Now don't get any ideas - there were no ulterior motives for being in the hot tub alone. Not that it wouldn't be preferable. It definitely would be. There was just too many people and we are much too old now to be excited by the thrill of potentially getting caught.
So we sat in the hot tub, quietly, enjoying the moment and each other's company. That's when my husband pointed through the window. At the top of the balcony, was the head of my 11 year old. Watching us. Like a stalker. Seriously? Not a moment of privacy. I asked our friend to close the blinds.
Quiet and alone again....until the back door swung open. Our 9 year old stood in front of us with a look that said, What are y'all doing in there? I was irritated. "Can I help you?"
"Yeah. I just wanted to know if I could get a drink."
She knows she can get a drink, she can get her own drink. She just wanted to be a stalker.
My kids at all times - stalkers and blockers.
I don't understand it. They always want to know what we're doing, what we're talking about. They want to be in all the adult business and conversation. It's maddening. Seriously, we are talking about pulling up the bushes in the front yard, how expensive the electric bill is, and how we are going to try not to be fat. Adult conversations are boring. They are not missing out.
We got out of the hot tub and headed to bed. Our next day at Dollywood was a little more trying. The kids were tired and everything else but we made some great memories.
I was sad to leave this morning. It was so nice to get away from the monotony of everyday life. To be with friends that we love to be around and eat whatever we want.
We loaded up the car and said our goodbyes. Then we drove down the mountain and headed back home. It was so beautiful. We admired the mountains and beautiful scenery. My husband took my hand in his as we drove down the interstate and the children napped.
When they woke up, we took turns playing all the songs we wanted to hear. It's a thing that we do. The kids groan when it's my turn. "Mom, don't play something crappy from the 90's." I didn't. I played the Safety Dance. We all love the Safety Dance. We drove along, all four of us singing along and I thought to myself: It doesn't get much better than this.
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