Working Out is Horrible

              
Last summer/ fall - I lost almost 20 pounds. I was counting calories and working out. I gained 5 pounds between going on a cruise and the holidays. Since then, I've been gaining and losing the same pound. About 3 weeks ago, I decided to get back on the bandwagon and loose that last 5 pounds.

I've been going to the gym pretty consistently. I f**cking hate it. I hate to work out, it's the worst thing but I do it anyway. I went to the gym today and entertained myself by watching all the people. There is always some skinny 15 year old boys trying to lift weights. Some middle-aged guy with huge muscles looking at himself in the mirror like, Yeah. I'm a sexy beast. Then there are good-looking 20 year old chicks with a bunch of makeup on in sports bras. Then there's me on the arc thinking to myself: I can't believe that I have to work this hard to not look good.
                                  
I have this weird knee fat that I cannot get rid of. I googled exercises that can help get rid of knee fat and it said that knee fat can develop with age. WTF? Then I linked to this article about how your body changes in your thirties - you muscle tone decreases, metabolism slows down. Blah, blah, blah....Holy shit! I might as well give up now.

Even though I think my body is gross, I am SUPER vigilant not to talk about it out loud - especially in front of my girls. I want them to love their bodies no matter what they look like and I can only do that by modeling similar behavior. Otherwise, I would have cashed out my 401K and gotten implants, liposuction and Botox years ago. I'm so vain that I probably think this blog is about me.

That doesn't stop my kids from criticizing my body though. Especially my oldest daughter. I was getting ready to go to the gym and she had the gall to tell me, "Ewwww, mom. You're boobs are so flat!"
             
"Maybe because I had you and your sister hanging off them for YEARS of my life. They did their job well. Haters gonna hate." I am will give it right back to her. We can't all be an 11 year old Jennifer Lopez. She is the worst.

Although, with her phone gone she's been much more engaged. She even volunteered to go to the grocery store with me today. She NEVER wants to go to the grocery store with me. I thought it was very suspect. DTK.
                            
We had a nice time. We listened to music and sang together. Some how I left the grocery store with a 6 pack of Starbucks, a scented candle, poptarts, colored pencils, mechanical pencils. This kid is a con artist.

I got home and unloaded everything. I mourned the fact that I couldn't eat anything. Don't feel bad for me though. For dinner I ate some shrimp wrapped in lettuce with some carrots on the side. Yum! Maybe my knees will be less fat in the morning.