Yester Morning Was Terrible

                          
This week has been kind of weird because my husband had to go out of town for work and left me to my own devices, which is a little frightening.

Thusday night there was an event at Chik-fil-a that I took the children to. I let my oldest bring a friend. Afterwards, I took the friend home and her parents invited me in for a minute. "Would you like a peach margarita?" they asked.
            
We sat down and chatted for a while and laughed with the children. It was a very enjoyable time. I had planned to go home and prepare for the next day but life it too short not to enjoy the company of friends on a Thursday evening with a peach margarita.

We got home around 8:30 and the kids got ready for bed. My youngest was so happy that my husband was gone so she could sleep in bed with me. It's her favorite thing. She was beyond excited.
                                        
I was so exhausted and crashed. Unfortunately, I didn't sleep well because my daughter was on me all night.
                         
I kept pushing her to the other side of the bed but she would turn right back over and put her arm around my neck and her leg over my body. Not comfortable.

Because I didn't sleep well, I inadvertently pushed the snooze button 8 times. I woke up at 6:35. My 11 year old had already gotten herself up, gotten dressed, and was sitting in her room straightening her hair. "You should have woken me up!" She shrugged like she didn't care.

I told my 9 year old to get dressed and she announced, "I need to wear a red tee shirt for field day. Oh course she didn't have a red tee shirt in her closet. How she has 50 shirts and not one red shirt is astounding. My oldest daughter didn't have a red tee shirt. I went through my drawer and pulled out the only red tee shirt in the house.

It was a shirt that my high school English teacher gave to me from a poetry festival in 1986. The shirt is old. I don't wear it anymore because it is so thin and worn. I made an exception for field day. I held it up. "Look, I found a red tee shirt."

She looked at it and had a full on freak out. "IT DOESN'T MATCH MY SHORTS. IT HAS CHICKENS ON THE BACK! EVERYONE IS GOING TO LAUGH AT ME!!!!"

                       
Every damn day is some end-of-the-world level freak out with this kid. Christ! It's exhausting.

I took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. "No. No one will laugh at you. It's vintage. Vintage is cool and I will tie up the back of the shirt so you can't see the chickens. It's has a William Carlos Williams poem. Everyone loves William Carlos Williams."
                                                           
She was like, "NO ONE LIKES WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS." Well, okay. That went well.

I finally got her to put it on. I tied up the back and rolled up the sleeves, securing them with ribbon. She looked super cute. She looked in the mirror and said, "I like how you did the sleeves. I'm totally vintage." This child is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

We were running late and needed to go. "Get in the car."
She protested, "I need a sweater."
"No you don't. It's not cold."
"But YOU'RE wearing a jacket."
"I'm only wearing a jacket so I don't have to put on a bra." You know, because I'm classy.

I was still in my pajamas. We got into the car and she said, "Can we go to the store? I want to get one of those water bottles with the special lids that pop out of top. You know?"

What the hell? Sure. Why not? We went to the convenience store and I got her the water bottle with the special top. In my pajamas and slippers. There is no shame in my game.

We got to the school after the bell rang. I needed to sign her in. We were walking into the school and I asked her, "Are you embarrassed that I'm in my PJs?"

She shrugged, "No. Everyone already knows how you are, mom." Yes, everyone knows I am a hot mess. I don't have the time or the energy to pretend otherwise. It's who I am - take it or leave it.

Before we walked in she dropped her water bottle and the top broke off. The special water bottle with the special top. She had a second freak out. "I NEED A NEW WATER BOTTLE." I was at my limit. "Just get into school."

I shuffled my slippered feet into the front office. They handed me the sheet to sign in. I had to write down a reason for being late. What to pick from:
A. Hot Mess Living
B. Fight With Daughter About Red T-Shirt
C. Went to Convenience Store to Get Special Water Bottle
D. All of the Above

I was so glad it was Friday. I was ready for the weekend on Monday afternoon. That afternoon the kids conned me into taking them to Taco Bell and having friends sleep over. We always have kids at our house. Whats a few more? I picked up my oldest's friend.

We were driving home and I talked about what they planned to do that evening. I am having a 90s party next month and I thought they might want to help me make decorations. "You guys can help me paint my cassette tapes."
My daughter's friend was like, "What's a cassette tape?"
"You don't know what a cassette tape is? You've never seen one?"
She shook her head, "I have never heard of that in my entire life."
 Then my daughter tried to explain to her what a cassette tape was. "Back in the olden days..."

The olden days? Holy crap!
                            
These children will never know the searing disappointment of forgetting to hit the "record" button on the cassette player when their favorite song comes on the radio. That's only for people who lived in the olden days, people who wore t-shirts from 1986.